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I think it's totally possible! My close family member lost his wife after 51 years of marriage. After about a year, he wound up meeting a wonderful woman (also a widow) and they wound up married within about 6 months. I would normally have concerns about this quick timeline, but she's 100% financially independent, very caring, generous with her time and affection, and pretty much the kindest person I've ever met. They make each other so happy; it's a joy to see them together.
I believe you can find something similar! I wish you the very best of luck; you deserve happiness!
my mom and her mom agreed to help us
You have TWO grandmothers living either rent-free or close to rent free and you still need a 7K a month nanny?
“you have to do your full time job, the babies are hers” and that she’s just tired which makes her “bitchy”
Oh, so one of the original “helpers” is a critic. Well, at least we know where her depression stems from. While I think you are carrying the financial load and in no way should be giving up your own self-care (eating well & exercising) the current set up clearly isn't helping your wife get there. Either she needs new meds and a new therapist and this is really bad PPD talking, or the grandmothers' collectively should be pulling far more weight based on their living situation.
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