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squirt show at goal, i love privates and watching cams! [1979 tokens remaining]
Date: September 30, 2022
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squirt show at goal, i love privates and watching cams! [1979 tokens remaining]
He's the one who is lying. Obviously no one is the keeper of what everyone thinks.
The one thing you don't have to accept is remaining in a marriage you're not happy in.
Why the heck are you dating a sweet boy while keeping in touch and still not over your ex. LEAVE HIM ALONE! HE DOESNT DESERVE TO BE TREATED LIKE A CHOICE OR A REBOUND! Your ex is an ex for a reason. Do not go back to him. Get your shit together. Do you have respect for yourself and your new boyfriend? Don’t date people you aren’t ready to date. People like you are so selfish.
Me and my wife are the same as you two. I used to have the bad habit of drinking too much with the boys and coming home smashed. She would threaten me with adult diapers to sleep with and constantly badger me to use the facilities. After multiple nights out and her telling me to drink water and use the bathroom before bed it just became a force of habit. I still go out and drink but now I just know to use the bathrooms as much as possible when I’m home.
Do i got so much karma?
Agree. I’ve also made the point that he is so worried about his friend – even though his friend probably visits this brothel on a weekly basis – that he enables all of his extra curricular activities that could very well give him a heart attack. It makes no sense. But my partner also lacks a lot of common sense
Take this “opportunity” to get help. Only the help you need is probably different from what both you think is needed. Just based on what you say here you are headed for an unhappy union. You have grown apart, lost intimacy (emotional) and want different things. Now is a good time for both of you to re-prioritize. A counselor can unpack those things and try to broker a compromise between you two. So go do that – your bedroom problems are only a symptom of the bigger problems that exist. If you fail to compromise then sure a separation might be the result but better to try than stay in this situation.
So you skipped out on your 3 month sperm count test?
You have horrible communication. Instead of asking Reddit.. ask HIMMM
Does any of this sound healthy to you?
Like if someone you cared for you and told you all this would you think, well that's a relationship worth saving?
All of these are valid questions. Every detail op mentioned sounds suffocating to me
Nothing else to do really.
This part bothers me greatly:
but as an abuse survivor, I know what he's doing. I don't let it get to me. That's why I laugh.
So you know that's he's abusive, and pretty much only six months in, but rather than leave you choose to laugh about it in the hopes of what exactly? That he will stop because it's not working and then turn into the perfect boyfriend?
Why would you want to stay with someone deliberately trying to destroy your self-worth?
Your update makes me happy. This is textbook psychological abuse. My mom's boyfriend from years ago gave me advice that rings true 20 years later. You don't know someone until you've known them for six months. Every relationship I've had in my life has reflected that advice as six months has always been the switch flip for those it fit.
My girlfriend and I broke up. I asked her what women wanted. She said attentive lovers or a tent of lovers. I wasn’t really listening.
I feel like its unrealistic too but she always want us to do things and i was alone for along time and i like being alone and stuff be she wants to do every single thing with me, she even used to stop me playing videogames cuz it was distancing me away from her.
Lmao. Folds laundry a couple times and starts asking where the ring is.
You can't change her. You need to accept that she is asexual. You said you feel like you're assaulting her when you initiate and you're kind of right. You know she doesn't want it. And you do. You guys are incompatible on a fundamental level. This relationship is not going to work. You need to make the difficult choice, which will be better for both of you in the long run, and end it.
Oh my god what the hell? He is insulting and disrespecting you. He is doing this on purpose and it’s about power dynamics and control, he wants to diminish your worth so that you feel lucky to be with him. I wonder how he’d react if you talked about a really super very hot sexy guy that you liked and how you would have dated him instead of you’d met him before your bf. There is a double standard going on here he feels he can say whatever he wants and you really can’t let him do that because it will get worse. “The most beautiful girl he’s ever seen” is insulting to you. Have self respect and tell him he crossed a line. But more than that think carefully about this guys intentions is he just a tactless moron or is he trying to put you in a position where you’re on your toes and grateful for his attention. Sounds abusive to me because there’s no need to say the things he said
Hate to say this but you need to end it… tears are for himself bro g caught not for you!
And that whole “partner” word is what needs to be addressed.
