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Date: October 16, 2022
You posted the exact same post more than a month ago and nothing has changed. What makes you think things can be different?
Yeah, it's tough but you have to find a way to deal with loss in a healthy way, otherwise you'll never be able to roll the dice on anyone.
People give so much bad advice in this forum it's untrue. “I think my partner might be a narcissist”
“Lock him up” “Run away” “Have you considered feeding him worms”
Honestly people need to get a grip. If this behaviour is out of character for this person and you like them then why aren't you trying to understand what has happened. A narcissist doesn't apologise unless their ultimate motive is jeopardised, if you're getting apologies before that point it's less likely that they are a narcissist.
Have you considered whether or not his new job/location of his job is a problem, or maybe you are being too emotional during a period of time when he's trying to be logical and plan things.
Try a non-threatening approach to a conversation when you're not in the middle of an argument, don't blame him or demean yourself and stay logical, don't go into it like a mastermind of sussing him out because it'll be written all over you. Try to understand the situation without emotion and see how you feel after the fact.
Then if that fails, consider whether it's the right fit for you.
Our relationship was very healthy thank you very much, we just happen to be be two people who have medical issues.
Let us know if you need more help!
Dont see this as a big deal, he was open and told you about this, he didnt hid the lunch from you, didnt hid who he was going with, he was honest about it. If he hasnt given you a reason not to trust him then trust him, you can talk about it but really if they are childhood friends then try to get to know her so your more comfortable. Most people have a past and sometimes people realize they are better friends then partners.
Really not trying to play devils advocate here because… Jesus this dude is fucked, but it could be a case that they're just from a country where the age of consent is 16.
Aside from that, yeah he raped op and is a criminal anyway so I'm splitting hairs
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First, couples therapy is all well and good, but you need to be seeing an individual therapist. Having your husband AND your parents think you were a cheater is awful and traumatic. Couples therapy isn’t going to really address that. And for it to happen while you’re pregnant is just more trauma on top as your being slammed with all these different hormones. Second, I understand you wanting your child to grow up with two parents together as your own step dad didn’t love you as much as his bio kids, but an unhappy home with two parents isn’t better than a happy home with one parent.
Your husband took the word of the person who he (claims to have) turned down for sex about you cheating. Either he is an absolutely bloody idiot and didn’t think she might be lying to fuck your life up, or he just wanted an excuse to fuck around without it technically being cheating. And I’d bet money that Ali is amongst those people he slept with. I don’t know how you can even look at him after his actions.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
“He is out of your league, so he must be a predator. But I will protect you like a sister and show you what real love is (but do not remember I can pick a replacement at any moment, so you better be a nice girl).”
there are people out there that are loyal and will be better partners for you
And it doesn't take a lot of “energy” to just say nice things or terms of endearment.
To infer that just showing up and “being there” is plenty to call it a relationship seems rather lame. A piece of furniture puts in the same amount of effort.
For all of this she’s an incredibly unique person with an awesome lifestyle and I’m getting a better sense of identity because of it.
Fake
That's not being harsh personality wise, that's him being an immature ass. Woman his age wouldn't deal with it because they know that's not how adults function.
Totally wrong. It doesn’t matter why. There is no “weirdly secretive”. It is the professional responsibility of OP to keep all client information confidential, as she is doing. The husband is massively out of line to even ask, much less demand any of this information. OP stand your ground. None of his business and he is completely wrong to think he should have access to this, he definitely should not. He sounds horribly controlling. Ignore his attempts to guilt you into doing something unprofessional.
Sounds normal. Crushes don't have to make sense, just keep it to yourself and you're all good, but if you find yourself getting too jealous or desperately needing to confess to him then you need to step away from the friendship because he's obviously not gonna be interested
You seem to have a strong co-dependency on this friendship and of what you would have preferred it to be.
“It's not mutual anymore I guess. “
Are you sure that it ever was? You don't say anything in your post that gave that impression.
” deep down I want him to fully emotionally support me coz he is one of the people I know “
You don't have to be his “first priority” in order for him to still fully support you emotionally. That said, I hope you aren't using him and the friendship in a way that a client uses a therapist, cuz that's not a friendship. That's an emotional dumping relationship.
All in all, it sounds like you're focused more of possessing him more than the support he can offer.
A question comes to mind, and maybe it would be good for you to think on as well……If not this guy(friend)…..than is this pattern of behavior and desire going to repeat itself for the next friend that you feel really close to?
Reddit is misogynistic as hell, it just pretends not to be on the outside.
Have you even talked to him about how you feel?