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Model from: co
Languages: en,es,pt
Birth Date: 2000-12-11
Body Type: bodyTypeAverage
Ethnicity: ethnicityLatino
Hair color: hairColorBlack
Eyes color: eyeColorBlack
Subculture: subcultureStudent
Date: November 18, 2022
A lot of people are like you tbh. You’re comfortable if you’re the one in control of the touching/flirting/etc but not if the other person reciprocates or initiates. It sounds like he took it well and understood when you did communicate your boundary, and was willing to hold you and himself to the same boundary.
I’d say if you had responded after he communicated with you and he took a few weeks of space, and he still breached your boundaries, you’d absolutely be right in being upset. But it also sounds like he took admitting it was his “mistake” even though he didn’t believe it was on him, and then communicated his need from you of better communication.
It all boils down to communication. You honestly sound a lot like my fearful avoidant ex lol. It’s hot to take cues and follow their lead when that’s not what they are expecting of you, and you don’t even know it.
I think it’s best if you work on letting this one go, and work on improving how you communicate your needs and boundaries in the future. People notice little differences! My ex has been pursuing me again, and I can tell that work has been put in to improve communication since we broke up (one of the things I asked for and said I needed). It’s not MORE communication necessarily, which is good with me as an introvert, but it’s INTENTIONAL and it comes BEFORE there is action or a boundary, not afterwards. I’m not having to try to pull things out just to get a simple “I need some space” or “hey I’m home and safe”, or dealing with radio silence when they needed to deal with something or to decompress and didn’t know how to tell me they needed it. It’s huge.
Yeah, I also have ADHD and some days a shower feels like a huge task and others I can’t get anything done unless I do it. Depends on the day.
You can’t make her hear what you’re saying.
Instead, continue to encourage her to continue. Ask her specific questions about why she doesn’t think she can teach music. If she still wants to teach music, what does she think she’d need to do to be able to do that?
Listen to her. Don’t dismiss her concerns. They are very real to her. Try to get specific about her concerns, do not try to problem solve.
Age has a lot to do with this, I think. It takes time to figure it all out.
There’s probably 6 other men giving her money. Run. You don’t owe her your paycheck.
She sexually assaulted you behind your back. GTFO before what she is doing works. Save the evidence you have that she did this to you. This is evil and beyond.
Your brother didn’t care enough about your accomplishments to check the date why would you care about his wedding?
You’re definitely not overreacting. That is outrageously inappropriate.
I’m glad he’s agreed to tell her about you, and based on her response and reaction, you should be able to get a pretty solid picture of what her intentions were for inviting him out to dinner. Also consider whether you can trust your boyfriend’s judgement and intentions if it does turn out this was a ploy to sleep with him, they were together for 9 years and he doesn’t know what she’s doing? How long ago did they split up?
Just be the one asking him. Shy or introverted guys who are scared to do the first step exist, and it's okay. Go tiger!