Updateme
[Okay, NOT a medical professional so I am NOT offering any medication advice, just my own experience]
I remember being in your wife’s shoes a few years ago. Doctor put me thru a number of antidepressants before finding the one that worked best for me / best tolerated. I was in a high pressure profession along with the sleep deficit that comes with it (though statistically MOST american adults are sleep are chronically sleep deprived.
No question, the medication definitely helped me at work. But it turned me from a warm ‘Teddy Bear’ of a family man into a cold unfeeling hulk that I didn’t like. I say ‘unfeeling’ but that’s not entirely accurate as I wasn’t numb — I had a steely foundation of active “I don’t give a rip” (that would have been worded much stronger if I used such language!) with a big side-dish of burning anger ready to pour on anyone who pushed me. In the years I was on it, I almost estranged my children permanently (thankfully they have forgiven me, though with therapy involved for one) and I’m not sure why my wife stood by me thru all the hurt I put her through. She now recalls those years with the shorthand “You were dead behind the eyes.., when they weren’t flashing anger.” I am SO thankful to her for not walking away for good.
Not to say there wasn’t conflict. She articulated well what I was putting them all thru, and how the youngsters were about ready to leave and never speak to me again. And frankly, ~ I ~ didn’t like living with me either. But then when doing research looking for answers (ironically I worked for a revered Medical University that you would likely recognize) I found that not only was this situation not rare, but that in overall it was NOT that effective in reducing suicide (and in fact, some of these antidepressants are so well known for paradoxically SPIKING suicide shortly after the patient’s depression seems to have lifted that they have ‘Black Label’ warnings especially for younger demographics. [Again, reporting my findings at the time, not presuming to present medical advice. Research or seek out expert ‘second opinions’ for yourselves.] )
Eventually I wasn’t willing to online with myself so angry and sacrifice everything worthwhile in life (and everyone I had loved and who -for some reason- still loved me!) I came off the antidepressant (under medical care and with herbal supports) , walked away from the Medical School, caught up a bit on sleep, found a better doctor, and took a deep dive into sorting thru alternatives to separate the hyped from the truly helpful (like therapy for what turned out to be PTSD so deeply buried that I wasn’t even aware of it until I sat SOBBING uncontrollably thru what I thought was just a intake visit.., and the next several as well. EMDR was a turning point for me.., YMMV.)
Thankfully — though I have had other separate challenges (including 2 car accidents w/ internal injuries & TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury that have me firmly in the ‘disabled’ category) — over many years I am ‘back to human and myself again’ as my wife puts it considering she didn’t even recognize me for a while, and my grown kids have forgiven me and extend a lot more grace & love than I will ever be able to comprehend.
As always YMMV, and obviously such situations called for professional help. But if you & your wife were friends/family asking for perspective from what helped me out of the abyss this is what I would share: (1) Search out at least one second opinion from a doctor who doesn’t practice ‘medicine by Rx pad’ will actually sit down and talk thru everything for at least 30-45m. And if they’re not doing a deep dive on basics like sleep and past trauma before pulling out the Rx pad, ask friends/contacts til you find one who will. (2) Be ready for something OTHER than a quick fix, and be ready to face some pain & hard work on the journey. (3) And — only if you can honestly do so— assure her of your absolute commitment to stand by her thru the journey, especially when you often need to lovingly need to speak nude truth/reality as well.
Lastly, and I offer this with some trepidation, if you think it will be helpful, print out what I’ve shared here for your wife to read at her leisure. In the final analysis, it’s her body & her choice both ethically and just plain practically, but perhaps something of my experience will resonate with her.., if not now, perhaps at some internal crisis point of her own.
May Peace & Love fill you both!
It's good you're understanding of her feelings, but she should have told you sooner. I know she was scared, but the very reason she was scared was the reason she should have told you. You have the right to know and make a choice for yourself, whatever that choice is. Had she already been fully transitioned, would she even have told you? Or could you have tried to have a child for years all while she knew why it wasn't working?
That’s you.
For OP it is as very simple as “I don’t like dick”
Your experiences are not universal
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He has no intention of changing. I wouldn't even waste more of my life by catering to him or trying to get him to change.
Your boyfriend is being unreasonable and it’s a weird ask. I get enjoying the home alone for a few hours once in a while. He is not asking for that and is being unrealistic and unreasonable and it’s bizarre.
