Follow the advice on cameras and removing valuable stuff AND departing for the 30 days after you file an eviction. As you’re driving away, call her parents and let them know what’s happened. You do not owe them an explanation.
Since it’s Christmas, give her $4000 and a dog/puppy/cat/kitten/distraction that demands attention/affection. Write a letter saying the $ is for an apartment and whatever else you’d like to say to her. It’s up to her how she is to spend the $ after that. Basically build a safety net without you in it for her to fall away in.
Go no contact and be prepared to get a restraining order.
You’re out of options. Do something or lose your sanity.
If not married, I would set a goal ex. 15% of incomes and map out what that looks like. From their work naked and hold each other accountable. Once married or moved in together combine household incomes to meet goals. Good luck
If you told him your number and it's high and he still wants to be in a relationship with you you probably need to keep everything else to yourself because most men wouldn't accept a high body count so you found a very rare man that would actually accept that from you so you probably need to hold on to him for dear life because you're probably won't find another guy like him again
Dude she doesnt respect you or your opinion at all, she wants you to save for the future well she runs around with her friends and partys up life. She said she wouldnt go on the trip then says fuck you im gonna go and not tell you till i plan every thing. Yea people need to have a life outside their relationship but she is showing you that her word means nothing and she goes against it. Doesnt seem like a partner worth building a life with if they dont keep their word. Your right to be annoyed with the trip
You barely know each other, the long distance part doesnt count.
But … bunch of studies show that if you want a healthy relationship than its a good idea to start it early and with a relatively low dick count.
So if everything is good (common goals, great sexlife, near zero drama/arguments etc) and you live! together for a couple of months than its not a bad idea considering marriage.
Yes you are 20 but ask any woman over 30 … they would kill for a guy who is willing to marry them. Your 20s will be gone sooner than you think.
It really varies. I never date people dearly holding on to pics of their exes or hang out with their exes. I have never had any ex issues in my relationships.
My friend has a gf who is still best friends with her ex. He doesn't care whether she keeps the pictures or not. He has not had any ex issues either.
I do think it is courteous to remove all intimate pictures though.
Yeah, texting all the time is just unhealthy. You clearly don’t have any reason to be insecure, from what I read it sounds like he puts the effort in, texting you goodnight and good morning and listening to your concerns and face timing you more often.
Oh Yeesh, wait he goes along with it? Okay okay there is clearly no respect whatsoever for you, how many times have you talked to him about this I mean considering this isn’t the 1st friend this has happened with shows he just doesn’t care and seems slightly immature himself, most men don’t want to disrespect the person they claim to love
I think you need to figure out what your boundaries are as far as what constitutes cheating for you, and you need to communicate this clearly to him. Let him know how you feel about wanting to explore together. If he’s not capable of having that discussion then you have a whole other problem on your hands
He wants you to stay and put with with his crap – he doesn't want to actually work on anything.
All of what you're saying is massive red flags for an abusive relationship so I do think you need to do what you know you need to do and be safe doing it.
I think your overthinking this. I don't think there's a limit on ot unless it's in a union contract somewhere. I wouldn't think a company would let lift truck operator go to far on ot as it might be a safety hazard. Sounds like your schedules aren't doing you any good for sure.
What Dave said was inappropriate. If he said it like “Wow, she seems like she’s transgressing a lot of behavioral norms around flirtation and fidelity. I wonder if that’s a result a traumatic past?” He might be forgiven. But he didn’t, did he?
You get to make this choice. Dave’s revealed himself as someone who you find detestable. You get to decide if you’d rather keep him as a friend, knowing who he is, or lose him. He’s made his position admirably clear – he doesn’t think he said anything wrong, and if you do, that’s your problem.
So how will you deal with his transgression? Will you just get over it? Or will you drop him as a friend? Those are your only options, and they both seem pretty clear.
Supply some sources. You’re just regurgitating your personal perception. None of the data I’ve seen support these claims. Provide actual data or stop spewing naked air.
That would be cold, don’t you think? If she’s tired of him talking about it, then can’t she find the door to someone who gives less of a fuck about her?
He’s tried, and if he brings it up then dumps her, that’s being unnecessarily shitty to her. Obviously he’s tried close to a dozen times to discuss this if he’s run the gambit on ways to bring it up and is now banned. It’s time to accept she doesn’t want to hear it and instead go the ‘we’ve grown apart’ than ‘you’re fat’ route when they inevitably break up.
