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I bet she cheats on you and forgot you were there.

I don't know about you but my routine when I get home is to change into comfy clothes, wash and moisturize my face, maybe do my evening stretches. That would be enough time for him to make a serious dent in a sink of dishes. If you do anything similar, you could give him a “last minute” warning: he gets tf off the computer right away and does the dishes while you get ready to cook or is on his own for dinner.

There's also lots that even a poor cook can do to help prep dinner (chopping veggies, fetching and putting away ingredients, washing as you go). He could also set an alarm on his phone, say an hour before bed, to remind him to go do the dishes if he hasn't already.

Those are both more conciliatory/kinder than I think he deserves, tbh. I'd rather be single than tolerate someone treating me like that. It's not the dishes, it's that you said “I'm struggling and this is important to me” and he couldn't spare 20 minutes to make a huge difference in your mental health. I know that sometimes we feel that we're being petty because it's just dishes, but it's actually about whether you can trust and depend on your partner. There's nothing bigger than that.