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Date: September 23, 2022
AmateurPub
You both are terrible human beings and I‘m glad he got rid of you.
Me and my wife and I have had an open phone policy for a lot of our lives. That said, when you first start doing this, it is extremely necessary to tell any friends and such you are doing it. It was a pretty big mistake for him to not tell you. I can see why it eroded so much trust. It can be difficult knowing every friend I have has to be ok with or friends with my wife but it's a truth I open with to all my friends. He should be to if that is the path he wants to take. Although in all fairness I would date someone for atleast 6 months to a year before considering doing this myself. Fair time for anyone I know to get to know them a bit and decide what they will or won't send me through any chat communications.
How do you “decide” your want a kid? If I don't like broccoli I can't all the sudden decide I want a whole head for lunch. I could suck it up and eat it but I'd be miserable
Same. But I also enjoy disaster scenario stories. I guess I would approach this by asking relevant questions to determine if it's a healthy interest or unhealthy obsession.
He wants you to lose weight but doesn't have the balls to say that so he said this instead
with me its more on communication and trust, i have done things that have broken his trust so many times, communication is something I think i am improving in, like letting him know if i have pre existing plans, where im going if im going out, etc but because I have broken his trust in terms of talking to my friends that have hurt him and our relationship, and such it is understandable how it would be hot for him to continue this, although Im not sure what big change I can do to improve his trust, I know I haven't done anything recently nor have I upset him recently. A big thing he mentions is me not taking any sacrifice, although Im not exactly sure what sacrifices needs to be taken, his sacrifices has been going on campus with me early when his classes started hours later, i have mentioned to him going to his house just to spend time with him as a sacrifice but he says it doesnt count as I should be in school anyways, so my family doesnt know that Im actually spending time with him
Maybe don't lie.l when giving your rating. You dated him for 3 months and known him for how long? Are you bad at reading characters? Assholes don't just reveal themselves after 3 months. Despite knowing him for x amount of months/years you still rated his personality a 9 or 10 but because he didnt think highly of you its a problem now. Use it as constructive criticism. Lots of people nowadays barely have a personality rating of a 3/10. 6 is stellar in my books. 7 for looks you obviously look great. Why let this bother you? If it's so detrimental, its obvious what you should do
It’s what people in healthy relationships do. It was sad when I realized my ex talked more shit about me than good.
This is why I give up on dating
The brutal facts are that:
A relationship cannot happen if one of the two people wants to leave the relationship. Even if you could miraculously fix all shortcomings and issues – if she doesn't want to, there is no more relationship.
Feelings don't magically come back, especially if they were trampled out. Just like you can't magically stop being in love with her, she can't magically make herself fall in love with you again.
It's proven that women tend to leave relationships only once they have really and truly checked out and all hope is lost. They usually try to fix things before that, so that leaving really means that it is over.
Please think of a relationship like a vase. Whenever you argued, whenever you drifted apart – no matter who was at fault – the vase got knocked over. Slowly, more and more cracks formed and pieces broke off.
Some people, like you, want to put the work in to glue the vase back together. They can rebuild trust and rekindle feelings. Sure, the repaired vase will always still show the cracks where it was glued back together, but to these people, the fixed vase is something they are proud of – it's something they worked hot on, something that is truly theirs and which has stood the test of many challenges.
But there are also people to whom a vase, once it has reached a certain state of damage, doesn't work anymore. Even if the vase would be glued back together, they don't trust it to be stable anymore and hold water. On top of that, seeing the cracks causes them to remember the situations which caused them; it is a source of bad memories and anxiety to them now. To these people, happiness with such a damaged vase can't be re-grown; too much has happened. These people would rather start over with a new vase, which doesn't come with bad memories and trust issues.
Your wife has decided that your shared vase is too broken and that she doesn't want it anymore. No matter how much effort you put in to glue it back together – you can't make the cracks invisible. It will never be like it once was and to your wife, there was too much damage. The vase she once loved is no more. And there is nothing you can do to change that – she wishes to put it away.
Agree on your brother being an asshole in this situation but plenty of reasons not to like Ronaldo. Most importantly there's the rape case from 2009 but also he just comes across as a massive narcissist and not much of a team player (e.g. recent interview with Piers Morgan over Man Utd).
Still understand why people like him though as he is one of the greatest footballers of all time, and doesn't affect the fact that your brother should apologise
If she’s not a very good girlfriend. But I feel like there’s a lot of information being left out so she’s bringing an ultimatum. She’s probably really frustrated. And I don’t know what your situation has been like up till now. Do what you need to do for yourself it is always the best policy when you’re dating. You’re not married to her you don’t have children just do what you need to do for yourself.
I would this agree. All this implies that OPs husband is some kind of prize and, well, he’s not.
Time to fake a pregnancy!
Just kidding. When does your lease end? I think sally should talk to Dan about what their ultimate goals are – it sounds like them moving in wasn’t meant to be permanent to begin with. This problem might solve itself.
