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Date: November 18, 2022
AmateurPub
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This isn’t a method, it’s laziness on his part. He’s disgusting. How can you even look at him romantically or sexually when he’s such a gross child? Delegate him the furthest bathroom from everyone in the house and tell him that’s his toilet, he can only use it and live in his own filth.
He 100% sexually assaulted her. Consent by coercion (in his case, using the relationship as leverage, brow beating arguments to wear down her resistance) is not actual consent. He is facilitating her rapes repeatedly. It is no wondering she is showing classic signs of sexual abuse. He’s done this to other women. He is a predator. This son of a bitch belongs in jail. I hope she gets far the fuck away from this creature. Maybe she can reach out to his exes and they can all come forward to get that piece of shit locked up. As long as he is breathing free air, there will be more victims down the road until/unless he is stopped.
It's not snobby to have standards and goals. You've realised that your 5 year and 10 year plan don't align with him and his phase in life.
Yes, it would be easier and better for both parties to break it off sooner rather than later.
i can guarantee at least one of the women will fall for him and he won’t be emotionally available
Wow big guarantee! What if he's only sleeping with people who know that he is committed to his partner and that he is not open to making emotional connections? Turns out a lot of women are good at knowing their own boundaries and would only enter into this situation if they're happy with what's on offer, surprisingly.
Do you really really like her and want to see if she likes you back?
Cut back on the contact but don't change the quality. Do not atop your hobbies or whatever occupies your time for her… ever, even if you start dating.at work, do converse but let there be silence. It will be very uncomfortable. Get comfortable with that uncomfort. If you don't see her try reaching out more or trying to carry the conversation she's just a peer.
All that said, don't shit where you eat. Not unless she has a lot more to lose than you.
OP I have my thoughts after reading your post but after reading your comments, all I have to say is that you need therapy. This relationship is not going to work and you need to learn to be alone before you hop into another relationship
Why? Because she was your only female friend? Most of the time, when we are friends with someone, we JUST want friendship. Not to date them, and no, not to have sex with them. Friends are for friendship, not sex. 99% of the time.
Have you ever talked about what she wants out of her love life? Whether she even believes in FWB? Have you ever explored whether she and you have chemistry and would like to explore that?
The behavior you described was not normal or appropriate. Mother was clearly claiming your BF as her baby. The fact that he didn't get up or discourage his mother is another red flag. Stick around for a world of hurting.
It sounds like a manic episode tbh, I would say at the very least he needs some sort of psych eval done to make sure he doesn't need to be on medication, otherwise things can/will get worse. It's possible he need some form of inpatient treatment & outside of that it will likely be hot for him to find a job in his field for a while… You may have to put your education on hold for a bit & be the breadwinner at least until this gets sorted out, if this is as outside of the norm as you've described, getting him to a doctor should be a priority.
What does it matter? Some people spend their time differently than you
He doesn’t give a shit. If you’ve tried to talk to him about it and he just gets defensive, he cares more about his ego than your pleasure. Please see this as the giant walking red flag that it is. This is just gross behaviour. He doesn’t see you as equal in your relationship.