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Kaya19 Public Chat Channel
Date: September 26, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
Kaya19 Public Chat Channel
I agree with your friends. Block him,no means no and he definitely took advantage of you and the situation. Rape can still be a thing between partners and former lovers and to me, that's exactly what it sounds like. He sounds like shit and I'm so sorry you went through this
Instead of telling her that cause she will vent to her friends and family about it when y’all are on bad terms….. say you like rough sex…….. and taking control say you want to be the cop while she is the kid ?
yes you're correct and i realize how petty i'm being. thing is, last year i was getting a lot of shit because i cooked my own food and brought it to dinner (i'm vegetarian, have been for years) as there wasn't an option without meat planned. there never is, at any gathering. then there were many occasions my siblings were visiting (we rarely see each other nowadays) and i got shit for not being there when no one told me they would be around.
and honestly, the reason i'm so mad about my mom including her bf's daughter so desperately is because she's constantly referring to his family as her “new family”. goes on and on about how she's got stuff planned with “the whole family” when none of my siblings or i are invited.
i've moved out years ago but no one has ever visited me at my apartments. not even asked to. if i don't call them, i hear nothing from them for months.
it's not actually about christmas, but being an afterthought for years and years. like no one even really cares. so yes i'm extremely petty about this but i also kinda think that if they actually wanted me there, wouldn't they at least show it in some way?
Not trying to make him feel bad. He started it showing he didn’t trust he by saying she “had to be lying” that he satisfies her in bed. It seems like he doubts himself so he thinks she’s going to cheat. There’s no real proof here at all just assumptions and he won’t know anything until he asks. If she cheated yeah break up with but like he’s gotta have the conversation first.
Then I guess you have to decide if you can live! with a partner who doesn't want to work. He can afford not to do so for the rest of his life so the question is whether or not that's cool with you in a relationship and if not, he's not the person for you.
It also depends on how many times it has happened. It was either a gigantic thing or it could have been a death by a thousand papercuts type thing. There comes a point where you just need to decide you are done for your own mental health.
I think that being open and direct is the best in situations like that. How do you feel about simply asking him about conversations that he doesn’t respond to? “I was wondering if our conversation sometimes becomes a bit too much (/too deep, /too awkward – however you feel it) for you?“
Take pictures. Email it to a few trusted people with a message not to tell your husband and delete the pics. Call the cops. Leave. As soon as he is asleep, leave.
You posted this yesterday and was told about leg lengthing surgery. You were also told by several men who had a growth spurt in college. I hate people who post the same thing multiple times and think Redditers don’t remember yesterday!
Unlike others I was NOT okay until the divorce talk. The texting is borderline but the sessions being twice as long as scheduled with no acknowledgement is very bizarre. There should be a clear line between patient and therapist, and she seems to be blurring the boundaries. I would not respect her authority as a medical professional if she were my therapist.
You despise the core of who she is: someone that feels and experiences the world around her on a very deep level. You took that and made her a villain, identifying her emotions as manipulative. She’s cut you off because she can’t trust you whenever she’s in a position of vulnerability out of fear of being chastised and torn down for being emotional in any capacity. You aren’t a safe person.
How to do you stay with a person that shows distain and dislike for who you are as a person?
Also, in what world do you have the right to police how your wife tells a story! On top of your self righteousness, you felt it was appropriate to “call her out” in front of other people. You purposely embarrassed her for what, because “you hate liars.” When in reality, EVERYONE seemed to grasp that it is done for theatrical flair but you. It seems you were too busy being judgmental and arrogant to read the room.
He knew you would be uncomfortable with the joke, why would he even bring it up? That’s just mean, and he’s showing no care to your feelings or insecurities. If he thinks that’s funny then keep it to himself, you made it clear you’re not comfortable with those jokes.
And the one about your leg vs his body… that’s not even a joke. How is that a joke? He’s just being straight up mean.
He’s really showing you a lot of disrespect, and it’s perfectly valid for you to feel hurt. I would have a serious talk with him about it. Tell him about your insecurities, and how his comments make you feel. If he thinks it’s funny or wants to laugh at your insecurities, he can find somebody else that fits his idealized image of a women’s body.
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She’s married or she’s engaged and doesn’t want you to find her.
The math ain’t mathing it..
Breakup and seek happiness elsewhere. Also start seeing a therapist. And lastly I would sue that doctor.
