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Olia, 19 y.o.
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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms Olia
Date: September 25, 2022
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Kind of think you both put yourselves in an unsafe situation. I get you wanted to go to a specific event in a neighborhood you knew was unsafe but bar hopping afterwards? You were pushing it.
Asking for than once. Says it all.
Idk wouldn’t you think that if they were planning to ask her, they wouldn’t have posted it in a group chat she’s involved in? I’m pretty sure they have no intention of asking her.
This is such an insecure (slightly psycho gf) thing to do. Jesus, just foster trust. What's the point if you have to prod beyond the point where you actually communicate?
You're going to always bring him lunch and show up unannounced if you have a random suspicion? Being hurt is scary, but living like this is not better than being hurt
OP, i am sorry but you are stupid and desperate. This is f up.
You better learn to be alone rather than be in an abusive relationship. Don't settle just because you're afraid to be alone. Always go where the fear is.
It could be he has feelings for you and seeing you with a husband is too much to take. In that scenario he needs to completely distance himself from you as you can't be friends with someone if you're jealous of not being with them.
Unless you plan on divorcing from your husband or accepting that he is in love with you it's better to let him leave your life
You know the answer. It’s the one you’re avoiding.
u/Zestyclose-Editor-84 Start recording the all of conversations she is having with you and anytime she makes these threats, and give them to a lawyer to use as your leverage to get full custody of your son due to an unsafe situation developing at his mother's. She has mental issues that are unresolved and having your child living in that situation can become dangerous as you date your partner (“if I can't have my family back, nobody can!”) and create a family with her. If you have the ability, request supervised visitation.
Honestly…everyone sucks! Your husband for cheating then introducing his AP to you. Spencer’s for knowing that’s his now wife was the AP. AP for even being friends with you knowing she slept with your husband. Girl, the friendship will not be the same, now that you know everything. Go ahead & cut these people off.
It's not your fault, it's just how things are with him.. But I hope you guys can pull through.. But don't lay on your back and allow him to do all this shitty behavior.. There is no excuse for him to take it out on you, for things that happened in his past
Break up immediately
Attachment issues for sure. Remember the F.O.G Acronym. Fear, Obligation, Guilt. If they use these tactics against you then they are trying to manipulate your feelings.
As I've heard it used, my way or the highway is generally, “do it how I say or GTFO” not “do it how I say or I will commence with the domestic battery”. Maybe I've just lived a charmed life, with minimal levels of domestic battery. That said, I think maybe you have too.
There are a great many individuals, particularly individuals with a history of abuse or parental issues, who have a very very hot time leaving a partner. There are people who can't bring themselves to leave their partners even after being raped or beaten, even if they have the opportunity to do so. These tend to be people without strong support systems outside of their relationship, who feel lost, who might feel like they don't know how to find their own way in the world. These are the people I'm thinking of, both because these are the people most likely to become victims of further abuse, and because some of these people have been very close to me, and learning how to handle the effects of the mental (and more often than not, also physical) scars they carried was a big part of me learning how to maintain a healthy and respectful relationship, helping people build themselves up when they've had a tendency is to tear themselves down carved into them by trauma.
Their partners can use what they would insist are “totally reasonable boundaries” to cut them off from whatever support system they have left, cultivate reliance from them, and more or less get them to do whatever under the threat of leaving them. It's fucked up, but it's a power dynamic built on the idea of “You love me more than I love you, and I know you know that, so my threats to leave you are credible, but you can make no such threat, because you know I'd call your bluff and tell you to leave, which you don't even want to think about.”
If you guys used to be so active and fit and went to the gym together 3-4 times a week, maybe he's wondering why it took you three years to finally start to try to get back in shape.
he’s not respecting your boundaries or your feelings. now, this could be for one of two reasons. 1: you’re not communicating those boundaries as clearly as you think you are, in which case you need to have another serious conversation with him and make things abundantly clear. Or 2, he’s more concerned with his own needs. If that’s the case, he doesn’t care about you the way he should and you need to leave asap before it gets worse
I think you already know that you aren't getting out of this relationship what you want. You're having sex with him to please him, but it isn't fulfilling for you, and you don't get affection.
Make it clear to him that, if he's unwilling to show how much he cares about you, by being affectionate, you are unwilling to continue the relationship.
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A few months?! Holy shit
I am no medical health professional but it can’t be good for your long term health to have them every time you have sex. I get that your douche canoe of a bf doesn’t prioritize your health, constant and long term, but I don’t understand why YOU do not prioritise your health. Why are you ok with this? Isn’t that a huge fkin boundary and the bare fkin minimum?! Girl have some self respect for fucks sake!