I lived with roommates in college and didn’t love constantly having other people around. I struggled with sharing a living space more than most would. That said, when I lived with a significant other later on, being uncomfortable with them being around disappeared. It’s normal to do your own thing in a house with someone else doing their own thing, especially when you are comfortable with the person.
Whatever your bf’s problem is, it’s his to deal with. You online there too and have every right to be there as often as you want. It’s nice that you are going for a walk after work and are seeing friends often. I think going into your office once a week is reasonable but anything else beyond that is ridiculous.
Time to block and move on. He’s got all the advantages here. You have none.
Love, get out the f there as soon as you safely can
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I really wanted it to be like meeting and then developing everything step by step. Not forcing me to stay with them in the same room of the hotel in same bed and doing things that I am not sure about. That's how I always thought that I should be sure about someone, and I know this guy for around 3 months so it's even worse situation than when I knew ex for 6 years and we delayed always the meeting. It's very very hot for me because maybe I'm overreacting and I'm immature for the guy but apparently I don't know how he'll be have in real. How can I be sure that he's just pretending to be a nice guy and then force me for something, right? I don't get this forcing for same bed in hotel. I always thought that people are meeting each other, go out for a walk, get to know each other and do things step by step. Maybe it's different for him cause he had lot of women for one night stands. My ex also did lie about “waiting only for me” and he had lot of women, but at least even if he was asshole too, he kind of for most of time respected me. On the other hand maybe I value my “first times” too much? Maybe I am the one that is immature?
Yes I do think it’s better for him to leave her than to talk to her about it. She’s made it very clear she doesn’t want to have a discussion with him about how she should look in his eyes. If he isn’t fine with that, they should break up. Continuing to push a conversation she rightfully doesn’t want to have would do nothing
I agree, 8 years of lying does not make a relationship I would want to be in either. It surprises me that I had to scroll down to find this.
And I don't think there is a good reason to lie about it, if she doesn't feel safe to be honest she shouldn't be with him. It is really that simple.
We’ve never really spoke on it before she knows I’ve watched porn before in the past we’ve been together 6 years now but she’s never caught me watching it
He supports the politics of the party that's actively going after birth control after successfully dismantling abortion rights. Why would you expect him to respect you, your rights, or your body? Why would you trust him with those things?
You can try to clarify his beliefs on these things but most men are well enough aware that they should lie about supporting the revocation of women's rights.
And that's only the small fraction of their politics that impact you.
What will you do if you stay with this guy and you have an LGBTQ kid? If he wants to own guns? If he marches on the capital to support Trump? If he hates minorities and tries to swat the brown kids next door for a watergun fight? If he refuses the covid vaccine? If he refuses to let your kids get vaccines?
That's a whole pile of nope to consider.
It's terrible what you went through and you should 100% get therapy to help you heal. Not every man is abusive. Not every nice person gets used.
Just show her this post, she needs to understand how much this hurts you. Her laughing after doing thise stuff gives me the creeps.
I hope he made a formal will. And if your dad passed when you were 12… why wouldn't your grandpa just name you in his will?
Oh ok, cool 🙂
I don't know if there's any way I can report her anonymously. Probably not. But I feel better about doing it now, so thank you.
I completely agree, something needs to be done. I just need to bite the bullet because ultimately it's my responsibility. I owe it to people. That sounds good, I will use a similar format in my message.
She will definitely know it's me, and I'll probably have to move out asap once I do it, because I seriously don't know what she would do after finding out it's me.
I don't think she's done this to other people, but she has had conflict with quite a few people (I don't know the details though.) I don't know if professors etc. would have picked it up, she appears very charming/nice/charismatic to other people. I think it's just her close friends who get this strange side of her sometimes.
Thanks again, you've given great advice!
I was just trying to fit as much as I could it in the time I had to do so.
Things obviously not working out with toy boy. The rose tinted glasses are coming off. Your the fall back. You should leave her to wallow in the shit pile she created for herself. Remember how she treated you.
Are you for real? This advice is the most selfish, absurd advice someone could give. GIVE THIS POOR WOMAN THE OPPORTUNITY TO FIND SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO MARRY HER OR AT LEAST LET HER FIGURE OUT IF SHE IS OK WITH NEVER BEING MARRIED. YOU UNBELIEVABLE SCUM!!!!!
