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Jessika, 24 y.o.
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Date: September 21, 2022
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So, how does this resentment and jealousy play out, if you don't mind me asking? What is the reaction in your relationship?
I feel like a zoo keeper/ employee sometimes.
This sounds like insurance fraud and therefore is not part of Reddit's pay grade no matter where you post it here. You need to consult with a lawyer on this ASAP, especially since your wife is not only committing what sounds like a fraud but also keeping money from you.
This reads like a corporate email & a red flag. I would not get involved in this situation but it seems like you already made up your mind.
That's the same height as my bf and I. But my guy is also a bigger man in the fat department too. Still, that doesn't stop him from going on top and he really likes it too. Your bf doesn't really have a leg to stand on here.
To be honest, while he (intentionally) was a bit ambiguous about it, when he told you he “might be boys getting everything settled,” that was him telling you the deal.
When someone has an excuse to be busy from a general sense, you’re being blown off. You don’t tell someone that unsolicited when you’re interested in them.
Move forward, seek therapy for more insight into why you sabotaged the relationship. Maybe you subconsciously knew it wasn’t the right relationship for you, maybe you aren’t comfortable with stability. Regardless, it’s important to address so that next time you have more self awareness.
I honestly think you miss the part of how long can one try to make someone happy before they get to the fuck it part, what is an acceptable amount of time 1 year, 6 months end of time? If gonna focus on the fuck it statement might want to read it all it's been a while before I said I wanna say fuck it and go. I hope you understand that finally. If I was just gonna say fuck it I wouldn't have posted I would be in r/legaladvice asking for a damn lawyer.
As for changing jobs I'm gonna take a shot in the dark and guess you are either a trust fund child or someone who doesn't understand how the real world works with careers and records that I won't discuss here cause my criminal background are mine and mine alone
I'm sorry her very expensive education didn't teach her common sense.
I want you to understand that the BEST case scenario is your bf lying to you and Anne being real.
Otherwise, he is emotionally cheating on you with her, he prioritizes her feelings and he wants her to meet his mother… all this to a person who ISN'T REAL.
You are competing with his imagination. He needs to go to therapy and so do you after taking his shit for 4 YEARS.
Please get out now. He is clearly unstable, otherwise this wouldn't be a problem.
If you do decide to stay set boundaries. He needs to grow a spine, she needs to die in his mind and his mom needs to know his bullshit lie.
Thanx for the kind wordt!
Really hope you leave this woman. Once physical abuse starts it only ESCALATES. you need to fight for custody of your baby. You are being abused and you better pray to all the deities that she never ends up abusing your child. The fact that she tries to control your shower time is insane and then for her to “take hours long baths” wtf??? I don’t care if she is PPD. She is treating you like garbage. It’s time to split. It’s not healthy to raise a baby in that atmosphere.
Guy here, we are perverts to a certain degree at all ages puberty on up. Just have better self control at later ages
But at any age, gawking over his sister (even if she is a model) is just creepy….maybe the type of porn he watches had some influence, still not normal behavior
With other guys? Lol
No, no more than a relationship between a gay man and a straight woman is a homosexual relationship. But nobody is guilty for being who they are.
It might also be worth thinking that or balancing with his experiences. If you have had these fantasies for a while you have an image in your mind as to how it will go and have gone through that 100s of times – if he hasn’t had these ideas then they are new to him so don’t jump in at the deep end, work up to it.
If you ave some scarves then they are less intense that ropes or cuffs, but you need to under stand his current and maximum limits, there would be no use trying to get him to do something that is outside of his max limits but you can work on the current limits.
Did you work before being a SAHM? What was he like about finances then?
But she's not really alone. Her family is where she is. If the allergy is that bad, her sister and family can meet her in the hotel. They can go out together. The sister can put the cat away while she's there for dinner or gift giving.
It's not like she's in foreign country surrounded by strangers and she doesn't speak the language.
Sounds like she's trying to guilt trip you because you're with your terminally ill mother and not with her. That is not okay.
