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Model from: us
Languages: en,ja,vi
Birth Date: 2003-01-17
Body Type: bodyTypeThin
Ethnicity: ethnicityAsian
Hair color: hairColorBlonde
Eyes color: eyeColorBrown
Subculture: subcultureGamers
Date: October 21, 2022
How long did it take you to feel normal after getting clean? What did it feel like when your dopamine finally came back? Was it a big difference?
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The baby is in a bassinet in the bedroom, per OP. That's recommended for safe sleep.
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The point of being in a relationship is to be happy. If you are not, then drop it.
He wants you around because it is convenient for him.
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No you’re completely right, but him feeling like that is on him. Like there’s really nothing going on with this other person and I just made his jealousy/insecurity worse by lying. That’s how I see it because now he’s going to think the worse and always think I’m lying when it comes to work. I just feel horrible about the whole thing
You need to quickly learn to communicate in your relationship.
You need to tell him what is your expectations.
If you wanted him to be with you that night, you should have told him that you wanted him to be with you. A nice relaxing movie night where you can cuddle with him, the night before your birthday.
If you going into the relationship with the mindset, if it was me, I would have done this without being told, you will constantly be disappointed.
Stop with the immature mind games.
If you want to date an adult then you need to learn to communicate clearly.
This problem could have easily been avoided if you just told him what you wanted from him.
Ask her.
Its just an extremely common topic of conversation.
I mean… If she went to bed alone and got followed and groped while she was asleep, it's hot to see how she did anything wrong there.
I open up with this because I want you to know something important. You were abused in every sense of the word.
What I read above has to be one of the most coercive and horrid things I've ever read a man do to their partner without physically laying hands on them. I could even define it, given your reaction, to a sort of vicarious SA (assault). Worse yet, dude went and blamed you for the actions he set in motion, that he coerced you into. I'm revoking his man &*#(@^& card unilaterally!
Next steps:
Get out of the situation Try to see it those months for what they were, abusive toward you Block this person from all forms of contact because nothing good can come of this If you do not already have one, seek a licensed professional psychologist/therapist Take the space and time to learn from it all, process it Don't assume worst of others going forward or allow yourself to be paralyzed by experience.
How long were you guys broken up for? Did you technically do anything wrong? No. But if it was a short time I can see why he’s hurt. He shouldn’t be, but I get it. Did it come out like you were bragging about it? Or rubbing it in his face?
Okay, but he still doesn’t get to pressure her to do something that will most likely (in HER case, at least) lead to even more devastation. She’s never going to forgive her husband for it either.
Lol there is no such law here. That is just silly. They’re not even legally married ?
just to add another viewpoint, your husband is out of his mind. tell him to sit the fuck down
It sounds like you haven't been dating that long.
Keep the friend. Dump the girl.
Time for the Come to Jesus talk about if she wants to stay married.
You’re fretting over a low value girl
That said in the future you MUST move quicker, waiting half a year to make a move is far too long
„Ready”…. Well, that’s not his body
Rome was not built in a day.
I had to laugh at myself when I read that, my history mind told me “but you damn near pulled a Nero on it”
It really was a huge relief to just let it go and admit both to myself and my wife that everything has been blah… Just letting it out there in the air seemed to change so much. IDK if I really understand it yet, but it happen.
Bro she can say all the excuses about how you’re emotionally available. It don’t matter. She cheated and she’ll cheat again if you don’t leave her. It’ll be hot but please leave her.
Also for your next relationship I’d advise not letting her get so close to male friends or have no male friends at all because this always happens as a consequence since the guy always wants her.
Leave her. Don’t give her another chance she doesn’t deserve it. She destroyed your 3 years. Don’t let this slide. It’s cheating Fgs it’s the worst thing you can do to someone. Cheaters never respect you if you give them a second chance and she will do this to you again. Next time she will be extra secretive you won’t even know.
She talked behind your back to this guy and mocks your mum. Someone like that is lying to you when they say they still love you and want you.
She is just scared of losing you now and good. She deserves it. Your gf don’t deserve you. Leave her or face the harsh consequences.
You’ll get over her knowing you left trash
Dude is just weak
Please leave. His pleasure was more important to him than you. He cared more about having anal sex than you.
Someone that loves you stops right away, gets turned off by your pain and years and starts hugging you while asking you if you're okay.
Thinking things like ‘crazy in the head, crazy in bed’ is also so gross and makes it sounds like you put people in boxes
Congratulations!! You’ve done something amazing and it sounds like, despite so little help from your husband, your coping pretty fucking well even with a colicky little one and some pretty nasty healing going on. Your brother sounds great by the way. My last baby was nearly 9 years ago so my hormones are nice and calm and I have to say I’m wondering if I can start divorce proceedings on your behalf….. that being said. Some men totally freak out when baby arrives, they have all these big emotions and fears, don’t know how to process them at all and instead lash out and behave APPALLINGLY. I don’t why they do this but I have seen it before. I have seen them be called out by their mums, admit their fear and do a complete about face and turn into wonderful dads. I have also seen them refuse to accept that they are are fault/have feelings/could ever possibly be wrong or have feelings and destroy their marriages in a few short weeks. I don’t know your husband so can’t say if he’s in either of these camps or if he’s just a common house and garden AH. Do you have a MiL you can call on to come slap some sense into her son? Maybe ask him to post his side of the story to AITA and sit back and watch him get torn apart….
There's nothing to apologize for. You can't choose to be attracted to her any more than she can choose not to be attracted to you
Great response. To BF – if the incident hadn’t happened, I think you should be willing to consider giving gifts, whatever is culturally appropriate, to her family. When you marry, it’s just just her as an individual, it is also her culture and her family you are embracing. Being willing to do things important to her culture and family that seem strange, meaningless, silly to you is part and parcel of loving her, if that’s what she wants. However her Dad spitting on you is obviously a terrible thing and he’s going to need to apologize first. Can you get past it enough to accept his apology and do some of the cultural things? That’s a key question. You may still harbor anger towards him and he may mistrust you, but those are things possible to get past (or live with) in in-laws. To the gf: your Dad was way out of bounds by spitting on your bf. You have to insist he apologizes or makes amends somehow. This may be easier if your bf is willing to follow some of your cultural customs afterwards and they know this in advance.
The issue is with your uncle!..He is the one choosing and liking young girls!
You should feel disgusted and call him out on his track records!.
Dude, life is on easy mode for many pretty, brilliant women.
You gotta work on your own attitude and know that nothing is handed to you, and take pride in your own success. It's inherently going to be different for you.
Just don't be miserable then life will certainly shit on you
Write the letter, but never send it. Because the bridges to op's ex are burned. She won't care if he “still loves him” or that he actually cheated. And if she cares she will probably hate him even more and won't give him the relief from the guilt he is looking for.
You want her to change her name, but you don't want her son to? Like, you just want the child to be the only one who doesn't get your name? Why are the father's feelings more important to you than your actual fiancee's, considering you're marrying HER, and her son is about to be joining YOUR family?
Final question: have you asked the child? The one who will have to live with either changing his name or being the only one in the family without your name, what HE wants? Because in the hierarchy of Who's Feelings About This Matter, his are probably the highest, followed by your fiancee, and THEN the father.
she gave me an ultimatum either I act normal during our family vacation trip or she’s breaking up with me.
My suggestion is to act like yourself and let her carry out her ultimatum. She is a walking red flag and a lot of work. The question for you is, Is this how you want to live your life?
Have you asked her why she's telling you this stuff?
It's a massive mistake to think that getting in a relationship is going to fix your life or give you something to find meaning in. Keep looking for meaning outside of your relationship search also.