Is it cheating? No. Is it sketchy as fuck because you agreed to hide something arguably innocent with your wife? Yep. (It also removes the arguably innocent trait.) Now, that said. Is she setting you up to cheat or make a move? Have you EVER watched or heard the plot of ANY lifetime film? You about to be the focus of a Lifetime movie, a TruCrime documentary and a case on Unsolved Mysteries. You're about to be the entire Weekend Love-Crime marathon.
Wait… was that a bad joke?
What would make you think it isn't rape?
I am so sorry that this happened to you. This is so disheartening, and I don’t understand why it would make things more complicated if he’s living with your friend, especially when your relationship would be private. I’m wondering if there’s more to things- like maybe he has feelings for your friend too? I’m not sure what else there could be that would logically make sense.
My best advice for you would be to work on letting this one go. You will find someone who cares about you and will reciprocate your feelings, I promise. Sometimes things don’t work out the way we wish they would, and that really sucks sometimes. I feel so bad that this happened because these kinds of feelings can be overwhelming, but you will find someone. He may not be your friend’s roommate, but the person you’re meant to be with is out there.
I didn’t know about them until after we started talking and I told her it was a red flag when I found out about it. It’s really not a life or death situation for me I just wanted advice on how to go about telling her I don’t like what she’s posting for everyone to see.
I'm sorry he doesn't seem to value you.
It seems like you are a place holder while he tries to find someone else.
I don't think he's worth the blows to your self esteem and mental health.
It also seems like these other women are on to him because they want nothing to do with him.
What work have you done on yourself to make you a better person? Like actively worked on, not a just woke up and decided to be better this time around. What work have you put into yourself to make you someone worth forgiving and worth believing?
Everything else needs to be put on pause while we address the ages you both got together.
Maybe he’s not in a financial position to date? Him wishing he could doesn’t mean he can. Like owning a car or wanting a vacation.
You picking up the tab helps him not only avoid the very hot truth but reduces his motivation to get focused.
Did she have a relationship with your mom?
Just because you two broke up doesn’t mean any relationship established between them is null and void. I’m still friends with my best friends ex husband?
You two are broken up, what she does is none of your concern, she owes you no explanation and you don’t deserve “respect”.
Your mom on the other hand, that’s who you should be upset with IF you already told her that you don’t like the idea of them hanging out together.
And again, you don’t DESERVE respect. No one does. No one does. If you don’t like the way people are treating you, don’t associate with them.
No, I am NOT missing the point. I get his point and it is bs. Because if “this issue would go away” if she had extra time for him then he needs to actually discuss his concerns over their lack to time together and figure out how to address it. However, his answer to the problem is this, as described by you, an implied ultimatum… “let me sleep around or make time for me and I won’t”. If that truly is what he is saying then he is being extremely manipulative. Because then he is gaslighting her to make her feel guilty for not giving him more time or not being able to give him more time, making her feel likes it’s her fault, so she’ll allow him to do it.
I also don’t buy his argument. If it’s a threesome then you consented to me sleeping with someone else. If you don’t make time for me, I should be allowed to sleep with others. He’s trying to find loopholes, because what he wants is to cheat and make it ok.
thank you!! will do.
also thanks to the users commenting helpful advice on what to do to move forward.
Yall are both adults, If you're attracted to her then take her up on the offer.
Your friend may get really upset if she finds out later but she definitely isn't entitled to that information if yall decide not to tell her, just be prepared if she does find out it's a possibility it messes up yalls relationship but most people probably wouldn't care about who their friends/siblings have sex with, unless she has feelings for you.
It’s because he’s dating a 21 year old, not because he’s an abuser though.
Sexual compatibility is important in a relationship and you don't have it.
She needs to see the medic, sex being painful is not normal. She needs to change her birth control, or get this one fixed.. Not going to the medic would be a line in the sand for me.
I mention it she will question the relationship, and told me she has felt unloved and unhappy for months and she isn’t sure if she wants this anymore.
Of course she feels unloved, physical intimacy is gone. Mention that. This lack of feelings on her part IS something you have to talk about and not bury.
