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hello loves I’m back and I want to have fun with you ///fuckmachine [2656 tokens remaining]
Date: February 11, 2023
AmateurPub
Don't try to blame this on the girl or her mother (not 'BM', by the way).
Your boyfriend is a lazy, exploitative POS, a terrible father and an awful partner.
You are more fortunate than his daughter and his ex because you don't ever have to see him again. They are stuck with him.
If he's so amazing, why would he want to keep going and stop using condoms, even when knowing how much anxiety it causes you? Those aren't the actions of a good husband. Has anything even slightly similar happened to you before? Where your husband has 'disagreed' with your reasoning for something, so has carried on to do it his way/do whatever fits his wishes instead of yours?
Do you know why he is so insistent on not using condoms if you're on BC?
Wait, is she off of the medication or is she still taking it? Also what sort of medication was it? There are a few which can mess up libido for 1-2 years even after stopping to take them (though usually that's a long-term effect, not something that happens from a truly new medication).
Besides that… did she have her bloodwork done recently? Is she very stressed? Does she have a job which includes lots of physical touch (working with young kids, for example) and she might be “touched out”? Are you in the US and she is terrified of pregnancy with the abortion law changes? Did anything else in her life happen which might have killed her libido for a long time (death of a family member, being bullied or assaulted…)?
All in all, there are many possible reasons, but in the end, it doesn't really matter what the reason is if she doesn't truly want to work on it. I don't think it's productive to have any sexual activity if she's not into it – it will likely push her more and more towards seeing sex as a chore.
If she is willing to work on it, I would suggest the following:
1) A visit to her gynecologist and GP. Bloodwork and hormones need to be checked. If she is taking any medication – including birth control – she might need an adjustment.
2) Her working on her body issues in some way to feel happy again. Could be by going to the gym, getting a therapist for her insecurities, treating herself to a spa day or professional makeup course… Also note that there are a lot of meds which can cause weight gain and pimples, a med adjustment might help a lot there as well!
3) Intimacy without sex. To get her to enjoy being close to you again, it might help if you two make a rule about no sex happening and then just spending time with each other in a physically close way. Take a bath together. Give each other a massage. Cuddle on the sofa or in bed. Everything goes, except for sex. The idea is to help her relax around you and feel physically connected to you in a positive way again, which will then, with the other changes, hopefully lead to sexual intimacy in the end again.
Yeah, no. He thinks you should show you love him by doing all the cooking. It's only one's love language if the person doing the cooking likes to cook to show their love, not the other way around. If cooking is his love language, then he'd cook for you.
Basically, it just sounds like excuses to make you agree that you should do all the cooking. He wants someone to do all the cooking and that someone is you because your his gf.
What should you do? Figure out if this is what you want in a relationship because this is the type of relationship he's offering. If it's not, then break it off and find someone who will be in the type of relationship you want to be in and this includes agreeing or at least negotiating on household chores, finances, children, worrying full or part time or staying at home, pets, etc.
I don't think you should get over it. I think he should make alternate plans. You both made the baby and you'll both be raising the baby. It's a pretty big red flag that he sees nothing in his life as needing to change due to you being pregnant. Will he change once the baby comes? Will the partying slow down? Will you and the baby be a priority?
He's not really taking your feelings into account. Maybe you could do a combined bachelor/bachelorette party closer to home? The guys go play golf in the day, the girls go to a spa. You guys meet up for dinner and drinks (I know you're pregnant) after.
Your circumstances as a couple changed and so too should his idea of what he wanted. I think you should have a serious conversation with him about how he sees his life changing with the baby on the way and you two raising a child. What does he see as the split in responsibilities for the baby, etc.
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My girlfriend and I have been together for 4 months. A bit about us, my girlfriend is an OBGYN, her family is decently well off, her dad is a physician and her mom works as a professor she didn't go to private school but she went to one of the top schools in New Jersey. I work in public health consulting, my mom works as a teacher and my dad used to work in construction but he had a bad injury and had to retire early.
We met each other through a dating app, and started dating. Initially things were great, it was my girlfriend who was the one that pushed for us to be exclusive, and when we first got together she had a lot of respect for me.
When it came to money too, I assumed she made more money than me I knew doctors made a lot but she would tell me a lot of times, oh i have so much debt. When it came to dates, we split probably 60:40 me paying the larger share, but there were never things which she said she wanted to do that I was like that’s too much.
But it started recently, when we were planning a trip to France, she tells me that she has these points and wants to book business class. And I was like wow, yeah I’ll just chill in economy, even if I had the points I would much rather use it for experiences than an airplane ride. She then starts telling me that, riding in comfort is something I should aspire towards. And that I should be more ambitious. And this is when she asks me how much I make, I told her that after bonus I make 140k, I asked her how much she makes and then she says her total which is 410k. And this is after working on average 36 hours a week. I ask her how much debt does she have she says she has 200k in debt, but has over 300k in savings and in retirement accounts.
She then tells me that she doesn’t mind, that she sees that I have potential. And she says that I should get an MBA and try to work at a place like Mc Kinsey. For me, I’ll be honest I do want to earn more in life, like I have friends that wanted to start our own agency and all, but the way my girlfriend was not in an aspirational way. I ask her, I am like if I was to stay at where I am salary wise would that be okay. And she tells me that she loves me, and would be okay, but that she would be settling.
I was very upset, and I just told my girlfriend that I need some space. I am wondering if there is any point in us going forward. Like initially I liked the fact that we were a power couple, I thought okay sweet we will be able to have a comfortable life together, and give our future kids a lot more of an enriching child hood. But now, its like I am wondering if she will just look down on me, and think she is settling. I don't want to waste time in a relationship that has an expiration date, at this point is it best to just call it quits?
tl;dr – found out girlfriend makes over 400k a year, she told me if I don't match her she would be the one settling in our relationship