You're not overreacting. If I were you, I would be very plainly and clearly laying out my boundaries and telling her how she has crossed them and disrespected you and your children.
Literally everyone is caring, funny, and loyal after only a couple months. It's not snobby to have standards and it's ok to position yourself in a way that might help you achieve your goals.
Just because you vibe doesn't mean you're right for each other in the long run. I would break it off and find someone that has a similar timeline. Otherwise you're gonna be 33 with 2 kids and this dude is gonna be asking you to pick him up from his buddies house because he doesn't have the cash to take an uber.
Listen, you’re going to more than likely get shit on here, and honestly rightfully so. The thing is, your concerns are absolutely legitimate; you’re just presenting them horribly, and you also have a very illogical and quite frankly archaic idea of how healthy relationships should operate.
In saying that, let me back up and disclose that I’m a guy and I’m happily married. I also generally lean to the right for the most part, which I’m telling you so that you don’t just blindly make an assumption otherwise.
But let’s now focus on reality. You’re still essentially strangers and you’re mapping out your future. It’s not that these discussions shouldn’t happen, because assessing compatibility is literally the most fundamental aspect of finding a healthy relationship. The problem is that you don’t seem to understand what compatibility is.
You have a mindset that you should be a gentleman, treat women with respect, and be a good partner. Guess what? That’s exactly the mindset you should have. These should be baseline expectations. Now, I have a lot more regarding what I’m about to say next so keep reading, but you’re being dishonest when you say that you do all these things with no expectations followed by telling us you have physical expectations. You just need to acknowledge that.
But here’s the thing; it’s ok to want sex! It’s not faux pas. It doesn’t make you a bad person. You’re entitled to want as much sex as you want. On the other end, she’s entitled not to. Unfortunately, that means you’re sexually incompatible.
In your case, the deeper issue is you have this belief (as do many others), that because you’ve been a great person and partner, sex should be a foregone conclusion. That’s not how healthy relationships work. Sex shouldn’t be transactional.
You shouldn’t think she should want sex because you’ve been a great partner. She should want sex because she wants sex. She doesn’t want sex. This is where you become absolutely absurd.
You’re now trying to buy her affection. Why are you doing all this shit? I’m honestly not trying to be mean here, but I unfortunately need to be blunt; you’re being pathetic. I hate that I even said that. Honestly I’d rather you just PM me to talk this through.
But you’re going about all of this the wrong way. You’re sexually incompatible and fighting it. This isn’t something you can negotiate.
I want to, but she is not in a state now. She is very devastated about the miscarriage, but yes, I know that I don't have any future with her. I'm not in love with her and even if I take full responsibility for what I did I still resent her a bit. I have problems trusting her and I can't touch her without feeling sick. Something that has been a problem in our relationship because she's been wanting to sleep with me and I just can't do it most of the times.
Nah man you have every reason to be upset. She said it in a very destructive manner, no suggesting you to exercise more or eating more healthily, let alone offering to exercise with you or cook for you, or anything constructive and supportive of that nature. Just straight up ‘I’m not attracted to you anymore’.
You're not overreacting. If I were you, I would be very plainly and clearly laying out my boundaries and telling her how she has crossed them and disrespected you and your children.
Literally everyone is caring, funny, and loyal after only a couple months. It's not snobby to have standards and it's ok to position yourself in a way that might help you achieve your goals.
Just because you vibe doesn't mean you're right for each other in the long run. I would break it off and find someone that has a similar timeline. Otherwise you're gonna be 33 with 2 kids and this dude is gonna be asking you to pick him up from his buddies house because he doesn't have the cash to take an uber.
Listen, you’re going to more than likely get shit on here, and honestly rightfully so. The thing is, your concerns are absolutely legitimate; you’re just presenting them horribly, and you also have a very illogical and quite frankly archaic idea of how healthy relationships should operate.
In saying that, let me back up and disclose that I’m a guy and I’m happily married. I also generally lean to the right for the most part, which I’m telling you so that you don’t just blindly make an assumption otherwise.
But let’s now focus on reality. You’re still essentially strangers and you’re mapping out your future. It’s not that these discussions shouldn’t happen, because assessing compatibility is literally the most fundamental aspect of finding a healthy relationship. The problem is that you don’t seem to understand what compatibility is.
You have a mindset that you should be a gentleman, treat women with respect, and be a good partner. Guess what? That’s exactly the mindset you should have. These should be baseline expectations. Now, I have a lot more regarding what I’m about to say next so keep reading, but you’re being dishonest when you say that you do all these things with no expectations followed by telling us you have physical expectations. You just need to acknowledge that.
But here’s the thing; it’s ok to want sex! It’s not faux pas. It doesn’t make you a bad person. You’re entitled to want as much sex as you want. On the other end, she’s entitled not to. Unfortunately, that means you’re sexually incompatible.
In your case, the deeper issue is you have this belief (as do many others), that because you’ve been a great person and partner, sex should be a foregone conclusion. That’s not how healthy relationships work. Sex shouldn’t be transactional.
You shouldn’t think she should want sex because you’ve been a great partner. She should want sex because she wants sex. She doesn’t want sex. This is where you become absolutely absurd.
You’re now trying to buy her affection. Why are you doing all this shit? I’m honestly not trying to be mean here, but I unfortunately need to be blunt; you’re being pathetic. I hate that I even said that. Honestly I’d rather you just PM me to talk this through.
But you’re going about all of this the wrong way. You’re sexually incompatible and fighting it. This isn’t something you can negotiate.
Wank louder with porn to assert dominance.
you are the same person you were before. it doesnt change who you are – just potentially your DNA.
Maybe talk to your mother on the side? ask her without your dad around ?
I want to, but she is not in a state now. She is very devastated about the miscarriage, but yes, I know that I don't have any future with her. I'm not in love with her and even if I take full responsibility for what I did I still resent her a bit. I have problems trusting her and I can't touch her without feeling sick. Something that has been a problem in our relationship because she's been wanting to sleep with me and I just can't do it most of the times.
Nah man you have every reason to be upset. She said it in a very destructive manner, no suggesting you to exercise more or eating more healthily, let alone offering to exercise with you or cook for you, or anything constructive and supportive of that nature. Just straight up ‘I’m not attracted to you anymore’.
Ouch.
Ask her to show you her favorite 20 Chinese films then tell her that the lack of diversity makes you uncomfortable 20 minutes in, every time.