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Date: October 26, 2022
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If you laid it out for him the same way you laid it out here, you might give him some more time to show you a change.
You don't have to make a scene or lose your cool, but if you feel like allowing him another chance, you can make it clear that his one opportunity to stay together will be based on his actions.
You can have no faith in his word. He proved to you that he has no integrity. Instead of coming to YOU, and talking about his feelings for his ex, he secretly rekindled his emotional connection to her. He knew there was something there, and he fanned those flames rather than dousing them. He also violated a primary rule he put down himself, and didn't even blink. Tells you everything you need to know.
But if he wants another chance, he will also have to cook, clean, and pull his weight. There is a chance part of his mooning after his old gf is because he (consciously or not) feels bad about being a dependent mooch on you, and wants to remember the Good Old Days when he was still on top. If so, the answer is to work harder in his relationship with you rather than on-line in the past.
But if you simply fired him without any further explanation, that would be good, too.
The court may view that as neglectfulness on your part. Since he's her biological father it won't be viewed as a kidnapping, and he'll be able to get full custody.
Sounds like this is for the best for all involved broski. Yes you were toxic as hell. It's important to acknowledge that. Breaking up gives you the opportunity to work on yourself and resolve these problems so you're not bringing them with you into the next relationship. The common theme among all of this is that you didn't feel worthy of her and that created intense feelings of insecurity. The solution to that is increasing your self confidence and sense of self worth.
Your past has no bearing on you today nor does it define your future. I have much the same background. Use your experience as fuel to achieve great things so you don't feel inferior when compared to your partner. Hit the gym, work on your appearance, practice good hygiene and strive to develop a career and personality you can be proud of. At the end of the day you're still young broski. Relationships with high school sweethearts don't often end well anyway because neither party has fully grown into their adult versions. Take this time to reflect and improve.
Im going to solve your problem right here.
Your husband loves you and you love him.. your only real problem is.. you have no Idea what the word “love” means..
Love is not a feeling, its not words you say. Its a behavior. Its HOW you do things. McDonald's makes me a sandwich. My wife makes me a sandwich, with love… Love is an action. Taking care of you while sick, enrolling you in school, all the things you listed are examples of him loving you. You cooking his favorite foods, etc, are you loving him. Youve been loving each other, now you are developing attraction to him.
That being established. Cast off your stupid cruel morally bankrupt religious grooming, if hubby wants to fuck other girls, and youre not jealous or opposed based on fake religious logic, the r/polyamory community would welcome you with open arms. Love your husband, let your husband love you, and let him find love with others as well. If it aint broke, dont fix it..
As for you, I'd encourage you to developing your own comfort with your own sexuality. I recommend starting with masterbation and watching/reading pornography. You were trafficked and raped as a young teenager, and it ruined sex for you. Sex is awesome for those of us with a healthy relationship with our bodies. You are stunted, and need to catch up with the rest of the adults..
Watch More Porn is rarely the answer to anyone's problems.. Others will certainly recommend therapy.. but.. for. you.. porn.. porn is the real solution here.
People grow apart. It happens.
Given that yours was a long-term marriage, though, with yourself as the breadwinner, expect the court to find that you owe your ex alimony. Consult a divorce attorney at once to find what you need to do to improve your outcome.
Oh I haven’t dated in over 17 years lol
I'm so sorry that happened to you, and yes, it was definitely rape. You did not consent, and he used force to get you to comply. Even if you aren't comfortable pressing charges, please break up with him, the choking is extremely concerning and indicative of future abuse.