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If he says he's working on it and not actually changing anything then he is just trying to train you into accepting his behaviour. He thinks that you will eventually give in because that's what happens in porn
It’s over and done. Take it as a learning experience.
You probably got intimidated by her interest, and didn’t want to put it to the test and possibly blow it. You played it cool, and maybe a little too cool. But that’s not your fault, at 18 we are not thinking optimally yet, and only see things more clearly in time as we get more experience.
This cannot be for real. You guys are not friends. Chick is different and you want her? Really, after witnessing that? Ok. Tell him but you are no different from them!
no worries my guy. if she thought less of you for it, then she's not the kind of person who you should be with, right? it's like if you had any other medical issue, that's how you should think of it – because that's how it is.
a lot of younger people use viagra and not just for ED. it's also used to treat some heart conditions. a surprising amount of people use viagra recreationally, which I personally wouldn't recommend as a professional.
Everyone's bodies change all the time. If she were to lose 80 lbs today, there's no guarantee she'd stay at that weight after you get married, and there's no guarantee that your weight won't change either.
Marriage is not about promising to love and honor and support someone only if they fit a narrow weight range; it really sounds like you're not ready for marriage if you don't understand that.
The age gap is going to cause issues because usually those ages are in completely different places in life. I don't believe in the whole taking time apart. If you can't face a problem together, it'll never work imo. That's what relationships are. You and me against the problem. Time apart always tells me “a nice way to break up”.
I’m going to be painfully honest here. You are using your mental problems as an excuse and instead of working on them you’re just wallowing. I’m not a psychologist but I’ve been to enough to know that if you’re in therapy for 3 years and you don’t have exercises in place to help you through these situations so you don’t spiral or have irrational thoughts, then either you’re not getting help in therapy or you’re not telling the therapist everything or doing the work they are assigning you.
I can’t diagnose you, but based off this post I can tell you have a specific disorder that causes self destruction in your day to day life. And it’s naked to get better but you have to put in the work. It’s easy to be negative all the time and only see negative things, but you need to find 1 positive thing each day and hold on to that positivity and build from it.
We shared extremely common interests, we both had our lives set at the moment, and my kids adored her when we were dating and I couldn’t ask for a better step mom for them. Her parenting style matches mine (which is difficult to find).
I don't know nothing about professional skills and qualifications of any of ppl involved to actually choose who is the best choice.
“By hiring date, I have been here the second longest out of everyone. By months worked, it’s pretty close between me and my partner, because I went to grad school and was gone for 12 months. The other two managers have more recent hire dates and fewer months worked, but one of them has been in management at this company longer than either me or my partner.
The funny thing is that I would not have a naked time finding another job. I get approached by recruiters a few times a year and I am “noteworthy” in our industry because of the work I did in grad school. I’m in charge of a lot of hiring and the labor market is very tight in our industry. One of the reasons that the company is successful is that we have a department that is specialized in something a lot of businesses in our industry need, and it’s my department. I can take my current skill set directly to a client or competitor. I do not have a non-compete in my employment contract.” – OP
Sounds fun, spend money you don’t have for a big wedding you don’t want yet and can’t afford……and after that’s done lucky you OP, you get to support another adult who won’t be working or contributing to your family budget for another 4 years!
I don’t like the way this sounds. It looks like she just wants to get married so that she has ton to pay all expenses and pay to send her to college…why hasn’t she started these studies already anyways? That usually how it goes, you complete your studies, then you get married.
Tell her to slow down, finish her studies then after she’s graduated and has a job you guys can discuss marriage. Besides you have other priorities for the time being. Do not wasted money for a big wedding now when neither of you age ready for it
No matter what he will be hurt but you can't stay in an unhealthy relationship because you don't want to hurt someone. You are hurting yourself instead and your mental health will not get better if you keep giving in to him. It's time to dump him for good.
I think this depends if he is Fire in bed and you're ok with the fact he has very disrespectful views of women and you in particular then just cut off all conversation about another than FWB. But I'm a firm believer in believing people when they show you the real them.
He also drew me a crude graph showing how my attractiveness started at a higher point when I was thinner and wore a full face of makeup – because I actually liked to do makeup at that point in my life because I thought it was fun, made me feel pretty, and was artistic. Also keep in mind by bf and I weren't together at this time – to a downward slope of a line to where I am currently on a lower point on this attractiveness graph because I don't wear makeup and gained 15 pounds
he deserved to enjoy me at my absolute maximum attractiveness.
