Fair enough question, I honestly was too much of a coward to say it because of how stupid I think it is I really don’t care at this point because it’s something that matters to me. He knew I was insecure about my body and I made it clear before we even started getting serious that I was against how often he consumed corn and that his social medias were nothing but women he chose to friend and follow solely for their looks. I never asked him to stop, I just said that it would be a deal breaker for me and he agreed to change his habits instead of us going our separate ways. This was clearly an addiction because of how often he was consuming this kind of media (like every bit of his free time, literally hours a day) and I honestly didn’t expect it to go away overnight. I was even willing to emotionally support him through it.
What finally broke me was I found out he blew an insane amount of money on OF subs over a span of three years. Not to mention I found a fake Instagram account of his, but there wasn’t anything on it like messages or even liked posts/comments. That’s not even what upsets me the most. It was his constant anxiety of our finances that would cause him to emotionally lash out at me when I never spent money on anything but necessities. I didn’t even buy myself maternity clothes because I thought I shouldn’t spend the money on something that I’d wear for such a short amount of time and I could just wear his. I stopped buying makeup because he told me he preferred when I didn’t wear any, I only bought takeout when he wanted takeout because he’d tell me I’m spending too much money when I said I was too tired to cook. I wasn’t allowed to follow/be friends with men I personally knew on my social medias, none of which were ever remotely inappropriate. He once berated me and blamed me for a scammer taking my photos from Instagram and making a fake account claiming to have an OF. He screamed at me over the phone and told me it was my fault because my account was public and I “looked the kinda girl that would have one” when I would just be thankful to have a shred of confidence all of those hot women have. Half of the time I’m too scared to post a picture of my face on social media half the time, I probably will never have the confidence to make a living from pictures/videos in my lifetime. He told me it’s unreasonable of me to ask him to watch our child for ten minutes while I go for a jog when he just wanted to relax that day.
There’s more I could elaborate on. So to be honest it wasn’t just the OF subs that made me shut down, it was the hypocritical treatment I endured while it was going on.
You’re wrong. That’s like saying somebody who has a brain tumor that’s pressing on the frontal lobe has complete control over their behavior. Medical conditions that cause fluctuations in hormones can absolutely impact how a person behaves and how they perceive their behavior.
If he was the human version of shrek i might like him more.
My only concern is if we break up I'll find someone who does basic hygiene but none of the other good parts of him that i look for in a partner. I just don't see anyone having only good qualities so it feels like I'm just going to have a revolving door of partners who aren't good enough.
Saying “what about the uncomfortable white children” is racist and an attack on itself.
They should not even be in a relationship, especially for a person of color, dating a republican is insane because their whole stance is to attack their existence. Voting for racists is an attack.
Kind of should end it now. He’s always going to know what she actually wants. I’m like OP. Very monogamous. I cant share and I don’t want to be shared. If I knew my partner felt differently it would destroy me.
What would be the best approach to try and fix things
Dude seriously? I'm fine if you insult me , but why her?? Isnt she allowed to see whats best for her?
Fair enough question, I honestly was too much of a coward to say it because of how stupid I think it is I really don’t care at this point because it’s something that matters to me. He knew I was insecure about my body and I made it clear before we even started getting serious that I was against how often he consumed corn and that his social medias were nothing but women he chose to friend and follow solely for their looks. I never asked him to stop, I just said that it would be a deal breaker for me and he agreed to change his habits instead of us going our separate ways. This was clearly an addiction because of how often he was consuming this kind of media (like every bit of his free time, literally hours a day) and I honestly didn’t expect it to go away overnight. I was even willing to emotionally support him through it.
What finally broke me was I found out he blew an insane amount of money on OF subs over a span of three years. Not to mention I found a fake Instagram account of his, but there wasn’t anything on it like messages or even liked posts/comments. That’s not even what upsets me the most. It was his constant anxiety of our finances that would cause him to emotionally lash out at me when I never spent money on anything but necessities. I didn’t even buy myself maternity clothes because I thought I shouldn’t spend the money on something that I’d wear for such a short amount of time and I could just wear his. I stopped buying makeup because he told me he preferred when I didn’t wear any, I only bought takeout when he wanted takeout because he’d tell me I’m spending too much money when I said I was too tired to cook. I wasn’t allowed to follow/be friends with men I personally knew on my social medias, none of which were ever remotely inappropriate. He once berated me and blamed me for a scammer taking my photos from Instagram and making a fake account claiming to have an OF. He screamed at me over the phone and told me it was my fault because my account was public and I “looked the kinda girl that would have one” when I would just be thankful to have a shred of confidence all of those hot women have. Half of the time I’m too scared to post a picture of my face on social media half the time, I probably will never have the confidence to make a living from pictures/videos in my lifetime. He told me it’s unreasonable of me to ask him to watch our child for ten minutes while I go for a jog when he just wanted to relax that day.
There’s more I could elaborate on. So to be honest it wasn’t just the OF subs that made me shut down, it was the hypocritical treatment I endured while it was going on.
You’re wrong. That’s like saying somebody who has a brain tumor that’s pressing on the frontal lobe has complete control over their behavior. Medical conditions that cause fluctuations in hormones can absolutely impact how a person behaves and how they perceive their behavior.
If he was the human version of shrek i might like him more.
My only concern is if we break up I'll find someone who does basic hygiene but none of the other good parts of him that i look for in a partner. I just don't see anyone having only good qualities so it feels like I'm just going to have a revolving door of partners who aren't good enough.
We spoke for a long time and dated for a few weeks before I knew about how involved his ex was in his life. But yeah… lesson learned.
Saying “what about the uncomfortable white children” is racist and an attack on itself.
They should not even be in a relationship, especially for a person of color, dating a republican is insane because their whole stance is to attack their existence. Voting for racists is an attack.
Kind of should end it now. He’s always going to know what she actually wants. I’m like OP. Very monogamous. I cant share and I don’t want to be shared. If I knew my partner felt differently it would destroy me.