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Date: October 17, 2022
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he had better be satisfying you in some spectacular way for him to not expect you to ever masturbate. This is not normal behavior
I think it matters what type of girl she hooked up with. If the coworker is usually straight and they just got a little wild then that is something I could live with. However, if the friend is full out lesbian I would feel more betrayed. Have you met this coworker before?
Real talk, your ex boyfriend is a douche. Plenty of faithful “high value” men and women are out there. He's not 100% wrong though. The only thing that he's 'more right' about than you is that there ARE differences in how men and women prioritize and think about sex. This can be seen anecdotally by looking at the gay man sexual marketplace vs the lesbian sexual marketplace. I think apps like Grindr and gay clubs are places where you can see pure male sexual id unleashed. I've been a handful of gay and lesbian clubs and the difference is night and oranges.
If I had to guess, I'd say that it's probable more men feel sexual urges to cheat than women because it seems like attraction works differently for us. That said, being able to control your urges and not throw away a life you've built with a partner for some strange isn't THAT difficult. Especially as you get older. I realized long ago that “you can't fuck em all” and at a certain point the allure of sleeping with a new woman doesn't hold a candle to being in a committed relationship with an amazing woman.
Last night prior to making this post. She actually had my lunch and breakfast ready when I got home from the gym and she slipped a note in apologizing for how she acted and for being unappreciative but I intend to speak with her more when I get home tonight and let her know that I love her and I want to do whatever I can to make things easier for her but that I need her support as well and I’m also going to suggest she resumes therapy once our new insurance kicks in.
She stopped therapy on her own without speaking with me about it and I think it’s important she gets back into it. I’ve been in therapy for a very long time and think it’s essential and the whole reason she was doing it previously was because I arranged it for her.
I wish I had a better way to contact his wife. I'm not sure when or even if she will see the Facebook message request.
Any time you feel “crazy” or invalidated in a relationship, or frequently confused, it's a warning sign that you're dating someone emotionally abusive. He's using “breakups” with you as a manipulation tactic to punish you for speaking up for yourself. I highly encourage you to download a free copy of Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft. I think you'll see your boyfriend's behaviors in the pages.