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Date: December 11, 2022
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Couples therapy might help you. Besides assumin she was faithful having doubts like that while in LDR is common. Some people just can't get the same connection with in person contact.
You should both work on being less toxic and controlling, then. You don’t get to just be like ‘well it’s a boundary’ and that makes it normal. It’s not.
I would like to point out that almost all system that let you send dick pics also allow you to unsend messages and pictures. If it WAS an accident he would have unsent it along with the apology.
Leaving the pic as sent while apologizing is basically a neon sign telling you he send it to who he want to send it to and wants get to see it.
I'm in the can't-but-curious position, too. What I'm doing is trying butt plugs. I found a training set with a small, medium, and large. The idea is to slowly train your body for anal/butt plugs. I'm making progress towards anal, and discovered that I enjoy the butt plugs in general.
It is also important to say that if butt plugs did nothing for me, hurt me, or turned me off, I would have scrapped the experiment and abandoned anal as an option. Its only because I'm not in pain and actually enjoying the sensation that I'm progressing. My husband has been really laid back about this and isn't pressuring me at all. He reassures me that we never have to actually have anal sex, even though he is happy im trying.
Kick him out. There is no excuse for him to be using that kind of language towards you while you are trying to have a civil, adult conversation. Especially not when you’re being kind enough to house him. No. He doesn’t get to be a bum AND be disrespectful.