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Date: November 7, 2022
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I see. What can I do about this?
I feel like someone should give you actual advice!
Any difficult conversation where you have to express something in a serious way without hurting someone else has to start with recognising that person's feelings. If it were me, I'd go with something like
“I want you to know that I love you very much, and I've always found you very attractive. I appreciate that you're enjoying your new facial hair styling, and I support the decisions you make and will continue to do so. However, I have tried to put this across to you in other ways and I'm not sure if you've heard what I'm trying to say so I would like to try to discuss your mustache in a way where I've made my feelings clear so you can make a decision knowing the potential ramifications. I find your mustache unattractive and it is creating a barrier for me that is causing me to be hesitant about intimacy with you and I don't want that. While it is your body, it would mean a lot to me if you would consider shaving the mustache so that we can lift that barrier, in the same way that I don't cut my hair short as to ensure I'm at my most attractive to you. What are your thoughts?”
I'm an actual married woman and I can tell you I'm 100% with you about taking your partner's physical preferences into account when deciding how you should present yourself. My husband isn't keen on dark lipstick, so I don't wear dark lipstick on date night, it is not a big deal like some other comments are suggesting.
I'm sorry, I didn't see at first that you'd said “got clean”.
The passage of time is the only thing that will help. She'll have to see that you're staying clean and are not lying about anything. (Addicts lie, but I'm going to assume that's not your normal character trait). And she has a child to take care of, so she has to put them first. So it's going to take a while if she's smart.
Congratulations on your sobriety though. You can keep it up…just stay clean one day at a time.
You won’t be celebrating by yourself. Virtual party on social media.
Your graduation ceremony was set on a specific date. You had no control over that date. Their wedding can happen any day, any time- they chose to inconvenience you.
Anyone can get married. Not many people graduate medical school.
So he moved out three months ago to immediately live with you? We’re you guys having an affair? The way you describe the timeline, that sounds like a distinct possibility. Were you friends before he moved out? It kind of sounds like you’re the side piece and he moved in with you when things blew up at his home. I’m not accusing you of anything, I’m just saying that could be deduced from the timeline.
I havr , and a grown ass man threatening to beat up a woman is indeed terrible advice.
As is all the “Bully her back!” advice.
Your boyfriend is searching the internet for women who he sees as sexual objects. He objectifies women. Honestly, this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. If you look deeper into this you might see that he dehumanizes women on a general basis. It's misogynistic and patriarchal tbh. I would dump him…