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Room for on-line sex video chat BonnyundClyde19
Model from: de
Languages: de
Birth Date: 1991-03-16
Body Type: bodyTypeAverage
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color: hairColorBlack
Eyes color: eyeColorBlue
Subculture:
Date: September 5, 2022
It’s not bad to be frugal and to use your clothing (and mend it) until it falls apart. I am less happy about the pots and pans. You are right, they should be exchanged, for health reasons. But you have to let him make his own mistakes if he doesn’t want to take advice. And possibly walk away if you can’t live with his decisions.
But if he doesn’t treat you right, that’s when you have to make a decision whether he is really worth it.
Unless you are a fantastic actress, he probably already has suspicions. Maybe that is part of the problem? He senses things are awkward, but doesn't know what to do about it.
Just talk to him about what you want to do differently.
Jesus Haploid Tittyfucking Christ, you are a random neighbor on the internet, but that post makes me feel compelled to go get you and bring to my house for your own safety, sight un-fucking-seen. THAT IS HOW SERIOUS THIS IS.
Let's recap, with my “Official Internet Auntie” hat on:
You are 23 years old, which is just on the edge of “date for perpetuity” territory (at least in lowest common denominator North American culture). He is 21 years old, which is honestly still in “figuring what you want out of relationships” territory, and only just out of high school dating. In other words, marriage really shouldn't be in the realm of practical choices for you two in the first place.
You were having a discussion about hypotheticals. I cannot stress enough that this conversation was in the same class as my husband and I pondering if our apartment is a viable safe refuge from a zombie apocalypse. (Answer: No, but our old one was.) This was an inherently unserious conversation, and he should have known that.
Your best case scenario is “he was joking”. “Jokes” about committing violence against a specific person are not jokes, they are threats. People you purportedly care about about should not be the target of threats.
But he was serious! Holy shit, OP… Look, the only space of truly unfettered freedom any of us have is the space between our own two ears, because that's the only space free from external consequences. I find it deeply, horrifying concerning that he expends brainpower on formulating detailed fantasies of interpersonal violence and revenge. But it is vastly more concerning that he thinks it is OK to voice those fantasies to another human being. That tells me he's done it before, and that tells me two things: he thinks that “family annihilation in a murder/suicide” is within the range of normal/appropriate responses and he has ALREADY crossed the first barrier between thinking that thought and actually doing it.
You need to end the relationship for your own safety, because you have no idea what other actions he'd response to with interpersonal violence, or how close he is to actually harming someone. You owe him nothing: no closure, no goodbye, no chance to explain. Just ghost him.
“I love you, but I am not attracted to men of any kind. I cannot continue with this relationship, and I cannot in good conscience marry you on the back of a stream of lies to everyone else I love. However, I do still love you and if you don't want me to tell anyone else yet then I will respect that.”
i’m ready to leave him if he doesn’t know after SIX YEARS.
Do exactly that. He is finding excuses not to marry you
This needs to be the top comment.
If you find out a friend stole from you a year ago, but you just found it out, would you not allow yourself to process and react to that how you would for a friend stealing from you today?
Because that is essentially what you are saying. You recently found out that he lied to you, hated your boundaries, and didn't respect you. But because he did it that long ago but you didn't find out until now, you aren't allowed to react?
So if anyone just lies or hides something from you for long enough, it's OK? You are rewarding them for how long they can lie and hide things from you?
I’m doubting that.
I know the guy only by name, and from the little I know he's not exactly a pillar of honesty
That's fair, I think. I would feel a bit weird about it in that case, if I was feeling very close to that person and thinking about them a lot it would feel like that wasn't being fully reciprocated.
Do you think it's something you could work through, or not really? I don't think it indicates that she's untrustworthy or anything, you guys weren't exclusive, so it would be a shame to let a good thing go. But you can't help what you feel, if it's too much that's understandable
Leave… she doesnt respect u or your relationship and is wanting to spend free time w a ex? You sat by and waited a turn and she used u as a bookmark to fill time till the next pos would come and treat her like trash… get out now.
I think the main thing to consider going forward is whether you can trust your gf moving forward. She was not truthful with you about this sexual encounter, and it's possible that she may have lied about other things as well. You'll need to decide if you're willing to work on rebuilding trust in the relationship or if this is a dealbreaker for you.
I have a job, he doesn't want me to expand business because he is threatened by other males. Also, I've had several good job offers, but responsible with the kids imposes with the hours. If have to work min wage from what I've found
So you’re worried about his mental state and has tried to help him with the basics of getting out of a funk, but he is not motivated to do anything. You’re feeling the toll of his mental state.
Let me ask you this: If his house was on fire right now, what would you do? This is a serious question.
I made a vow to never date a man who has close friends that are female that he used to have feelings for.
And what if the man has a close female friend who he is not attracted to? Would you believe him, or assume that he is lying?
