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lexy (full_milk), 27 y.o.
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Date: October 23, 2022
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Honestly, that is one of the weirdest dating stories I’ve heard. Don’t second guess yourself, you did nothing wrong and her reaction was extreme.
Sounds like she wants to keep him around in case things go to shit to me. Guy ran a company so he's got money then. So she is a cheater and that didn't bounce a red flag for you? Now she is acting sad that you asked her to cut off a guy who is 15 years her senior (half her age literally) and also helped destroy his marriage. You've made some bad choices..
If you trust that you're honest with each other, how would a conversation go if he wanted to hang out with a female friend and he told you that she was just a platonic friend? Would you believe him? Would he believe you if you told him that your male friend was just a friend?
“Azul, I do trust my partner. It's them other people I don't trust.”
As long as you trust your partner, other people's intentions do not matter. Because your partner will keep boundaries in check one way or another.
Gay man in his mid-30s here.
Your “friend” sounds like a bigot and idk why you are you trying to salvage a friendship with this person if they think gay folks are “disgusting fags.” Life’s too short to spend it surrounding yourself with people who don’t respect you for being yourself, because this shit will come back around and is pretty indicative of his personal character — bro is trash.
“you have to be afraid of them for it to be sexual assault” now, huh?
That's not better.
Yeah, that’s what I’m feeling towards. Should have learnt from her leaving the first time.
People who cheat are convinced that everyone does
Big red flag
How can I let go fully? I’m catching myself in constant rumination and regret for the past.
It’s helpful to hear that she couldn’t compromise with my boundaries. It feels like it’s less ‘my fault’ looking at it that way. I guess the guilt that I did something wrong is what I’m most caught up about.
Thanks for the quick reply.
Choose your child.
Don’t go through with it if you’re not sure. You still have some time to think. Me and my wife’s baby is 7 months old and honestly I can’t imagine life without her now. It’s tough, really tough but it’s worth it, if that’s what you want
She sounds exhausting. Is that the case?
I think it deserves a meta talk. Like a talk to define what things he’s willing to discuss further now and which he’d prefer to be off limits.
I have given him chances to come with me to Disney, come with me on vacation, I told him he’s always free to come to bowling and watch, I pay for a bowling league, and I pay for the year in advance, so I have to go every Sunday, from 6 to 10 PM. He works midnight shift as well, so he sleeps till 930 or so, and leaves a half hour away.
I think it would be selfish of him, to make me want to stop bowling, something I love, which is a simple release from the pressures of nursing school and work every week. It’s something I like doing.
He's an abusive asshole. It's only going to escalate. Leave him and get child support. My mom stayed with my dad when they should have been divorced when i was a child. I was miserable and prayed that she would leave him. Love your daughter more than you do him.
I think you’re a bit biased. This is an extremely strange hill to die on, and your thought process is archaic.
You make wide sweeping assumptions and make shit up as fact because it’s the only way to support your argument. There’s no mention at all of the 21 yo drinking. OP was blackout before she was even there. There’s no mention of him finding her attractive. You’re making all this shit up.
Context matters. So does complexity. Everybody find your big kid pants and put them on. This one is more complex than a toddlers sorting game.
Ironic stance, considering you’re the one who fails to grasp nuance. Keep acting like the “reasonable” one when your take is the most childish one here.