I mean, just from these snippets it’s quite clear the guy is a douchy idiot. I’m fairly certain you’re better of without him.
She is not ready for a sexual relationship. If sexual compatibility is important, and it should be, you may want to look elsewhere
Lordy, I hope you're a troll. I mean, you're DEFINITELY a troll. I'm just hoping this isn't a real post.
I’m usually for reconciliation and working through things but you need to get out. Go to an abused women’s shelter and contact a pregnancy care center for support of your child. He is abusive. You are in danger. Run
What?? 18 is an adult in the U.S.
Look up The Healing Heart – the 180 and Grey Rock.
Use these to start the detachment process and at the same time, defuse any attempts by her to push your buttons, aggravate, provoke, rile you up.
Eventually, she will initiate the breakup, and by that time, you should be over her.
Suggested reading:
No More Mr Nice Guy
Theres not much to do there, theres 2 outcomes:
1 – She doesnt sleep with another woman and resent you for that, and that ressentment you eventually end your marriage.
2 – She does sleep with another woman and you start resenting her for that, and your ressentment eventually end your marriage.
She will not magically stop being bissexual, much less stop wanting to experience a part of her sexuality whose she never experienced, só either you come to terms with it, or the end is near.
Yeah break up with her. It's normally pretty obvious if you are in love. For a start you don't post on Reddit with this title.
Here's a reason why. One day in the future some smart funny sexy girl will come into your life one day who's interested in you. What's going to happen then is that you'll feel regret about being with your current partner, and because there is another opportunity you will leave her. This is such a waste of both of your time. She'll find someone else don't worry, you guys are only 21.
Updateme
Just be honest with your fiancé and remind him that you’re aware of your emotional situation and are working on it
Just be honest with your fiancé and remind him that you’re aware of your emotional situation and are working on it
He's been a great friend and has these things that interest him intensely. It's not for everyone, clearly, but he's passionate about it. You can't legitimately be annoyed at him because he continues to like those things when you put him in a completely incompatible situation like a party. He's allowed to be excited for his prospects.
It sounds like the core conflict here is that you want him to be your only-fun friend, who tells you what you want to hear the way you want to hear it. I come to that conclusion because you go out of your way to point out that he's not been in a serious relationship before, when he still tried to help you objectively. He didn't have to do that, and you putting the word advice in quotations makes me, as a reader, think you frankly didn't deserve his help. Instead, you seem alarmingly sure that there's virtually no chance that you're wrong about how you're handling anything.
Go ahead and distance yourself, but I say that for his sake rather than yours. You do seem to resent him and take his own accomplishments (as well as his pretty nice attempts to help you) as some kind of burden on your flow, and eventually he will realize that he doesn't need that kind of negative energy holding him back. Or, you could consider that maybe something he says or does in his life is worth your valuable appreciation. Right now, it doesn't seem like you value him much at all, but you want to claim you do.
You just love red flags.
Lawyer up. Before your kid gets abused or molested
He talked about his addiction to alcohol and pain medications
His email has the language and tone of someone who is still addicted, and still does not understand what it means to make amends with the people he's hurt.
He email is just a litany of “ME, ME, ME, oh boo hoo, poor ME. You have to forgive ME so I can feel good about MYSELF.”
If he felt true remorse for how he made your childhood a living hell, he would have offered a sincere apology. He would have said he understood if you never spoke to him again.
If he was honestly sorry for the terror and pain he inflicted on you, he would understand how cluelessly selfish he is to ask you for forgiveness.
How astonishingly ignorant he is, to expect you to make him feel better about himself.
He has not changed.
Don't respond. Discard any communication that comes from him.
I seriously did a double take when I read this, as I thought someone who knew me was posting my story. I went through the same exact thing, right down to him working out of town. My ex did it because he has an incest fetish, he even threatened to send a very hot photo of me to my dad one night while he was on drugs. I put up with a lot of shit, but that was it for me. It doesn't matter how attractive your sister is, he's disgusting and I promise you will never forget it or move past it.
Why don't you want to have the child? Unless your planning on having sex with other men and or can't stay loyal and faithful to your bf and planning on breaking up i can't see why you wouldn't want the baby just have the baby get married and start a family if you truly love your bf. Imagine how happy the two of you would be, young in love with your whole lives ahead of you with your new family.
