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Eva, 25 y.o.
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Date: September 19, 2022
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I think you’ve said a lot of true things here. I am very tired. I have a lot to think about. Thanks for your help :’)
Depression can be debilitating. Don't let his depression destroy your life. Separate residences gives him the opportunity to get back on his feet without turning you into his mom/caretaker. Stop financing him. (You may help him find other financial resources i.e. move back in with family, unemployment, etc)
I disagree about evidence of a physical affair. It isn't necessary. She's thrown away her marriage without that evidence, already.
Came here to say this. I was in a similar situation and I'm proud I stuck by my guns and said this. I felt empowered.
Well personally i like when the guy pays, that doesn't make me a bad person. She was straightforward with what she wants
He might mean it when he says he loves you, he might not. The big thing for me is that this behaviour is harmful to the both of you, sounds extreme, and sounds like it has no signs of stopping or improving. Unless he's making noticeable steps towards improvement I couldn't be with someone like that for very much longer.
I would subtly as the girlfriend about it and see her response. If she looks at you confused just say oh that wasn’t you. Then it must of been and say the Bf name.
I think if you only read your post again 2 to 3 times, you get your answer, don't even need outside input.
You should seek individual therapy so you won't fall back in the same patterns with the next guy OP
He's three years older than me, and was born in Texas, I was born in Arizona, he and his family moved to Arizona, then Shortly after I graduated high school we started dating, then he and I moved to Texas. Comprende?
Just because she texts you doesn't mean you have to reply. YOU have control over your responses. Shut her down immediately.
She’s not a soon to be gf if she’s not exclusive with you first. Exclusivity comes first. The fact that you allowed her to bring this conversation up while tolerating her trip tells me that both of you don’t view each other seriously. Stress the importance of being serious to each other. Otherwise you’re just a FWB with a GF/BF tag
No, they struggle with empathy and defensiveness so when I stop trying to discuss it and just scroll on my phone instead of “carrying on” they want the unpleasantness to go away without doing anything to resolve it and want me to just talk to them and be in a good mood
She really isn't the problem here, you know that right?
Some parents just don't deserve our respect, it's sad but true. It's her life ffs.
“Divorce is an option too, she isn't put in prison with this guy.”
That's the worse, OP will divorce her husband bc he's a burden to her? then why get married in the first place.
Thank you for taking the time to read my previous post. It really means a lot to me. I've had an overwhelming amount of conflicting emotions regarding sharing my story, especially since I feel like an idiot for letting something like this happen to me in the first place. I just don't want to be judged, you know?
And while I can understand why so many people would assume that I want to reconnect with my ex-fiance, it's just not the truth.
Conan Gray said it best in his song “Family Line. “Someone who loves you wouldn't do this”, and I completely agree with that sentiment. If my ex-fiance had truly cared for me and was “the one”, he would have never done what he did to me. Does that make sense?
Navigating loss is a difficult process. Regardless, I'm beyond thankful for everyone listening and providing input. It makes me feel a lot less alone in everything. So, thank you. So much.
Late Feb is not a couple more weeks.
That’s really sad for you.
That sounds exactly like what I do at the bar. At least the bad behavior it seems like is being read a bit too deep into.
It’s a big mistake though if it does happen
I thought equal chance that there was some type of physical relationship or that she made some type of lawsuit threat so he is paying her to go away.
The fact that she doesn't work at the office anymore screams blackmail more than relationship. I have seen a number of inter office relationships between owners and employees. Owners usually want them in the office when the relationship is going strong.
And why so? Communication is bad?
Thank you lmao he's so fuckjng dumb I'm losing braincells
Sam Elliott has the best moustache ever. I gotta say I like Jason Lee with a moustache, though.
Seens like he might also have a low libido in general.
I feel a bit conflicted there cause he tries to make tome for me, and isn't (imo) egocentric at all. But when we are spending time together he's always so glued to the phone that it hurts, its like I don't have much to give
I'm also a very anxious insecure person, so it might be my perception of it
We had only been together for about 6 months but within that time frame we built so much together, she was staying with me alot, we adopted a cat together, we basically lived together when she wasn’t at work.
Not overreacting. Thats ridiculous and disrespectful to you
This happened to me with my ex, she gained weight and was lazy/depressed. I lost attraction and when she begged to revive our relationship she promised to lose weight
That made our relationship toxic afterwards
Either do it for yourself or find someone who doesn’t care about weight.
What was the content of the messages?
I am just worries what he might do with them when I do confront him
How do you explain her letting her kid whine for takeout?
Neither scenario is reasonable if there's no communication about what's happening and it sounds like OP's husband has never said anything about this. A lot of women ask their partners to help out more, or whatever, and then get ignored.
Your girlfriend is a complete loser.
Thank you for your reply. I haven’t thought if it this way. Although, we could have replaced the VR-set if it were to be broken, we don’t have a ton of money laying around so it would have sucked. I asked him today if this was why he reacted this way and he said that was the case.
He also understood where I was coming from and said that that if he thought that something was really wrong with me, he would have helped me first. Luckily, I only twisted my ankle so it wasn’t life threatening or anything.
Although I still don’t think I was overreacting, I do understand his point of view now. Thanks again for your insight. It really helped us to understand each-other more.
I just don’t vent to my friends who are going through something. If they are and I don’t know about it, they don’t really have to engage at all or just say “sorry x is going on”
We don’t expect immediate replies though, ever. When we text we aren’t carrying on a real-time conversation most of the time, and if we are we can stop replying at any time without notice. It’s just understood that we have other things going on – work, kids, etc. So if I rant at my best friend about something at work it’s totally fine if she replies 8 hours later or the next day or whatever. And unless we have something to say about the situation, we can just reply “that sucks” “oh fuck him”. I mean, we aren’t each other’s therapists.
Hoes be hoein, be thankful that you are out of the relationship.
Sounds like you'll need to decide if you want a future with that money fixated arsehead, that watches you struggle and then has the audacity to complain. Or if you want to start over. Find someone new. Be happy. He's making you miserable from what I've read. That's not what it should be like. Ask yourself what you want from the future.
It sounds like you've been through a lot and have experienced some very difficult situations in the past. It's understandable that you would be hesitant to trust someone and that you would be feeling uncertain about your current relationship. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and to make sure that you feel safe and respected in your relationship.
Based on what you've shared, it seems like there have been some concerning behaviors from your boyfriend, such as gaslighting, making sexual jokes despite knowing your boundaries, and arguing with you about racism. It's important to take these behaviors seriously and to talk to him about how they make you feel. It's also important to set clear boundaries and to make sure that they are respected.
If you don't feel comfortable talking to your boyfriend about these issues or if you don't see any changes in his behavior, it might be time to consider ending the relationship. You deserve to be in a relationship where you feel safe, respected, and valued, and it's okay to prioritize your own well-being over a relationship that isn't meeting those needs.
It's also worth considering seeking support from a therapist or counselor to help you process your past experiences and to navigate your current relationship. They can provide you with tools and strategies for setting boundaries, communicating effectively, and prioritizing your own well-being.