This is atrociously rude behaviour.
really don't know how to go about the situation or what to say to him. He just thinks I don't care about his feelings when he saw how upset or unwilling I seem to be about it. He even started crying…Idk what to do. I need feedback and other male and female perspectives. Please help, reddit.
I hoslnestly think there's no coming back from this.
He liked you when you were thinner. He drew a graph chartin how unattractive you'd become and how close you are to becoming ugly. He wants you to wear makeup in order to look attractive. He's basically saying that your natural face is not attractive to him, and the weight you've gained is off-putting. He's an idiot and I think you should end the relationship. Why stay in a relationship with someone who is not attracted to you? Let him be single and alone and find a MUA to date.
You did the right thing. You didn’t need to give her any more of an explanation than what you did because that was your own personal property and personal cell and she had no right to cut it off of you in the middle of the night. she had an issue with it she could’ve brought that up to you as an adult and you can explain further at that point in time but she didn’t even do that.
I sort of do but I'm still on the fence. It should be normal since I caught her flirting with someone else once. So what I want is to find out how to be sure she won't do it again and that she's not lying to me again. And it's normal to want to be sure about someone's real intentions from time to time, did you not ever do that?
Dude, just a hi? You gotta put more effort than that. I can tell you are young and have a LOT to learn when it comes to game. At the very least next time be like “Hey last night was pretty lit” and then ask her some question about what happened at the party or something. Just “Hi” gives her literally nothing to work with lol
Being a parent, we absolutely got breaks. Times where would do things a couple without our child. And times where we would do things as a person by ourselves.
And that is as a married couple with our biological child.
Not sure why someone dating a single mom or even marrying into that relationship can not get some alone time.
Yeesh I can’t imagine saying something f like that about my partners body. And for him to then place the onus on you to heal after he made the comment is shitty. He can’t even have a conversation with you about it? He needs to grow up. Whether or not he grows with you is your decision
Yeesh I can’t imagine saying something f like that about my partners body. And for him to then place the onus on you to heal after he made the comment is shitty. He can’t even have a conversation with you about it? He needs to grow up. Whether or not he grows with you is your decision
Paternity test on the kids – if she's cheated once, it's a relatively safe bet she's cheated again. STD Test – again, if she's cheated once, safe bet she's cheated previously – make sure you're safe. Document everything – given that she's proven herself to be an outright liar, don't be naive enough to think she wouldn't lie about you – start recording all interactions, either with just audio, or full video where possible. Contact your Real estate agent – and get yourself off the lease ASAP. Explain the situation, most companies/individuals would be somewhat understanding of the situation and offer you an out. Get yourself some space and distance to process – you owe yourself some time to deal with this, 7 year relationship at 22 is huge.
So incredibly sorry you're going through this OP – I really am. Cheating is so absolutely awful you don't deserve this, especially with a family in the picture.
You can file a restraining order if it comes down to it. For the sake of your safety
In the comment above, she said she didn’t bring her purse so it sounds as if she does have access to money.
Wanna break it off and be the good guy?
Here’s a suggestion:
Follow the advice on cameras and removing valuable stuff AND departing for the 30 days after you file an eviction. As you’re driving away, call her parents and let them know what’s happened. You do not owe them an explanation.
Since it’s Christmas, give her $4000 and a dog/puppy/cat/kitten/distraction that demands attention/affection. Write a letter saying the $ is for an apartment and whatever else you’d like to say to her. It’s up to her how she is to spend the $ after that. Basically build a safety net without you in it for her to fall away in.
Go no contact and be prepared to get a restraining order.
You’re out of options. Do something or lose your sanity.
If not married, I would set a goal ex. 15% of incomes and map out what that looks like. From their work naked and hold each other accountable. Once married or moved in together combine household incomes to meet goals. Good luck
If you told him your number and it's high and he still wants to be in a relationship with you you probably need to keep everything else to yourself because most men wouldn't accept a high body count so you found a very rare man that would actually accept that from you so you probably need to hold on to him for dear life because you're probably won't find another guy like him again
Dude she doesnt respect you or your opinion at all, she wants you to save for the future well she runs around with her friends and partys up life. She said she wouldnt go on the trip then says fuck you im gonna go and not tell you till i plan every thing. Yea people need to have a life outside their relationship but she is showing you that her word means nothing and she goes against it. Doesnt seem like a partner worth building a life with if they dont keep their word. Your right to be annoyed with the trip
You barely know each other, the long distance part doesnt count.