When there's a break up…we break up with the whole family and that sucks especially when they were good to us. I would not send flowers or cards. Let sleeping dogs lie.
This is the only answer.
Whether you're “wasting time” depends on what you hope to get out of this. You're clearly not going to be with this person forever so if your mission here is to learn how to communicate within a romantic relationship and gain some dating experience no amount of time is a “waste”. But if she's still too immature to help facilitate those things then, yes, you are wasting your time.
Seriously this sub is wild. Always so quick to call something abuse with barely any context. If she has specifically told him not to do that in the past because it triggers her then yes this is more serious. But if it has never been established as a clear boundary then it’s laughable to call that sexual assault in a relationship.
Swap out homophobia with racism and see how your post sounds. Sit with that.
but this isn’t just during a season this is every single week and some weeks there are 2 games on
1- giant red flag if she’s not mature enough to deal with something relatively minor like this. 2- send her to r/antiwork and she’ll see just exactly how common this is in many “professional corporations”.
Was he raised in some weird evangelical church or something? Is he into Andrw Tat? Where is he getting these regressive ideas from?
OP…. THE WINE DIDNT MAKE YOU LASH OUT, THE FACT THAT YOU WANT KIDS DID.
although the wine did make you say how you REALLY FELT… 5 years she spoke to you about kids, and now she wants to globe trot, that means you have that house in the country… AND NEVER BE THERE.
She just completely changed her views and desires in your life WITH A WHISPER.
How you reacted, is how you felt and if you try to compromise about kids with her, you'll grow to hate and resent her.
With you on the first half, but then you go pretty far out to field.
“if he is this checked out on wedding planning, imagine how checked out he would be if you got pregnant? He won't be bothered to be involved at all”
This is assuming so much about him that you don't know at all.
Maybe the dude just doesn't see weddings as that big of a deal? Maybe he has undiagnosed adhd and its affecting his ability to actually act on planning, even though he really does think about it, and he just needs more specific tasks to be given?
Maybe his communication issues are coming into play and he's not getting the message that his fiancé wants him to do more
The point is there could be a lot of reasons he's dropping the ball on this that have nothing to do with what kind of father he will be, that's a ridiculous stretch.
That being said, the lack of communication skills and the family drama would have been a deal breaker for me from the start.
Wait, HOLD UP!!!
I totally missed some of your post.
You're supposed to pay HALF OF EVERYTHING and on top of that ALL of the housework and surely all of the childcare if you were to have children.
This is literally the most unfair arrangement I have EVER heard of.
The only person who can fix it is him. You can support and encourage, but that's about it.
She’s hesitant to deliver the truth I can’t deny that. She means well but sometimes you do people more harm than good by not telling them the truth.
Just ask, casually… lightly. Don’t put the weight of emotion in the question.
She doesn’t have the knowledge either. It’s my dad that does. He is welcome to share it with this person elsewhere.
Just break up.
Both of you want different things.
Sounds like she already had sex with him. Break up and move on.
Be prepared to leave if you have to. You can't force someone to 'love' or even respect you if they have mentally checked out.
Does he have depression? Do you suspect he is either emotionally or actually cheating with this co-worker?
If you online together, separate your finances. Get your important documents together. Do you have a family member or trusted friend you could line up to stay with?
Please know that there are lots of really kind, emotionally available, and caring men out there. This man of your is not the only specimen on the planet.
Decide what you need to stay in this relationship. Honesty? Intimacy? Respect? Date night once a week? Ask him if he can do this for you. If he's not sure, you have your answer. Sorry.
This is probably an unpopular opinion but crushes in committed relationships I think are indicative of something missing in the existing relationship. If you’re having a crush you are not 100% happy with your partner and you would be lying to yourself if you said you were. My advice is hold off on marrying your fiancé and dig into why it is that you developed feelings for that guy. What is the idea of being with him giving your that is missing with your fiancé.
If you choose to ignore the issue it WILL snowball. I would not want to marry someone who has a crush on someone else while we are engaged. How would you feel if your fiancé had a deep crush on someone right now?
The problem is, he thinks it's perfect and you don't. Tell him that. Tell him you are unhappy with it and since you have to wear it, you want it changed.