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Lee, 19 y.o.
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Date: September 21, 2022
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I agree that the fiancé is at fault here. When there's a sticky situation like that, you calmly go in and extract the person from the situation and get out of there. You don't run in and get in the person's face; that's a recipe for disaster. OP didn't do anything wrong.
I guess all you can do is sit him down and tell him
I'd almost call it a hookup and not a bf.
When I'm home my job is the last thing on my mind, I love spending time with my family, I try to have a family member of mine help when I'm not there but they are as useful as a used condom
Yes op drank too much.Op should not drink too much.
I don't think you or her necessarily did anything wrong.
I think she talked about it with her friend and then her friend told her that she needs to be more assertive and tell you when she's uncomfortable or anxious. Your ex didn't have the guts to do it herself, so the friend felt the need to step in and speak on her behalf. At least that how I think things happened between them. Maybe the friend wanted to sabotage your relationship, or maybe she really was just trying to help, who knows.
I do find it odd that she needs someone to ask her every time they want to kiss her. Sounds to me like she has some hang ups she needs to work through and it doesn't have anything to do with you. She has a right to her boundaries, but you also don't have to be in a relationship with her if you feel like she's asking too much of you.
In the end, it probably was for the best to break things off with her, she needs to sort out her insecurities, and you can move on and find someone else to share your life with.
If you're not open to an open relationship then this should be a deal breaker for you. Stand up for yourself and break up with her.
He probably shouldn't have disowned for such a stupid fucking reason then ey?
Thanks for the positive comments, kind stranger. I'm surprised I got so many downvotes, simply for standing up for basic family values and common decency.
Agree, but it’s easy to believe in something until it affects you personally ?
One thing to consider would be what having devout children when you're an atheist would be like. It wouldn't be easy, and they'd probably put a lot of pressure on you to convert. Unless you could be sure that your partner would have your back in that situation… might be an idea not to pursue things further.
One, not everyone is okay with oral sex. It's not a tit for tat thing. Are you trying pressure her? Or keep holding it over her head like, “*Well, I do this for you! So you've gotta do this for me! Or l just stop doing the things you like!” That's not okay. That's actually pretty selfish and unfair in my book. Would you want someone trying to pressure you? Or someone expecting you to do something you aren't comfortable with?? Because I doubt that.
Two, the majority of women DO NOT climax through intercourse! The majority of us climax through external stimulation, ie cunnilingus, fingering.
Three, she may not be able to do certain positions like Doggystyle because of a medical issue. Having endometriosis makes that particular position extremely painful!
Agree! Either that or he was fishing to see if he would get a bite. Especially if he was drinking.
No this has been this way for a long time, I guess it’s just never effected us like this since moving out. All her f friends are friends she knows through me, and while she did try to make plans on this day no one was free. Hobbies wise she does, but she gets bored of them easily. For example I could happily spend all day on my own playing some games, watching YouTube etc, but she can’t do that.
Don't do anything for free…if he is not willing to pay then find someone else
Bruh…
No it’s not “essentially lying” at all
People also underestimate how hot it is to be a caregiver, especially when it's your own child (I've been that child so I've seen what it looks like). Caregiver burnout is a very real, tough problem.
I appreciate the feedback. I’m having a hot time navigating continuing with him or letting this be the end.
It sounds like if he leaves, the trash will be taking itself out. I fall to see the downside of this.
Nope.
It seems like OP does have some hot insecurity issues and it’s really rough to see no support from the family. Like OP clearly has issues taking pictures (not normal) and then stares her down at the table when this girl makes fun of him (also not normal). OP then makes everyone uncomfortable by escalating and using profane language. That’s not normal in typical social settings. Even if a person is being an asshole. I think OP needs some sort of support or help.
No joke, the adultery subreddit went nuts when Apple introduced the delete iMessage feature and the face scan to get to the phone’s hidden pictures folder.
It really feels like you should be able to presume sexual exclusivity with someone you are actively dating and sleeping with unless it is clearly stated otherwise. Like I don’t think you need to become celibate every time you get into the “talking stage” with someone new but damn, do we really need to have a verbal contract before you’ll stop banging other people?
Obviously, he gave you a different impression of himself than what you thought he was. Now that time went by, you are finding out just how important Judaism is to him, and he wants his children and wife to be practicing Jews. As an Atheist that has no ties to a religion or culture of the like, your ideas and values vastly differ from his and under no circumstances should you ever convert to any thing just to please another. It sounds like it's time he goes hos way to find a Jewish woman, and you find a man of compatible ideas of what a future should look like.
Man I hope he leaves you. How toxic and immature.
I just want to know why she felt it was necessary to tell your husband she had a change of schedule? Like, none of his business.
Your family sounds like they want to sabotage your life so you can stay around and “help” at your expense.
Don’t bring your boyfriend around that crap again. If you do you will surely lose him