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make me happy [1 tokens remaining]
Date: October 4, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
make me happy [1 tokens remaining]
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Yeah. You both escalate un-necessarily here. It's just a bad interaction.
When she asked was more like “do you want to know how I'm actually doing or is this one of those polite pleasantries?”
She could have just picked one instead of making it dramatic & attention seeking.
Then you, instead of taking her comments as an attack, could have ignored her weirdness and said something non committal & supportive.
“Oh, sounds like you've been productive anyway though. Are you staying low key, or you want to hang out later”
If this was a roleplaying game like you BOTH botched your charisma rolls.
Tell him your pregnant.
You need to quickly learn to communicate in your relationship.
You need to tell him what is your expectations.
If you wanted him to be with you that night, you should have told him that you wanted him to be with you. A nice relaxing movie night where you can cuddle with him, the night before your birthday.
If you going into the relationship with the mindset, if it was me, I would have done this without being told, you will constantly be disappointed.
Stop with the immature mind games.
If you want to date an adult then you need to learn to communicate clearly.
This problem could have easily been avoided if you just told him what you wanted from him.
You could only take half from that joint account into your own. But you would need to talk to a lawyer.
Any advice on moving past it bc I still really like her
I mean if she was honest from the start I wouldn’t have been
You've gotten too old for him and actually have expectations for the future of the relationship.
So he needs to move on to the next college student.
Before you leave, try to delete the film from his computer, phone, cloud, etc. I don’t know anything about IT but maybe ask in an IT sub to get advice on seeing if he’s uploaded it anywhere. He may have also emailed it to himself. Delete it from however you originally sent it to him. Best of luck.
I've got a relative who's similar.
Mid 20s, she does work in a low stress government job but that's about it.
Still lives with her parents who cook and clean for her as well as run all her errands, sort out all her finances/bills etc as she has 'anxiety' and can't do any of it herself. Nearly has a panic attack when she has to make any sort of decision for herself and gets uncomfortable and stressed out if she's away from her parents for more than a couple of nights. Never had a romantic relationship and I don't think she ever will.
Enmeshed families, eh.
You have to talk to your partner directly about what you want your collective life to look like. If you’re afraid of the conversation for whatever reason, consider working with a relationship therapist. You may need only one or two sessions.
Even the healthiest relationships aren’t perfect. Reach out to a counselor is like working with a mechanic on your car. It’s maintenance and realignment.
It is pretty much a male-dominated hobby, however, you do have a handful of females, a lot of them get into it, because their husband and her boyfriend got into it, there are some people where their entire family, kids included are certified ham, radio operators
You can be her friend without being so involved in her dating life… I mean if you want to. This judgement and frustration with her for not “listening” to your wisdom doesn't make it sound like you like her much. She sounds less like a ho and more like someone with incredibly low self esteem who is desperate to be liked. No she's not going to listen to you, she's not coming from a rational place when she's making these choices. You can tell her nothing is going to change if she doesn't and encourage her to go to therapy and also say “i don't want to hear about these things so much anymore.”
There's no board of relationships that defines whether or not porn is cheating.
Most men, and quite a few women, watch some porn sometimes. Most people don't consider it cheating. You're not obligated to stay, but you'll have a difficult time finding a partner who never looks at any kind of erotica because they're not numerous and they have no reason to hang out together.
Then why do so much drama with me? When I tried to cut him off he wouldn't accept it and became upset and sad. He wouldn't stop talking to me and would constantly say hello and look distraught with our fall out. Even after meeting her, he would keep staring at me , and then when I took him back, he became happy and normal. Otherwise he couldn't sit and study and would keep looking back at me while leaving.
Why do so much drama if he always liked her?
The only thing he said was “how do you know I’m cheating on you”. He did not say he wasn’t cheating on me. That was very telling.
Not once did he try to fix things or at least say something to win me back but instead, he said divorcing him will hurt my child in the future. That I’m taking his happiness from him. By knowing her father and mother are not together.
