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cleo, 27 y.o.
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Date: October 31, 2022
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Perhaps more the second one. Like I said I can't say that I was perfect before us, I wasn't and I'm not proud of it in any form whatsoever, but theres no going back and changing it. It just gives me a feeling of insecurity, that I'll never directly show or easily speak about. We both had fucked up pasts in different ways. I didn't even think I would have made it this far if you asked me 10 years ago. Perhaps I believe in some perfect situation that can't possibly be created. I don't mean to blame her, or attack her over it, I think the problem lies with me.
Going to be honest. It seems like you are her backup.
Does he love you? maybe. The issue isn't if he loves you, but how much.
Has he lost feelings for her? Maybe, but wasn't that similar to what he said before?
He definitely started being with you and kept using a bunch of his things. He was with you and then declared himself to her afterwards, and stayed with you because she said no. So what makes you believe he now changed besides declaring himself and being denied by her?
How do you think he would react if you wore a necklace that an ex bf of your gave? Or that in the middle of your relationship you declared yourself to another person while your bf was sleeping?
Honestly don't see what foundation for trust exists now if it never existed in the past.
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Also, if OP didn’t know before what a husband stitch is, they should have looked it up first.
It’s cringe to announce to the world that you’re hopeful.
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I’m in my late 20’s. When I did use dating sites, I set my range 5 years higher and lower. So I wouldn’t have picked a guy OP’s age either.
If he's *literally* loving in every other way, and simply sucks at gift-giving, then this is fairly simple: you want what you don't have. You could get another dude who was perfect in every way, except wasn't great at, say, words of affirmation. And then guess what you would crave?
So be careful and watch out for that. However, it's also possible that this is something he's not good at *right now*, but will get better over time (usually quite a while).
It's not just the sex, it's the physical affection also. I don't think it's transactional to want this in a relationship.
Idk what the problem is w the age gap.
The problem is that the gap is 17 years. You are closer in age to her child. You are young enough to BE her child.
I feel taken advantage of by someone who doesn’t understand that doing laundry twice a week isn’t a 30k a year job.
So she spent the last 14 years raising your kids and managing your home and this is how you talk about her because for less than a year you've had to contribute to that? I imagine she feels pretty taken advantage of when her husband refers to her life as laundry twice a week. No wonder she's depressed.
Western society especially North America is very much against age gap relationships, especially when the parties are young adults. It is felt that there is too much of a maturity gap, and the possibility of a power imbalance and people at a different stage of life. The older the parties this tends to diminish.
I think what ever legal adults decide to do is up to them but this is not a popular view.