But … bunch of studies show that if you want a healthy relationship than its a good idea to start it early and with a relatively low dick count.
So if everything is good (common goals, great sexlife, near zero drama/arguments etc) and you live! together for a couple of months than its not a bad idea considering marriage.
Yes you are 20 but ask any woman over 30 … they would kill for a guy who is willing to marry them. Your 20s will be gone sooner than you think.
It really varies. I never date people dearly holding on to pics of their exes or hang out with their exes. I have never had any ex issues in my relationships.
My friend has a gf who is still best friends with her ex. He doesn't care whether she keeps the pictures or not. He has not had any ex issues either.
I do think it is courteous to remove all intimate pictures though.
Yeah, texting all the time is just unhealthy. You clearly don’t have any reason to be insecure, from what I read it sounds like he puts the effort in, texting you goodnight and good morning and listening to your concerns and face timing you more often.
What trouble can good ex make for you? You didn't give any specific examples just vague, and frankly insane sounding, worry.
This guy's got a lot on his plate already, instead of adding conflict and stress to an already naked situation, maybe try being a good partner.
I would be really jealous!
And yes she has told me numerous times that I have treated her better than anyone from her past, and she is happiest with me.
Contribute, maybe. But be ready for them to dictate how you both should behave for every single thing.
Oh Yeesh, wait he goes along with it? Okay okay there is clearly no respect whatsoever for you, how many times have you talked to him about this I mean considering this isn’t the 1st friend this has happened with shows he just doesn’t care and seems slightly immature himself, most men don’t want to disrespect the person they claim to love
Of course call the police! What other option would there be ….?!
I think you need to figure out what your boundaries are as far as what constitutes cheating for you, and you need to communicate this clearly to him. Let him know how you feel about wanting to explore together. If he’s not capable of having that discussion then you have a whole other problem on your hands
He wants you to stay and put with with his crap – he doesn't want to actually work on anything.
All of what you're saying is massive red flags for an abusive relationship so I do think you need to do what you know you need to do and be safe doing it.
I think your overthinking this. I don't think there's a limit on ot unless it's in a union contract somewhere. I wouldn't think a company would let lift truck operator go to far on ot as it might be a safety hazard. Sounds like your schedules aren't doing you any good for sure.
You know, a key component of flirting is doing with someone who isn’t in a relationship. That’s the problem here.
Can you stay with a friend? Tell their parents if he tries to escalate over break?
What Dave said was inappropriate. If he said it like “Wow, she seems like she’s transgressing a lot of behavioral norms around flirtation and fidelity. I wonder if that’s a result a traumatic past?” He might be forgiven. But he didn’t, did he?
You get to make this choice. Dave’s revealed himself as someone who you find detestable. You get to decide if you’d rather keep him as a friend, knowing who he is, or lose him. He’s made his position admirably clear – he doesn’t think he said anything wrong, and if you do, that’s your problem.
So how will you deal with his transgression? Will you just get over it? Or will you drop him as a friend? Those are your only options, and they both seem pretty clear.
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It would be different for me actually. I wouldn’t bring a female friend into my room out of respect for my girlfriend
Supply some sources. You’re just regurgitating your personal perception. None of the data I’ve seen support these claims. Provide actual data or stop spewing naked air.
Let her go. She'll get in touch if she wants but I think it's safe to says it's over.
My advice to you is you date someone other than a legal child.
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not that it's relevant but when I was a toddler (around 3 yo) my mom would shower with me and I always peed on her feet to annoy her
That would be cold, don’t you think? If she’s tired of him talking about it, then can’t she find the door to someone who gives less of a fuck about her?
He’s tried, and if he brings it up then dumps her, that’s being unnecessarily shitty to her. Obviously he’s tried close to a dozen times to discuss this if he’s run the gambit on ways to bring it up and is now banned. It’s time to accept she doesn’t want to hear it and instead go the ‘we’ve grown apart’ than ‘you’re fat’ route when they inevitably break up.
Correct me if I'm wrong but it sounds like she went to get condoms not her friend
Birth control should really be taken at the same time each day, so I'd give her a pass on that.
But wow, she seems like a stage 5 clinger. I'm annoyed with all the texts and calls and I'm not even the one dating her.
What a pile of bull-poo-poo.
He is a liar.
If you are looking to charge the battery, take it out for a 20 minute ride. Never let a car run for any period indoors.
As to the other stuff I have no idea.
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Yeah, I did.
All you do is complain.
Why is your wife working full time?