Nothing is normal about this situation.
Posting or not posting on intagram doesn't mean “supporting”
sounds like u have ocd of sorts. i have ocd so i have a few things that other people think are overkill like i wash my hands 500 times a day. like i gotta wash hands before i eat anything, and after eating. after i get out of the shower, before putting on lotion and skin care i wash my hands even tho i literally washed them not even a minute ago. it’s just something i do, and it feels important even know i know it’s technically unnecessary.
her not showering before bed isn’t gonna cause dust mites or cause some awful dirt build up. but she’s right it’s more psychological than physical for you. i personally don’t shower before bed anymore. i used to shower twice a day but in an attempt to lessen some of my germophobia ocd i’ve stopped showering at night. most women prefer morning showers cause we style out hair so we wanna wash it in the morning.
unless you’re willing to get over her not showering before bed or she’s willing to start showering before bed, u might just have to break up.
You sound immature. You and J simply hooked up under the pretext of both being single and “touch starved”. J never indicated to you once anything would occur from having sex, yet you read into and now want to punish him. If he really wanted a relationship with you he would pursue it. Because he isn’t he is signaling to you it was merely a hookup and nothing more. You two may evolve to like each other more but based off your story here he didn’t use you and you are reading way too much into everything because you have caught feelings. If you can’t be friends with him because of that the least you owe him is the truth or an explanation for ending the friendship. Also if he isn’t responding to you on text back off. He clearly has other priorities
A boy like as in a child?
They have permanent jewelry. You can go in and both get bracelets welded on. they can be welded off too
Also, the gangbangs are amazing.
You made the right decision.
Info: why can’t he do it himself? Obviously there is some reason why he needs you to. Is it due to a DVO or criminal history or something?
Except the post says coworker not boss, you're assuming its a boss. As for having the luxury of making moral judgments, yes that come with age and a mental breakdown from working in a toxic place like OPs boyfriend. My mental health is more important than covering for someone who is a sack of crap.
Your parents did their best for you with what they knew at that time.
Truly wild that you think you have any idea what my parents and childhood was like to make that assumption or really anything else you said in that paragraph.
I dint ask for a therapy session, so. thanks for that i guess. also crazy that you think MY ego is the problem when asking my parents “hey, why did you let that man literally abuse me and my brother and do nothing about it and then turn around and have a brand new family with some other guy and literally abandon me and my brother for 20 years?” again, this is what happens when you make assumptions about the hurt in other peoples lives. your experiences are not universal.
you just made up a whole bunch of arguments about the flower thing that we werent even talking about.
Dude I’d postpone. This shouldn’t be a debate.
Why would I want to go to the next level with a guy that I’m clearly not compatible with
cheezus chrust…i had no idea there were people like you out there. better think twice before i enjoy the taste of wine in the morning infront of a partner. shiiiiit, chill out. unless there are DEFINITE signs of him being an alcoholic or having an addiction or being wildly irresponsible…i think you might be overreacting a bit. like…if i awake and i'm getting ready for the day and there's leftover wine then i'll have a bit if i wanted, not to get drunk or tipsy, but it's calming to sip on something, and then also just for the flavor…but that doesn't mean that i can't control myself or that i frequently make bad decisions like drinking in the morning. he knows himself, he knows his threshold and what he enjoys, perhaps he is more responsible than you give him credit for. also, just because YOU WONT, dont mean you should judge he who does. i feel sorry for the potential partners you'll encounter in the future…no spontaneity…just a machine. you're probably gonna end up with a mirror for the rest of your life since the opposite of you disgusts you so much. but i guess it's called standards or something
You’re one month in – why commit?
yeah. hes being shitty with the terms of the prenup but youre allowed to want one before you marry someone, thats the whole point of them. you can be coercive in doing so but its not inherently coercive.