You've got two options. Either you end your relationship and pursue something with Ryan, or you and Ken figure out together what's missing in your relationship and work through this as a team.
INFO: You need to be more specific about what he does that is upsetting to your parents. People don't yell and scream about disliking someone for just a few minor “weird and annoying” quirks.
Either you are exaggerating their reaction or they are seeing some serious red flags that you are oblivious to.
On the plus side, you have the entire weekend to pack up her shit.
He seems like an insecure manchild. Jesus is hate having him as a life partner. Wouldn't be able to do shit without him accusing you of cheating or disrespectfulness.
And he's 29! Fucking hell OP… good luck with this toddler if you stay with him.
Who knows if the poor dude even got back to sleep. If my wife was hours away and I was getting a call from someone else to alert me that she's flirting with alcohol poisoning I'd have a little trouble going back to sleep
Thanks for the award!
Bless your heart ?
Girl leave him..
100% I missed that key part obviously. I figured she would wanna be an aunt to her nieces/nephews.
He think 'burgers' 3 fucking months ago is sufficient? He's broke but can afford a Brazilian wax??
I doubt he was going to pay for the “date”
He is a groomer who cheated on his wife. I’m almost 35 now, couldn’t imagine hitting on a 20 year old because that’s gross they’re basically still a kid.
Why are you afraid of contracting something the majority of people have? No sane person would react poorly to that disclosure. They would say ‘oh ok cool, I don’t even have any idea if I have that since STD panels done usually test for it’.
Ayye I finally found the other dude in these replies.
Smh.
I’m sorry to break this to you but you are literally allowing him to see you like someone who he can walk all over. I don’t know what is wrong with the new mentality of girls buying, clean and all that stuff after a guy. Make him work for you. The best advice I received once was “don’t go giving your love and time to people for free. Give it to those who value your time and love.” I got this advice. I am now following this. Hope you take this advice as well. All I can say is make him feel your absence. Break up with him and don’t block him. Wait 4-5 months. See if he texts you. Don’t reply to any texts until he offers you a sincere apology and specific things he will improve on and how. Actions speak louder than words. Then see if he does mean what he says. If he doesn’t then block and break up for goodX my advice for you. I was like you and it’s not good to be like that. Best
And let's not forget this little gem: “and I got this unexplainable enjoyment out of seeing them go from anxious to relieved every time they got out of my car.” The very fact that you think this is harmless is disturbing enough. That you will argue and justify yourself when your own GF tells you this behaviour is predatory and wrong is disturbing. That you will go on Reddit and argue with the internet at large when they tell you you're being predatory is a whole lotta disturbing. This points to a character flaw that will allow you to escalate to more harmful behaviour because you are willing to justify yourself to get your weird little fix even in the face of overwhelming evidence that you are in the wrong. Get help. And stay away from women…
Your whole comment was great but i'm just pulling out this last graf in the chance that it catches OP's eye because damn they need it
I have only told him how I feel in regards to the gym comment. I haven’t told him anything about his comments relating to my clothes/alcohol/restaurant choices which have made me insecure.
I want to scream “double standards!”, which I think is definitely the case. But I remember when my female flatmate brought home a couple of guys who were drunk and kept screaming next to my closed (and locked!) door asking if I'm very hot and if I'll come out of my room to talk to them. They wouldn't leave, it went on for at least an hour. It was a terrifying experience and I seriously considered reporting my flatmate for creating such an unsafe harassing situation. So while I think you have the right to hook up, for sure, perhaps a middle way can be found where you don't bring in guys who are drunk and could become aggressive with flatmates. It's not fair to them.
Tell your parents to shut the fuck up and if they can’t respect your parents and your life then they don’t get to be involved in it.
You’re not trapped. You just need to stand up against these bullies and protect yourself and the woman you love.
I also wonder whether this ambivalence will be a recurring pattern that’ll put a strain on our relationship
I'd have to guess yes.
It sounds like the 2 of you are incompatible. I can't imagine someone taking an entire year off as a 'gap' year between finishing university and getting a job. That's just… strange. But believe him when he is so clearly showing you who he is. His life, his choice. Your life, your choice. They just aren't on the same path.