He even said he did not care about me. He says I don’t do anything in our house while he works 6 days a week. I make him dinner every night so he comes home to a meal, meal prep for him for his work week, treat him like my king, and he says he does not give a damn about me. Why did he not reveal that before we got married and had a child? Maybe he just wanted to give his parents a grandchild. I can never truly understand.
After my live-in boyfriend of 6 years had an affair, I couldn't watch anything that had an unfaithful partner in it. I'd get irrationally angry and start yelling at the television. I still get pissed when a character I'm watching has an affair or gets cheated on.
It happens. And I'd he discovered the affair live on a public forum. The betrayal probably feels worse. I'm happy all my heartbreak happened before social media.
I wouldn't worry about it, but if you're prone to a wandering eye, well, that could be a problem
From my POV the only time I’ve seen a open marriage work is when it starts from the very beginning. I think opening the a marriage would be a fast track to divorce and having wasted 12 years of marriage. Instead you could do marriage counseling and try and work on improving the relationship. Opening the relationship would be the way to go if you gave up.
I do the same.
I mean, he's 40 and his mommy was cleaning his room. He weighs 300 pounds but wants to live on frozen pizza. This man is not a reasonable adult. Is this really who you want to build a life with?
I should say that I don’t think she should be deciding this for you or setting limits in the future, but she didn’t want to be in a long-distance relationship, and now she is. You very clearly do not want to be in New York or that far away from your family, and I bet she feels like she doesn’t matter to you. If you want your home to be with your family, move back and let her go so she can find someone who wants to build a life with her.
Yes, if he was yelling so often it got you evicted? Christ girl. Also, if he is going to dump you because he is so insecure? Yikes. Super red flags.
Since you’re financially comfortable and clearly on different pages of “wanting” children… I highly recommend individual and couples therapy.
Again, I’m not reading his mind. I read the post.
definitely not her bf… you are a side piece that pays for food
And I already said OP was also pressured to marry their attacker, which happens all the time to sexual assault victims in conservative settings.
So I did read the rest of the quote, which is equally tone-deaf and makes it seem like OP went and did all of that at their pleasure.
This guy is an ass. Stop dating him – save yourself oceans of heartache. If he’s this punitive and withholding after just a few weeks – he’s only going to get worse.
Worst part? He’s convinced you you actually did something wrong. You didn’t.
Don’t reach out to him & tell him you’re done if he reaches out to you.
Ugh.
You are not wrong for breaking up with her. She took away your choice.
Yes, it's common, and it creates a health risk for you and for any future partner you may have. If YOU choose not to risk getting it, it's YOUR choice. She took that choice away from you.
She is dishonest. If she is ready to be intimate with you, she should be ready to disclose anything that she could spread to you. It doesn't matter WHAT.
Counseling/therapy. But ya, getting jealous of ur brother is weird.
I searched on Reddit for some experiences of parents with only one kid as well as of only kids, and came away with a whole spectrum of experiences, from resentful and lonely only children who wished they had a sibling, to happy only children who were glad not to have to share their parents' time and resources, to sibling children who were resentful of their siblings and parents. Just goes to show that there's all sorts.
She had to have known that her parents are bigots, I doubt their reaction was a shock to her. It sounds more like she was intentionally provoking her asshole parents, and putting everyone in an uncomfortable situation on purpose. She sounds very young and immature.
I’m sorry. That many unsent messages and him lying about it is a huge red flag. Suspicious that she can’t remember either the joke or claims to never have seen unseen messages.
Your SO shouldn’t be sneaking around and lying. If they were just friendly for the kids it should also involve you and be no issue to discuss.
You said it yourself, you “can’t get over the fact that he could sleep with someone so quickly”. That in itself is reason enough not to restart things. You shouldn’t have to convince someone to be in a relationship with you. Either they’re sure about you or they’re not. Starting fresh is just semantics. It’s not having to take responsibility for how his actions made you feel. It doesn’t matter that you were apart. You see it as a reflection of his feelings for you and your relationship. And I’d agree with you.
If I were you, I wouldn’t go back. Listen to the way your body feels. Anxious, upset, confused. You need a partner that doesn’t make you doubt their feelings for you. You can’t find that if you’re wasting your time on the wrong person.