But also…I find myself relating to Riley in a way and I feel for her. I do not always know how to not say awkward things, and I have a hot time stopping talking even though I know I need to. But I also think that Sally should tell Riley what makes her uncomfortable. For neurodivergent people like myself, I really don’t know unless you tell me. But when I am told, I do my utmost to honor that.
I had a roommate who was good about telling me when she needed some quiet time and it was easy to respect when I knew her needs. Riley might function similarly.
She married someone within a week of knowing him purely for money and is now cheating on him behind his back (you think you're the first?). What on earth makes you think this is someone that will be good to bring into your life and the life of your kid?
Think with your head, not your dick.
I’ll leave off the moral judgment, but you really do need to find a lifestyle and partner which is compatible with your sexual needs.
If you’ve cheated on everyone, maybe you shouldn’t be monogamous.
As someone who has been in a long term relationship similar to this one, I guarantee you OP contributed to her mental breakdown. Look at the way he paints her as mentally unstable instead of recognizing any of the pain he has caused her.
Get fucked, mate.
No contact is needed when someone isn't over it, or people are being toxic, or something like that. If you see any signs of that, go full NC. Otherwise, be friends
Creepy joke in the context of you being a virgin…like a husband might make this joke with his wife as some kind of saucy banter – It would make me feel uncomfortable. It was a weird joke. And joking about rape isn’t something most girls find hilarious?
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Legally, child custody and support can be handled in divorce court but the laws will be the same whether married or unmarried, so that's not important. If the couple hasn't bought any furniture, appliances, vehicles, or real estate during their relationship, sure, a breakup is easier. Once you've invested in shared items then suddenly you find yourself fighting over whether it matters whose money went toward paying whose car payments, who made the down payment on the home even though the other made most of the mortgage payments, etc. Dividing shared bank accounts, recourse for if the other person drains the bank account before ending the relationship, dividing long term investments, these are things that have to be dealt with in civil court if family court is not an option through divorce, and civil courts will have different rules.
The issue isn't that a couple can't agree on who owns what, it's typically that those agreements are rarely documented in valid legal contracts and seem to go out the window in the heat of the breakup.
I don't know any state that includes prior assets as community property. States typically give to each spouse what belonged to them before the marriage, if they didn't mix it up in marital funds, any inheritances or personal injury judgments under the same condition, and then they divide everything earned and purchased during the course of the marriage. They also adjust depending on whether one spouse sacrificed their career to support the career prospects of the other and things like that, but there are equations in the law for those too.
Whereas if you break up and your SO drains your joint bank accounts, there's nothing a civil court will do to return that money to you, unlike in a divorce court where it will be included as an asset to be divided equally regardless of whether it's been taken out of the bank by one spouse.
I'll be your new sister. And I need to tell you: don't ever be ashamed or embarassed of your past. Your 'number' is similar to what a LOT of women have. And frankly it sounds like those experiences made you hella strong as a person – be proud of that experience!
Walk away and have the college experience for yourself and find someone who will truly be your one and not someone who wants to find how many holes his pee pee can fit in.
Has he tried other ways of getting you off besides penetration? Because for most girls that ain’t it.
You might not have a “g spot”, that’s normal.
I just read a reply of yours: if he wants it to be purely him, make him earn it. Fingers, oral, he can stimulate you himself, and if he doesn’t want to put in that effort, it’s on him, not you.
You need to run and never look back.
How come?
Honestly, that's kind of a red flag. She didn't “abandon” him, I mean she was gone what two or three days? Unless they had problems before that, I don't think going on a vacation without your spouse is really a reason to get divorced, unless he thought she was cheating on him or something or like I said had problems before that.
Maybe do I need to agreed with him more often even when I really don't want to ?
Nope, that's not how you should deal with the situation, especially because it's painful for you. Even if it wasn't, that's a big nope and a serious ?
You need to take a breath and think if the relationship is worth. It doesn't seem to be looking from the outside. But that's something you need to decide.
And I can honestly I love the guy
Obviously you don't. You love the fact that he provided you with children and supports you and them. You love the things he provides, but you don't love him. He could be replaced by an ATM machine.
All he would need to do is stick the pill packet in the microwave.
Get a life
She's just low empathy and there's no point in explaining it. I've had an abortion and I can't stand people like this — I was one of the people saddled with “I killed my child,” because it turns out that pregnancy hormones cause you to, you know, consider that clump of cells your child. Kind of gives you the imperative to take care of it when it's born. And for a potential father, it is not difficult to imagine the emotions that could be stirred up, hormones or not.
I was really naive when I had mine. It was the right decision for a number of reasons, including the father being someone absolutely unsafe to ever have access to a child. But I consider women who act like it's not a big deal traitors. If I had not been exposed to so many people like this mindlessly parroting rhetoric about how it's just cells etc etc, I'd still have had an abortion, but I would've had some type of counseling set up (and, more importantly, I wouldn't have felt ashamed that it was impacting me so strongly, something I now know is normal). Totally lost at a time I was already escaping that relationship and extremely vulnerable.
I really cannot express how much I dislike these people!
