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Date: October 16, 2022
AmateurPub
thank you. I felt the same just maybe also wanted to get it off my chest at the same time. No i'm definitely never hanging with him ever again, but yes she is honest.
Porn isn’t explicitly about looking at women. It’s a visual tool that, while certainly able to be abused, is not cheating nor being disrespectful. Men and women use it regularly, it’s not something unusual. If you don’t enjoy watching pornography then that’s fine, but you either need to find someone who doesn’t indulge or implement a “don’t ask don’t tell” policy.
Are you qualified to determine that she has these presentation of symptoms from this post? This post alone? Autism is a spectrum disorder this means it doesn’t always present in these ways and it’s harmful to say this is always the presentation and ways to navigate the symptoms for a disorder with such a wide range.
Either way, being autistic does not exclude you from being a difficult person. The way OPs GF is acting is probably not an autism again but I also do not have enough info from one post to determine that.
Your disorder can explain some of this but never excuse it. I’ve been fighting bipolar disorder and that has been something I’ve had to drill into my head for years
Tell him you will pay half the bills assuming you can afford it but any maintenance and repairs need to be done at his expense since he is the home owner. Keep your receipts etc so you can have proof you have been paying him rent in case he acts funny later in the relationship or once you do get married you will be legally entitled to half of it anyway.
You laid out my case perfectly. My high school gf and I did NOT break up on good terms. It took like 10 years to be in the same room together again without any weirdness. We rarely talk or hang out but I think it’s great that we’re on good terms. She was my first love and I think it’s a good thing that I still care about her. I thought that would be seen as a sign of maturity, but I guess most of Reddit thinks different.
I’m honestly quite torn on this one because normally I advise people that it’s very normal and natural for their partners to notice the passing attractiveness of others and that you can’t expect your partner to never think of anyone other than you as desirable. But that’s not what you’re asking here – your boyfriend has actively told you that he wasn’t drawn to your looks initially, but that he is drawn to the appearance of other women immediately (even if it’s no more than an unintentional stare, which I think is pretty normal). Being told that kind of information even in the context of a very loving relationship is something that’s difficult to deal with and I don’t think you’re at fault for feeling conflicted here.
As someone who has literally walked into a shopping cart because I was staring at a hot woman I get that you can’t always help it, but he’s set up a very shaky foundation for that kind of occasional accident by telling you what he told you. Part of me is inclined to think that many people feel greater attraction to their partners over time, so it is something to try and get past; part of me wants to tell you that you shouldn’t settle for someone who thinks you’re anything less than the best thing that’s ever happened to them (and he may indeed feel that way about you, in which case I hope he tells you so often). For what it’s worth I’d consider myself fairly average looking, but my husband always tells me how incredibly attractive he finds me and that I’m literally the ideal body type to him. So you don’t have to look like a model to find somebody who feels that way about you.
I guess what bothers me about your situation is that YOU are the one looking to do something to fix this, and not your boyfriend. As far as I’m concerned, he should be the one on here asking for advice. He should be saying hey, I unintentionally made my wonderful girlfriend feel insecure by mentioning that I wasn’t immediately attracted to her physically but sometimes am to other women – how can I possibly reassure her that I love her more than anything and that she’s the only person I desire and want a future with despite my stupid comments? I’m not saying he’s wrong for feeling that way, but what possible purpose did it serve to tell you any of that information? It was a silly and thoughtless thing to say and he should recognise it as his fuck up, and his job to repair. You shouldn’t have to make yourself feel like you don’t need to compare yourself to others – he should be making you feel that way, or at least doing a lot of work towards it.
Our partners can’t totally fix our insecurities but they can certainly do a lot to heal them – is your boyfriend doing that for you? Because if he’s not then I’d definitely consider this settling, and I know that’s not what you want for yourself.
How many times do you need to feel excluded before you give up this :friendship”? Find new friends who enjoy your company and want to spend time with you.
emotional and verbal abuse. But idk if overreacting