I wouldn't regarding a relationship with a cheater as beautiful.
She cheated before and she'll probably cheat again. You don't need that.
If he says he's working on it and not actually changing anything then he is just trying to train you into accepting his behaviour. He thinks that you will eventually give in because that's what happens in porn
I mean the dude is 30!
Indeed, but I couldn’t let an opportunity go by to reiterate his abusiveness.
He has no respect for you as a person.
You were on top of him you had the advantage, learn some material art to protect yourself.
Updateme!
He knows who Andrea is. This issue is why is he willing to lie about that.
It’s over and done. Take it as a learning experience.
You probably got intimidated by her interest, and didn’t want to put it to the test and possibly blow it. You played it cool, and maybe a little too cool. But that’s not your fault, at 18 we are not thinking optimally yet, and only see things more clearly in time as we get more experience.
This cannot be for real. You guys are not friends. Chick is different and you want her? Really, after witnessing that? Ok. Tell him but you are no different from them!
no worries my guy. if she thought less of you for it, then she's not the kind of person who you should be with, right? it's like if you had any other medical issue, that's how you should think of it – because that's how it is.
a lot of younger people use viagra and not just for ED. it's also used to treat some heart conditions. a surprising amount of people use viagra recreationally, which I personally wouldn't recommend as a professional.
Do you want to keep having sex with him?
He’s waiting for you to be desperate
Everyone's bodies change all the time. If she were to lose 80 lbs today, there's no guarantee she'd stay at that weight after you get married, and there's no guarantee that your weight won't change either.
Marriage is not about promising to love and honor and support someone only if they fit a narrow weight range; it really sounds like you're not ready for marriage if you don't understand that.
The age gap is going to cause issues because usually those ages are in completely different places in life. I don't believe in the whole taking time apart. If you can't face a problem together, it'll never work imo. That's what relationships are. You and me against the problem. Time apart always tells me “a nice way to break up”.
Don’t!
Wtf was that reaction though? Asking if you would want to transition into a woman cause you wore heels a few times, that’s weird as fuck.
I’m going to be painfully honest here. You are using your mental problems as an excuse and instead of working on them you’re just wallowing. I’m not a psychologist but I’ve been to enough to know that if you’re in therapy for 3 years and you don’t have exercises in place to help you through these situations so you don’t spiral or have irrational thoughts, then either you’re not getting help in therapy or you’re not telling the therapist everything or doing the work they are assigning you.
I can’t diagnose you, but based off this post I can tell you have a specific disorder that causes self destruction in your day to day life. And it’s naked to get better but you have to put in the work. It’s easy to be negative all the time and only see negative things, but you need to find 1 positive thing each day and hold on to that positivity and build from it.
Of course stealthing is a crime.
I’m talking about people who squeeze their eyes shut and avoid participating in the wrapping process, which is foolish.
We shared extremely common interests, we both had our lives set at the moment, and my kids adored her when we were dating and I couldn’t ask for a better step mom for them. Her parenting style matches mine (which is difficult to find).
This is a mutually abusive relationship. You both need to leave.
I don't know nothing about professional skills and qualifications of any of ppl involved to actually choose who is the best choice.
“By hiring date, I have been here the second longest out of everyone. By months worked, it’s pretty close between me and my partner, because I went to grad school and was gone for 12 months. The other two managers have more recent hire dates and fewer months worked, but one of them has been in management at this company longer than either me or my partner.
The funny thing is that I would not have a naked time finding another job. I get approached by recruiters a few times a year and I am “noteworthy” in our industry because of the work I did in grad school. I’m in charge of a lot of hiring and the labor market is very tight in our industry. One of the reasons that the company is successful is that we have a department that is specialized in something a lot of businesses in our industry need, and it’s my department. I can take my current skill set directly to a client or competitor. I do not have a non-compete in my employment contract.” – OP
Sounds fun, spend money you don’t have for a big wedding you don’t want yet and can’t afford……and after that’s done lucky you OP, you get to support another adult who won’t be working or contributing to your family budget for another 4 years!
I don’t like the way this sounds. It looks like she just wants to get married so that she has ton to pay all expenses and pay to send her to college…why hasn’t she started these studies already anyways? That usually how it goes, you complete your studies, then you get married.
Tell her to slow down, finish her studies then after she’s graduated and has a job you guys can discuss marriage. Besides you have other priorities for the time being. Do not wasted money for a big wedding now when neither of you age ready for it
A ultimatum marks the end of a healthy relationship. End it as soon as possible, it will hurt less.