That's a good point. Our friends can be our biggest weakness if all they see is us acting a certain way all of the time, I suppose they just become numb to it after a while
Don’t listen to that woman. I’m a woman too and you both agreed to sex before you ever started drinking. Then both agreed once home. What you didn’t agree to was what happened. Convent can be taken away at any time. Once you said no, get off that’s where the assault happened.
I'm actually joining the Police and graduated with a Masters last October. I work at a supermarket as something to hold me over before starting my career, and it was good work for a student as it's flexible. It does make me feel quite low, as it's a job that is not very prestigious
What exactly are you looking for here? He’s pulled back from a work relationship, he’s engaged. You need to get over it: he didn’t have to give you a ride. You’re an adult and it’s your responsibility to get to and from work.
Idk I’d say the one choosing to ignore a whole coworker they actually have to work with is being more dramatic
Been acquaintances since middle school but we really starting hanging out a lot more in the last ~6 months
Hasn’t had a boyfriend ever but has mentions guys she’s talked to every now and then
I don’t really pay attention to if she’s touching others when we’re all hanging out but I certainly do when it me cause I mean how could I not when my arms being repeatedly tapped
Yeah it’s OP’s fault for not consulting his crystal ball /s
Don’t you dare stay my man.
You were out working overtime to provide for her and your kid and she’s out there partying like a 18 year old getting fucked by some dude. FUCK THAT. Get angry and fucking leave.
Kick him out. Immediately. He sounds awful and I don’t trust him around your dogs. I fear for your dogs’ safety when you aren’t there.
He tolerated the dogs until he got what he wanted. But this is your home. He has got to go. Please. I beg you. If he stays, this will not end well.
Please update.
And I bet she’d flip out if you did the same
Omg at first I was like eh it’s a mustache but OMG no that’s seriously like a creep mustache.
Off to the gyn with you.
There’s no reason anyone should be suffering from PMS these days. There’s a lot they can do to help.
I’m going to be blunt.
You are 24 years old. You don’t need a husband. You need to get some life and relationship experience to show you what you actually want in life and relationships.
If I had married the guy I though my I’d marry at 24, I’d be divorced.
its interesting that you basically equate being the breadwinner to “the household is yours.” Considering you're talking about a traditional marriage, would that not mean that she'd be responsible for everything within the household aside from payment and the childrearing? Does that not equate to being responsible for half (or more) of the functions within the family? Whether you're solely financially responsible or not, is marriage not still a partnership?
Honestly, it sounds like you dont truly want the same things but you're relenting to her desires and this whole name thing is just a way for you to stick it to her. You acknowledge that identity is important yet completely dismiss it.
So she wants to blast the most private and painful time of your whole life out to god and all? For what?? To mark her territory? To make this the hill she wants to die on is just nuts.
She either doesn't get you or doesn't respect you.
There's a couple issues with this:
1) Your friend offered to do a boudoir shoot with your wife
2) She accepted the offer without discussing it with you or being aware you wouldn't be comfortable with a mutual friend seeing her in that state of dress.
1) Was already inappropriate, and I feel like with 2) Your wife should've known you well enough to know if you'd be comfortable with that.
I don’t know how to bring it up in a way that will not make her feel bad.
Honestly, she should feel bad because at best, she was thoughtless and messy with boundaries and got you a gift you absolutely will never enjoy seeing.
That said, you need to talk to her, not reddit and try to understand wtf she was thinking.
you are disgusting. for you to reciprocate a teenagers feelings? were you, no, are you in your right mind? you're a groomer and even had a CHILD with a CHILD.
Probably just jackhammering
This changes from country to country – and you said that mother is from another country. In my country, if you knock up a woman and do not marry them, you can be forced to marry her if you don’t want to go to jail or killed by their parents or other relatives. So, I sincerely hope the woman is not from my country.
Are you an idiot? Do whatever the hell you want doesn’t make you a good person tho.
…just go. He’s not worth this headache. You’re an independent person who can eat a whole pizza without justification if you want to whenever you want to.
I bet this makes him feel really special, that he is second place to a cat in your heart despite being your husband. That sucks!
Literally i don't know how you type that out so confidently. Sister was interested in him, that's what dates signify. Her not fucking him on the first date doesn't make it any less valid. In op's mind sex=mine/taken. Such a screwed up way of thinking.
Definitely, 110% a you problem
Actually yes, you will. Enjoy your evening.
Going full stupid is the guy who booked a flight to Sydney MN instead of Sydney Australia.
This? She’d be within her rights to leave him. This isn’t stupid, this is an appalling lack of maturity and judgment.
Going full stupid is the guy who booked a flight to Sydney MN instead of Sydney Australia.
This? She’d be within her rights to leave him. This isn’t stupid, this is an appalling lack of maturity and judgment.
Going full stupid is the guy who booked a flight to Sydney MN instead of Sydney Australia.
This? She’d be within her rights to leave him. This isn’t stupid, this is an appalling lack of maturity and judgment.
Uh this reads like a creative writing exercise in edging homoerotic experiences
Leave while you can.
It breaks my heart, but I think you're right. Man, we worked so hot for this and we both grew so much. I really thought that this was it, that this would be my person, that we could concur any issue. And just like that… alone again.