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Let’s Just Have A Damn Good Time..
Date: October 5, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
Let’s Just Have A Damn Good Time..
You seem to have handled this really well! You don't have any obligation to be in any relationship. I'm glad you were able to express yourself in what seems like a very positive way. You didn't do anything wrong at all, and I'm sorry you feel conflicted.
My first thought is: Maybe a history of SA or trauma of some sort; lack of personal autonomy in some way. Maybe she didn't say anything initially because she didn't know how without rejection or if she has rejected someone in her past maybe the result was very bad and resulted in a trauma, which would make it terrifying to reject anyone in any way, and would explain why she had a friend with her. Not everyone is up for a relationship with someone with a history of trauma or mental health issues. It is really nude, and takes a lot of patience and energy.
Ty!
Go see a dr. I’m glad to hear this is a troll account.
You can't let your emotions rule you how you feel and how you act. children are ruled by their emotions and act on them. as a grown woman give yourself time to process your emotions if you need to be alone do so if you just need your husband to be with you call him and tell him you need him.
attacking and acting on your emotions is not healthy mature thing to do.
Personally , I feel like when 2 people keep seeing other while developing feelings , it is very difficult to date others if they are demi sexual or mentally ok.
Honesty is present even in poly relationships.
It seems your gf has some attachment issues at that time where she was still learning to commit to you and her way in her own mind was to finish that past business by sleeping with him.
What she did wrong was not to communicate to you while doing her business and denying you agency for her deeds.
Even though she has been awesome for the next 6 years, this definately something you can never ignore. Either you break up or stay with her , you need to have some serious conversations, however embarrassing and hot it is. Until all the answers are given to your satisfaction you cannot reconcile.
Have a talk with her about how you feel then ask for space during which her actions will dictate what the future holds.
Go about your business while contemplating how lofe is with her, how it could be and whether you ll be able to love with that lie. If you still feel that you cannot forgive and forget , seek life elsewhere .
Good luck.
Ok, 2 things I'm seeing here;
1) Brother keeps bringing up past friend. Not sure to what extent you've spoken to your gf on this topic, but you could try having a deeper sit down conversation about this. Maybe ask her how she'd feel if your sibling constantly brought up your past fling/ex around her all the time? At the end of the day, if it is CONSTANTLY then it sounds like a slight/comparison to her current partner/you and thus her brother is seriously disrespecting you, especially after 2 years.
If gf continues to not want to talk to her brother about it then you can either tell her you will if she won't, and then confront him, or you can express that you will be limiting your contact with her brother going forward as you don't appreciate his behavior.
2)
And to be honest i get a little annoyed at her, i feel like she keeps things from me, and they come out like this.
Once of your comments, “Well initially she told me she never had a friends with benefits…then a year into the relationship she tells me.”
I think the lie is the bigger issue. In some capacity, one is not obligated to just share everything about themselves with their partner. However if you both have talked about past relationships, rather than lying she should've just said she didn't feel comfortable telling you about her past partners at the time.
If this is the only thing she's lied to you about, aka over the last two years she's not constantly hiding things from you, then it's probably not that big of a deal. Ex's, like you claim, are in the past and thus should stay in the past. She probably just thought that you'd never meet or hear about this past ex and thus didn't feel the need to mention him and thus lied out of convivence whenever you both were talking about past relationships/exs. It might be worth a conversation about how you'd like her to be honest rather then lying out of convenience when talking about anything moving forward.
Now, if you've caught her lying/hiding way more than this one past ex, then you've probably got a bigger issue on your hands.
I know. That's why I said *unless*. You're free to go where you want, even right past his house.
Um…she raped your dad…instead of people wondering if she was raped, maybe she raped OPs biological dad too.