I am really trying to understand what happend, but it is extremely hot for me to follow your post OP. But trom what I gathered, it seems your friendship is over. But it's best to try everything you can, rather than giving up and regretting it later. Write everything up point by point you want to say and ask about to your friends and actually truly LISTEN to them. Be honest and try to see from their wiew to (but don't invalidate your own wiew).
Wish the vest for you OP!
Addicts that lose access to pharma often upgrade to the nasty stuff. For Adderall, that's meth. I'm all about having a good time but once you cross that line
it's time to put the drugs down. It sounds like he's headed for a crash.. all the signs are there. I just watched my good friend go through this.
I have a feeling your wife doesn’t call you a mama’s boy because you bring your mom flowers.
A kid makes this situation more difficult, but yeah, I’d be uncomfortable with my in-laws spending time with my boyfriend’s ex. When you get married, you enter into another family. Your best interests are your wife and son’s best interest. You can co-parent without being enmeshed with your exes current life.
Negative.
All serving their sentence means is that they've “paid their debt to society”. It doesn't mean they are redeemed, conversely it doesn't even really mean they were guilty in the first place – just that they were convicted and served their time.
You don't have to like them, lots of jobs are able (or even required) to refuse to hire them (depending on the crime), they can lose their rights (can't legally own or possess a firearm for example, if you're convicted of a felony OR a misdemeanor involving domestic violence), and so on.
Sounds like he did the right thing and you two weren't compatible. Different people have different sexual needs. It doesn't mean either of you did anything wrong, it just wasn't working out.
Yeah I’m not planning on it. Appreciate your reply
I don't agree that he's fighting against her at all. The fact that she says shit like telling him to toughen up means she's failing him in a massive way and it isn't his fault she's brushing him off.
Yes you should be a priority. She takes you for granted. Confront her about it, and tell her you want her to prioritise her plans with you. If her sister asking her is more important than being tired then it should be the same for you.
Be prepared, for deflection, gaslighting or refusal to communicate.
You know, you should prepare yourself mentally for break up. It is what you should do, unless you will be unquestionable top of her priority list.
My god. My GOD. I’m so sorry.
This is a nice idea, I'll ask him if his flatmates would like to do something like this. We study at two different universities in the same city and I study foreign languages so he can't help much with that. But we do generally offer each other support over things like this. We play live with each other sometimes (we only have once before), but I was thinking more activities we can do when we're actually together. When I'm alone, I text him a bit but generally I need to unwind in my alone time because I have a stressful job and degree.
The ambition she lacks is in general. She doesn't really have any goals.
She does work from home for 8 hours, but beyond that she doesn't really do much.
Ya, it all fell into place nicely didnt it? The mom calling, the coach. Him all of a sudden being affectionate.
It would be more believable to find out she caught a case of amnesia and forgot the last 12 months. Id watch that romcom.
Happy cake day.
Happy cake day.
Perfectly said.
That's a lot of text for phrasing issue. You don't have to leave your life story to justify something to me, I wasn't one of the users that gave the downvoted.
It’s not my back up.. it’s his. In fact, when I came to the conclusion of keeping this child entirely at first, I even decided that right afterwards, I was going to get my tubes tied.
It’s not my back up.. it’s his. In fact, when I came to the conclusion of keeping this child entirely at first, I even decided that right afterwards, I was going to get my tubes tied.
Yes, if I was that serious about someone I'd exhaust all my options before giving up over student loan debt.
I am near certain this is a badly written creative writing exercise, or possibly the OP jacks off knowing that people are reading this power fantasy.
If its the 1% chance this actually happened to OP, the “friend” needs to be reported to authorities.
Eh. We online in an instant gratification society in which people have steadily lost their ability to meaningfully connect with others or regulate their emotions. People are constantly comparing themselves to others via social media, etc., and it bleeds into every aspect of life for those who are unable to separate things out. She posted here because she couldn’t handle her emotions and has no ability to self soothe or critically think about the situation. She needed the dopamine hit which comes from getting support and validation so she posted here and got her ass chewed out for being immature and toxic. Quelle surprise, eh? Some people just don’t want to accept that they need to introspect and do the work on their habits and behaviors.
You’re saying all this shit like I didn’t acknowledge it already. Yeah it’s totally understandable and that’s why I have no idea what to do. That’s exactly why i feel like i can’t be upset. I don’t put any blame on him for making that decision but it hurts that he’s just willing to drop me and the life we’ve been building using a couple texts
Nah protect your peace girl he‘s not worth it.
What does sketchy even mean here? You’re using your parents relationship as anecdotal evidence?