While I chuckled at this post, I'm also disheartened that it comes down to this. My ex told me that he felt like I really liked doing laundry and that's why he wasn't doing it. He was so grateful about letting me do the chores without realizing that I also worked just like him and that I could also be tired at times or not feelingg up to it. The other reasoning was that he wouldn't be able to do it the way I wanted him to. Erm, how hard is it to adjust the washer settings to the type of clothes you're washing? It was absolutely baffling.
He is married is my bet
I honestly got the vibe it wasn’t real when he described the whole wipe thing. What was the point of that detail?
Ooohhh if vi0lence was legal.
Step 1: break up with the bitch it ain’t no joke to have Herpes
Step 2: go get checked out immediately
Step 3: tell this friend what happened cause your gonna wanna reassure this person if they find out it was not their fault.
Step 4: don’t ever associate with this girl and the people who think she’s in the right again.
If it's ADHD I just want to point out no matter how much you point it out she might not ever be able to stop it. I drive myself crazy and when everything is going perfectly I can white knuckle through and almost never interrupt but it's practically impossible for me at least to completely stop.
And I hear myself do it and I hate hate hate it but it's still a physical struggle every time. In fact when I try to control it it's impossible for me to actually concentrate on the conversation itself which presumably is what you want both of you to be able to do (although I totally understand it might be enough for you to at least feel like you've got a full sentence out once in a while, and how she feels be damned!
My partner talks even more slowly, out of exasperation and trying to calm himself, when I get particularly bad but that just absolutely drives me up the wall. I instantly acknowledge that he's had enough and will redouble my efforts to control but we always end up blowing up at each other in mutual frustration.
The best thing I've seen, and experienced as the talker-over is to just not stop talking until you're finished BUT you have to do it completely controlled as though she literally isn't talking, do not speed up or down or speak louder or softer or pause or hesitate at all. When someone does this, I feel how rude it actually is and I apologise and stop talking, and for some reason find it easier and it doesnt make me defensive. Like you're a news reader doing a broadcast she wants to hear entirely.
I mean, she's just wrong. Hormones affect everyone on the planet, but it's kind of pointless arguing about it. If you're arguing all the time and she's dragging out arguments over days and weeks, then just end it. Neither of you are happy.
We do cuddle and kiss!
The heart wants what the heart wants. I get its sucky for you but its not directed at you. She gets to date who she wants without it being an ” act of betrayal ” to you. You were not a consideration
Sometimes poop happens and friends groups change. Its understandable you don't want to hang out with them, but there is no evil intent here
After this many years he owes that much. Ask him directly so you can move on
This right here ?.
I‘m sorry but what exactly are you asking / do you need advice for? This man is incredibly unfunny and racist. Your reaction is normal.
Why doesn’t this surprise me? Kick his ass to the curb. You’ll need a formal eviction. Start the paperwork now.
I think the only reason it concerns is because it’s not just, “heh, I’m looking forward to next weekend”. In my head it’s more like “god, I gotta go through this whole week before I see her again” even though “this whole week” is pretty exciting yet I still only want to see her.
Think I’m overthinking this the more I type. Realising how ridiculous it sounds to be worried why I’m looking forward to seeing her.
Appreciate your advice nonetheless, thank you. I think you’re spot on.
Exactly! She covered her bases.
100% not shallow, my guy. If there is such a big inequality that it causes you discomfort or resentment, then it wouldn't magically get better with time.
I dumped a girl I was crazy about because she had zero career ambition and the stress that came from the thoughts of me supporting the both of us and a future family on my salary alone was enough to scare me off.
100% not shallow, my guy. If there is such a big inequality that it causes you discomfort or resentment, then it wouldn't magically get better with time.
I dumped a girl I was crazy about because she had zero career ambition and the stress that came from the thoughts of me supporting the both of us and a future family on my salary alone was enough to scare me off.
100% not shallow, my guy. If there is such a big inequality that it causes you discomfort or resentment, then it wouldn't magically get better with time.
I dumped a girl I was crazy about because she had zero career ambition and the stress that came from the thoughts of me supporting the both of us and a future family on my salary alone was enough to scare me off.
