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Whitney, 28 y.o.
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Date: October 3, 2022
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Tell him everything you just said here. It sounds to me like he is making the best of a bad situation. Letting him know it's okay to be sad and disappointed with them and that you will be there to lean on is something. It doesn't sound “manly” by some standards but I know myself and plenty of other men will definitely admit to feeling better when their significant other just holds them. It is reassuring in a tough world.
Your best friends are hopefully not connected to the person who slept with your husband. It’s naked for me to think people have your best interest at heart of they’re ignoring your feelings.
It was a totally valid and healthy response to the lack of baby to stop trying with your husband, subjecting yourself to the anxiety and disappointment. It is also normal to feel betrayed he slept with someone a week after surprising you with the request to separate.
Do you have more casual friends who you could reach out to for socialization and support? People you may have lost touch with who might have mom advice? You need a new Team You as you plan for this baby, coparenting, and dating your coworker (or others when/if you’re ready).