Boyfriend touches me sometimes and I’ve told him before I don’t like it but he says he has wandering hands. She gets upset when I get angry over these things so I just shut down
Ah, sexual assault and your wife is manipulating you into allowing him to assault you.
You're in a toxic and abusive situation OP.
OP reveals her BF was cheated on by an ex via snapchat when it went round his college.
So that seems like a reach.
Honestly, the fact that he doesn’t hang out with his own friends without you is concerning, on top of him possibly not understanding that it’s healthy and encouraged to have friendships outside of the romantic relationship between you two. In addition, you should not have to pay and drive all the time. That is ridiculous and unfair to you. It sounds like heavy possibly take advantage of the fact that you do hat all the time. (I had a boyfriend like this in high school and it was awful.)
I would have a serious conversation with him about boundaries and equal contribution when it comes to favors like drives and money. If he still is against it, I’d consider leaving.
All of what you said sound like red flags to me. I understand wanting to give him the benefit of the doubt, which is why I suggest a conversation. But, I wouldn’t want you to stay in a relationship that could possibly be toxic once you realize these flags.
Good luck!
Ok, I honestly thought I was until this comment. And just now looked at the subreddit. Holy fuck, this woman
Unfortunately no. I don’t ask for anything on her end at all. The first time I did, she told me it’s not the same and she’ll never ask me to change again since I’m holding it against her. That was some time in the past. I do everything I absolutely can in every love language there is but this one issues trumps everything. It’s outrageous too me. My fix was for her to ask me if she wants to know these things but she is “tired of prying” information out of me. Which she realistically isn’t. Asking how my day is or how a conversation was, isn’t prying information to me but it is to her. I’m guessing this is an issue that’s going to cause problems for a while.
The guy can finally get a bj.
Thats exactly what narcs do. You are a human being. You make mistakes. From the sounds of it, you've bent over backwards trying to fix those mistakes, as well as “mistakes” that he's made up. You. Are. Not. The. Problem. You are a hurting soul worthy of receiving the same amt of effort that you give to others (which he's stated very clearly that he isnt going to do).
Im sorry about your car, I hope you're not having to worry about physical injuries on top of all of this!
In the meantime, try doing some positive affirmations, starting when you start your day and repeat them throughout. Things like “I am good”, “I am worthy of love and respect”, “I am stronger than I think”, etc. Write them down and read them if saying it out loud feels too weird at first and work your way up to saying them aloud.
Unfortunately that would be tricky. She has some severe allergies to a lot of foods on top of being vegan so I am not even sure where we could get dinner. She pretty much only cooks. We grabbed lunch at I'm pretty sure the only place that she dines out at. I think it would be somewhat lame to go there again.
It's because this sub is ridiculously sexist against men. So naturally the woman can't be wrong, must be that the evil man made her do it.
Oh…I'd think about this well and good. If she's the type to get into heated arguments without thinking of her safety, or yours, this is something to think about…
He may react a certain way due to his own upbringing. My husband is now coming to grips w the fact that his parents messed him up and shut him down so he does the same. It's conditioning that's hot to escape.
Honestly, it's been a struggle at times when he spirals and shuts down, like when he was a kid.
What I've said in the past is that “If you won't talk to me, then I can't help you or the situation. If you want to ignore me, that's your choice. But I will not be here for whatever this is. I'm not your enemy. Stop treating me like I am. I'm going for a walk / drive (whatever).” Then grab your purse and go clear your head. I have often found going to a drive thru and getting a sm french fry and sitting in my car and enjoying the hard, salty, crispy fries gave me enough time to not be mad at him, for being mad at me.
I've also gone on hikes or went to the beach or library alone.
My strategy is this. 1. Difuse the immediate situation if he's shut down or if he shuts you down. (leave the room, apt, etc.) 2. Start therapy for you. 3. Schedule a couples therapy session after you've gone to yours for a while. He has to be on board AND willing to participate or it's just a waste of time and money. 4. Share articles or info on specific things. Like you becoming overwhelmed w too much info.
It's a process. I've been married forever and we're still trying to be better partners to each other while NOT downplaying our own needs. But your bf has to be willing to communicate rationally and calmly or it'll be fight, make up, repeat this again and again until we die.
That's not living, that's just waiting for the next time…
If he's gonna pay 1/2 the mortgage, he should get 1/2 ownership with the exception that if the house sells in the event you break up, he gets half of everything EXCEPT the amount you put down to secure the house. ?
You can feel however you like about, but how would you feel if your bf had fought for you and was badly hurt or even killed.
I get you want him to play the hero, but people get killed over stuff like this.
You need help bro
I'm envious! 🙂
You see him as a fuck buddy he sees you as a girlfriend. Proceed accordingly.
Ma’am you’re not using logic and reason, you’re being defensive and condescending.