I’m so glad, he needed you to listen to him and to hear him. Canceling the venue (not the wedding, a postponement!) is what he needed from you. It’s never about the place or the date or even who’s there, it’s about the two of you and your love and respect for each other.
She has already said she will reconsider the relationship if you don’t marry her so she is the one giving the ultimatum. You are saying you don’t want to get married at all but need a prenup if you do and she says absolutely not and is not speaking to you. It seems pretty obvious how this marriage will go. Divorce is a given here. People get auto insurance not because they expect to get into an accident. They get it because accidents happen and they need to be prepared. Soery, but you both need to reconsider this relationship because it doesn’t look good.
Thanks a lot. I really think i needed to hear this!
He wants to wait until we have a house of our own and keeps putting off how long we will wait to try
Is that the real reason? Is 135k enough to buy a home? If so, has he made any moves towards buying one?
I think it's fair to say that he wants to at least be sure his child is cared for (since he is only on the fence breaking up because they have a child coming) and is just concerned about unfair division of labor. That is more reassuring than his partner
Part of being in a relationship is realizing what’s important to your partner and reinforcing that. He also said he was taking her out why should she ever have to pay in that scenario.
He purposely left his wallet hoping she would pay
Holy shit, good catch!
Somehow get over it. Idk just accept it
I edited not long before you replied. My math was indeed bad. But a 5 year gap is huge when you're talking about 18 and 25. She's clearly not mature enough even at 22.
I would never say never go back but this is way too soon. You have not had a chance to try other relationships yet and she is probably just rebounding after getting her first rejection. Tell her you are not ready and will meet her in another three months when you have both had a chance to get some distance.
After 6 months you'll both be better placed to know if your are compitible or just lonely.
She has not had time to appreciate what you had and genuinely miss you imo. She has not had time to date properly and move on so its not an active genuine choice at this point its a fear response. She will run again unless she is sure it you above ALL others she wants.
Try things with Eva and you'll at least get some perspective on your previous relationship.
I would never say never go back but this is way too soon. You have not had a chance to try other relationships yet and she is probably just rebounding after getting her first rejection. Tell her you are not ready and will meet her in another three months when you have both had a chance to get some distance.
After 6 months you'll both be better placed to know if your are compitible or just lonely.
She has not had time to appreciate what you had and genuinely miss you imo. She has not had time to date properly and move on so its not an active genuine choice at this point its a fear response. She will run again unless she is sure it you above ALL others she wants.
Try things with Eva and you'll at least get some perspective on your previous relationship.
I mean he’s here criticizing his wife while leaving comments like
If she told me directly that she did not want kids, not now not ever, obviously that would influence my feelings more than “maybe there's a small chance someday”
He has literally never expressed his desires either but she is the bad guy? Mmhmmm
I'm aware… That's my point…
All he’s going to do is gaslight you. Don’t give him any further chances to disrespect you.
The opposing opinion could be confirmation bias too. That’s a useless argument.
If you don’t want to ghost a simple “hi I’ve been thinking and realised this relationship isn’t working for me. All the best”. Then block and get tested. He doesn’t care how you feel or he would not have done this. So don’t tell him. Leave him wondering what he did wrong.
This will only work in places with single party consent. Otherwise this would be inadmissible evidence.
Ya I pretty much said “I'm not physically attracted to you anymore, it has to do with all the care and stress of home” paraphrase because it was last week.
Wouldn’t hyphenation solve that for both parents?
Honestly the not telling people I kinda understand. Don't know how you got married but maybe he doesn't wanna offend someone since they werent invited. As for the family if someone called if they were estranged dinner with a coworker will lead to much less questions then dinner with wife. For the other stuff sus as fuck. Google him and press him for it. Don't let it go even if he starts begging.
yup me too!
And what do you do when he hurts you again when he does it again?
No. It’s an issue. Right now it may feel insignificant because maybe the disagreements have been small. But when things get real, it’s going to be a real problem.
I’m sure she’s very nice otherwise… but these sort of half apologies really come down to ego and trying to protect one’s self from looking weak. At best it’s annoying. At worst, it’s sort of the first step towards gaslighting.
Well you started going out with a single bloke but now it’s a bloke with a kid. It’s up to you if you want to continue the relationship.
I love the sexism that makes guys pieces of shit if they don’t consider single parent mothers as partners. Everyone here is saying that a single parent father is a no go.
I would look at how your bf handles this situation and if he is a good father. Speaks volumes to whether you ever had kids or not.