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, 25 y.o.
Location: United States
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Date: September 18, 2022
Can you walk me through a day in your life as a stay at home mum?
The only insight I can give you is to think very carefully about what a future looks like with this man, and that you definitely need to talk about this- the situation and his continued reaction to it- and fully resolve it.
What he has demonstrated to you is that he isn't a safe partner when things aren't great, in so many ways:
So let's say he was impacted by this situation (you were clear he isn't, but let's pretend. Even then, his reaction is the worst way to handle it. In an emergency, you need a partner who focuses on fixing the problem- who do we call, what paperwork do you need, I'm sure we will get it sorted out, let's remain calm- and then after the situation is assessed, then there can be feelings, reflection, and even some anger. Your boyfriend was unhelpful and made the situation worse. As you pointed out, he isn't impacted by this, so he was just using this opportunity to taunt you and make you more stressed out while you tried to resolve it. He could have simply left the room if he couldn't think of any way to be helpful. He is now still mad at you, and while he has no right to be, even if he did this isn't a healthy way to argue/express anger. Ignoring you and being short with you, long after the “heat of the moment” is destructive, keeps you on edge, and punishes you. It clearly is punishing you since you are on here being confused about what you did wrong. Be very clear that he knows what he is doing. He wants you to feel ashamed and confused, and he is waiting you out so you will apologize and he doesn't have to discuss his own behavior. He taunted you while you were in a really stressful situation. Can you even get passed that?
People make mistakes, and their partner should be working through that stuff with them, not putting them down and making it worse. This didn't impact him at all, beyond being in the same space as you as you worked it out. Can you imagine going through the many mistakes of life with this man? Trust me, more mistakes will be made because we all make them- locked out of the house, left the headlights on in the car and the battery dies, booked the wrong days on a vacation, forgot to add a date to your calendar- and all of these things can be sorted without argument and without shame. My partner and I deal with these things as a team, maybe an eye roll, definitely a joke later once the situation is fixed, but never like how your boyfriend treated you.
and now you know where she stood…
So my top voted comment is about anal rape, courtesy of the last thread lol
I'm so glad you've got people to rally around you, Grace is a real G and I'm glad you're bringing backup to pick up your things.
This might take a long time to process fully. Take your time. If you have access to therapy, please utilize it. I'm also super proud you went to the ER, that must've been all sorts of awful.
Take care, ignore the trolls, we're rooting for you ?
Nice of the friend to tell you what happened, even sending video. However, I kinda got the impression that she wasn't being magnanimous in this situation. I got the impression that she did all this with ulterior motives.
I mean… her calling later and wanting to come support you, offering comfort. Yes, a totally decent thing to do and I could always just be a suspicious jerk, but yeah. Somehow I don't think she was trying to be nice.
Well the bigger issue is, you'd go to the wedding, and still be alone. As if your parents or brother or any other family member will happy to see you, this is all an orchestrated act by them to look 'perfect'. And God forbid you bring up your graduation, you'll be grandstanding the wedding! ?
OP, it's time to think long and hot about going low or no contact with these people. They don't love or care enough about you, it's time to care about yourself and leave them behind
Where did you get that OP is asexual?