Thank you, somebody said it.
Because this post is fake
Most definitely is with this instance.
She's trading her time for money
Why should she trade her time just to give him money?
Look, if he wants it to be fair, fine. But then he can't be upset when she decides to work 20 hours because that's the game he wants to play.
No matter what he will be hurt but you can't stay in an unhealthy relationship because you don't want to hurt someone. You are hurting yourself instead and your mental health will not get better if you keep giving in to him. It's time to dump him for good.
I think this depends if he is Fire in bed and you're ok with the fact he has very disrespectful views of women and you in particular then just cut off all conversation about another than FWB. But I'm a firm believer in believing people when they show you the real them.
He also drew me a crude graph showing how my attractiveness started at a higher point when I was thinner and wore a full face of makeup – because I actually liked to do makeup at that point in my life because I thought it was fun, made me feel pretty, and was artistic. Also keep in mind by bf and I weren't together at this time – to a downward slope of a line to where I am currently on a lower point on this attractiveness graph because I don't wear makeup and gained 15 pounds
he deserved to enjoy me at my absolute maximum attractiveness.
This is atrociously rude behaviour.
really don't know how to go about the situation or what to say to him. He just thinks I don't care about his feelings when he saw how upset or unwilling I seem to be about it. He even started crying…Idk what to do. I need feedback and other male and female perspectives. Please help, reddit.
I hoslnestly think there's no coming back from this.
He liked you when you were thinner. He drew a graph chartin how unattractive you'd become and how close you are to becoming ugly. He wants you to wear makeup in order to look attractive. He's basically saying that your natural face is not attractive to him, and the weight you've gained is off-putting. He's an idiot and I think you should end the relationship. Why stay in a relationship with someone who is not attracted to you? Let him be single and alone and find a MUA to date.
Cheated. Basic common knowledge what plan b is for. Break up with her. Worse case she ends up Prego claiming it's yours.
You did the right thing. You didn’t need to give her any more of an explanation than what you did because that was your own personal property and personal cell and she had no right to cut it off of you in the middle of the night. she had an issue with it she could’ve brought that up to you as an adult and you can explain further at that point in time but she didn’t even do that.
I sort of do but I'm still on the fence. It should be normal since I caught her flirting with someone else once. So what I want is to find out how to be sure she won't do it again and that she's not lying to me again. And it's normal to want to be sure about someone's real intentions from time to time, did you not ever do that?
Because my mom got married to someone other than my dad and had my sister.
Flee!
Ahhh. It read to me like she was looking for tylenol and found them and took them.
Sounds to me like she was snooping intentionally because she was already suspicious. Red Flag.
Dude, just a hi? You gotta put more effort than that. I can tell you are young and have a LOT to learn when it comes to game. At the very least next time be like “Hey last night was pretty lit” and then ask her some question about what happened at the party or something. Just “Hi” gives her literally nothing to work with lol
Being a parent, we absolutely got breaks. Times where would do things a couple without our child. And times where we would do things as a person by ourselves.
And that is as a married couple with our biological child.
Not sure why someone dating a single mom or even marrying into that relationship can not get some alone time.
Yeesh I can’t imagine saying something f like that about my partners body. And for him to then place the onus on you to heal after he made the comment is shitty. He can’t even have a conversation with you about it? He needs to grow up. Whether or not he grows with you is your decision
Dude Fuck this guy. Seriously he is a bad person.
Yeesh I can’t imagine saying something f like that about my partners body. And for him to then place the onus on you to heal after he made the comment is shitty. He can’t even have a conversation with you about it? He needs to grow up. Whether or not he grows with you is your decision
Daddy? Is that you? Date on your age group and this won’t happen
Paternity test on the kids – if she's cheated once, it's a relatively safe bet she's cheated again. STD Test – again, if she's cheated once, safe bet she's cheated previously – make sure you're safe. Document everything – given that she's proven herself to be an outright liar, don't be naive enough to think she wouldn't lie about you – start recording all interactions, either with just audio, or full video where possible. Contact your Real estate agent – and get yourself off the lease ASAP. Explain the situation, most companies/individuals would be somewhat understanding of the situation and offer you an out. Get yourself some space and distance to process – you owe yourself some time to deal with this, 7 year relationship at 22 is huge.
So incredibly sorry you're going through this OP – I really am. Cheating is so absolutely awful you don't deserve this, especially with a family in the picture.
All the strength in the world my man.