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hardworkertn, 38 y.o.
Location: Tennessee, United States
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Date: September 26, 2022
Sometimes when people overthink things, and are insecure, they end up being the ones who are aggressive, insulting and harassing to their friends, and they pretty much cause their friends to have to cut them off because of the very behavior that is happening because their friends are worried they're cutting them off.
Having to constantly reassure someone you like them when you have given them no indication you don't is absolutely exhausting mentally and emotionally.
Having someone passive aggressively respond as though you have been ignoring them or pushing them away, when you haven't been, pisses you off because it's unfair and makes it feel like you have to constantly defend yourself.
When you obsess about minor interactions for weeks or months, and then refer back to them as bigger than they are, that can make someone concerned about how balanced you are and whether you're able to respond appropriately in normal friendship situations.
You need to take a step back, take a deep breath, and taker her at her word. You need to stop sending “woe is me” or “why do you hate me” messages to people to manipulate them into reassuring you or responding faster. You need to let small interactions go and not keep re-hashing them. You need to stop making people tell you over and over again that you're ok. Because if you don't, this is the behavior that drives people away.
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I don’t get to talk or see him as often as I would like to but we do try to do both as often as we can
If you wanted something more it was your job to say so. Now she wants to end the FWB status. Rule: if you allow FWB in the first place, you must be willing to give it up if the partner wants that. No conflict, no tears, just be cool about the change.
FWB ends up being a mistake for a lot of people. A lot of times, someone gets feelings, and they aren't reciprocated. Next time, start anything like this with your eyes wide open and use your words to move a relationship along.
I've been there all these years to get her out of the dark place and now when I'm in the dark place I have no one to help me get out of it. I'm never been so certain in life but now it's all crushed. How do I keep moving forward? I don't see a point in moving on
You could just be honest and say blood bothers you. Or you can be thankful that you can still visit pound town when many women refuse their men that week.
Is this something your wife would do? It sounds like a lot of effort. Have you had a conversation with her about it?
I had a girl in tinder today do the same. And when I asked later how the date was she said “sex was pretty good. But don’t think I’m gonna see him again.”
Honesty is good. There is such a thing as oversharing. Especially early in meeting each other. If she said “it was a good! Don’t think I’m gonna see him again,” she wouldn’t have been lying
Love makes people blind unfortunately. I will be making the best out of the situation though thank you for commenting i really appreciate it.