In my last message to her I did say it she doesn’t respect this I won’t have a relationship with her anymore. But I just still don’t think sadly it’ll get through to her and I don’t want to not have her in my life. I just want her to stop mentioning religion.
I’m not but thanks
What does the letter say? How much detail? Do they want money for proof?
It could be someone else’s baby
Not every angry woman with a child has PPD, sometimes they just have a lack of sleep, new baby stress, and a husband that goes for the jugular during a pretty common argument.
It sounds like the concern is there being women there and your husband having a drinking problem. If you think he'll get drunk and cheat on you, him not going that particular weekend doesn't change those odds so much in the long run.
This might be a case where its better to take the L and move on. My froend was in a similar situation with a cop and things got much worse before they got….. well… not shit.
Okay… if this is what your peak relationship looks like, all you become, this is the next 5 years… are you going to be happy?
No.
You're going to be miserable.
Eventually breaking up because you'd rather be single, then neglected.
Then cursing yourself for wasting years on your life on a meaningless relationship.
So, you have two options really.
End it now. Get it over and done with. That way you're not wasting anymore of your time approaching 30s. Be serious with him and tell him… Hey, I am not happy with this. We need to fix this or you will lose me. I want more out of my relationship so you need to step up and start participating. I want to feel like you want to be with me.
Don't accept this as is… you will resent him and yourself down the road for wasting time on each other.
Relationships can be so much more, literally the best thing in your life type more.
Stop settling for this nonsense. Challenge it, correct it, or check out.
This is not okay.
Your vagina is not the problem.
Your 32 year old asshole is the problem.
Think about it for a second. Would you ever intentionally hurt someone during sex like this? Would you ever think to yourself “hmm this will feel good, I don't care if I physically hurt my partner in the process.”
Can you even imagine treating someone like that? I sure can't.
So she's rich but still stole 4 drinks from strangers?
That pretty much means she's gonna steal whatever she wants whenever she wants.
Plus she basically told you that.
She sounds like a terrible person.
It’s always nice when the trash takes itself out.
Do nothing. Don’t play into the drama. If you do anything at all, just tell your friend about the message. But honestly, she’s just an insecure drama queen. Don’t play into that.
I understand where she’s coming from. My husband and I were married 6 years before mutually agreeing to have a child. They got his last name of course, and when our some was one, my husband wanted a divorce. I’ve been raising our son, alone, and he has my ex husbands last name. I wish that weren’t the case.
I wouldn't marry someone who would do that to you. Beyond that you can only be honest. “I didn't cheat on her. I'm not even sure why this is happening.”
Maybe it's because men are used to taking snide comments from women, but it wouldn't even phase me if a woman made that joke. I would just say something snarky back and move on.
I’m not saying that it’s a certainty, but:
The baby trap is possible. Idk why the rule of three always seems to help sort things out, but here goes:
She’s already pregnant and she needs to “assign” an identity to the eventual father on the birth certificate.
She’s in a relationship and she wants a baby, but for some reason, conception has not occurred. Finding a pinch hitter is one of the oldest solutions out there.
She wants a baby and then wants you to get lost, or she wants a baby and then she will probably want you in the picture.
In both 2 and 3, finding a healthy younger man as a sperm donor is a quicker and less expensive method of conception.
That doesn’t mean that this is what’s going on, and I’m not judging anyone at all. If I’m not in their shoes, with their expectations and/or past experiences, I don’t dare do such a thing
He's really nice. He's the one will buy and pick out her bday gifts and sort of just say it's “from both of them” he's fine with talking and seeing her
Life is going to be way more messy and chaotic for you if you choose to love drug addicts AND become one yourself. I’m 35 and my best friend was doing Meth at your age. She was clean over a decade and now relapsed because of some life shit that happened. There is no good or positivity from meth. Stick to weed only. Get a job and a good influence guy. Why would you F up your life for some dude you just met???
There's always a possibility of anything happening. Every person and relationship is different, it's up to you both to figure out if you guys can make it work.