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Date: October 3, 2022
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Right, thanks 🙂 It doesn't really have an impact on our relationship right now, but it might have in the future. It's complicated, I'll have to think about it. But still, thanks. I needed a more objective view on all this
“Hey are you a psychopath?”
“Nah.”
“Oh, ok.”
What measure is he even using? Intelligence is extremely very hot to quantify but I've noticed a lot if men have stopped using IQ (which has always been problematic) since women surpassed men in 2012.
It was almost funny how there was a sudden deluge of articles and stories talking about how IQ wasn't the best measurement of intelligence and how it doesn't give a full picture once men could no longer use it to claim superiority.
Age gaps like this are an issue, and it’s not down to whether you “have an issue” with them or not. They’re an issue because it shows there’s a problem with the much-older partner. If you feel you prefer more mature men, simply date a more mature man your own age. From the sounds of it, should be an easy find.
J. Edna Hoover
Man, she's trying to decide how important the decision is to you before pressing the issue. That's actually a good thing.
If she came straight out and said “would you use sage instead?”, would you? Would you be resentful?
This all seems a little crazy to me.
I appreciate you breaking this down. Honestly – I think it’s a bit of option 2 and 3. I like our life together and I just don’t want it to change is all. I also don’t want anyone bothering her, etc.
But it’s not love it’s an escape for a shit marriage. She now she did wrong in the way she ended things. She’s in denial that she on a sinking ship. She doesn’t seem to understand her stats are they are already so low and the chance of her repeating this is tripled. While you may have examples of the exception where it’s happily ever after, this isn’t it. Also I’d ask you to go and talk the husband and see if they don’t ever question or have ever questioned if their woman has been unfaithful. We don’t know much about to kids but just because mum is happy doesn’t mean the Kids’ll be once time has passed. That stats show that kids from broken homes are already at a disadvantage in loads of areas. Please don’t come here and say that cheating is good if it results in happiness because there can’t ever really be happiness in lying and cheating, unless your in denial or delusional like op is
*Advise: * Tell your wife! If there is a fall out between you and this friend, you don’t want it hanging over your head. You want to dumb it down, or whatever, but tell her.
As for the cheating part, it’s actually on you to tell us. You “cuddled” with another woman. Was there an emotional attachment? Was there any intention to go further? We’re you in the mindset that you are just doing this to comfort her and then leave with no emotions tied? You literally can’t ask Redditors if it’s cheating. We weren’t there and we don’t really know the story, the feelings, the intentions/motives behind it all.
Well she sees him as a friend, but was once almost in love with him, she just wants to see if he changed and knows what he wants. So my question would be, when would it be considered “too long?”
Any relationship you will ever be in, will have this feeling. It will have this phase. This is where the real love begins.
Women get dressed up when they go out with friends.
You can’t clog the toilet and then demand respect for doing so. A household is a democracy, not a Nat Geo documentary on lions. You don’t live in his house, he lives alongside all of you.
Yeah I shared a room with a colleague (of the same sex) when I was a carer and we took a disabled client away for a night to visit family. Carers shared when taking them on holiday too. But it was the client who was paying for it and that was fine with me. They wouldn't expect it if it was carers of the opposite sex. And I really don't think I'd be expected to share at all now I'm in the civil service but definitely not with someone of the opposite sex.
Get the paternity test very soon. Because if this turns out to be your baby all is well. If not, deal with the reality and decide together. Adoption is a loving solution.
The two of you sound like you’re not good communicators. So maybe just be direct at this point and ask him if he really sees it going anywhere
I get that you’re used to joking around with your friend like that. I really do. But at the end of the day, your felt doesn’t feel comfortable with those kind of jokes. I feel like you should tell your friend not to do it anymore cus it makes your wife uncomfortable. Then you’ll see what your friend does but you should reassure your wife
I'm so sorry. Not sure how you will return to normal. I guess that ship has sailed. For me it would be over. I won't put myself through wondering what he's doing when I'm not next to him.
What I would do is put a damn password on the computer. I would want him to seek help because even though we would be done, my kid would be spending time with him, and the idea that they could witness something is alarming.
Man I understand people having strong beliefs but WHY would someone make a baby for a rapist? Why put yourself through that. It's a friggin clump of cells that's going to destroy your wife's mental health and possibly your marriage. Idk but I wish you the best.
Guess I’ll go back to florida and take care of my grandma that’s my only option
She’d do well to consider that her clinginess (is that a word? Clingitude? I dunno) is stifling and will make anyone resentful.
Jesus christ. It's risky and it's complicated but your advice to go visit a sub dedicated to people hating their children is horrible advice. Hey! You're anxious about getting married? That's not normal. You should go dig around deadbedrooms for a few weeks and then make your decision.
Like, I get it. Kids aren't for you. That's fine, no judgement. But maybe don't give people advice on that topic if you're just gonna steer them towards shit that confirms your opinion.