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Ally and Mia, y.o.
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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms Ally and Mia
Date: September 20, 2022
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Yes it is. Doesnt matter if it was a celebrity.
Red flag?
This guy needs therapy.
Nobody wants to go to in-law's family events, especially something like a small child's birthday party if she doesn't even have children. This is fairly normal behavior for somebody not assertive enough to just say 'no thanks' to the invitation.
I might be in the minority but I don't think being so close, open and caring towards other people is a red flag, for some people thats just their way, but what is a red flag is not also being that way towards you, who Is supposed to be the person they decided to have the most intimacy with. If he was this way towards you and his friends, and this woman, I wouldn't say ot was a big deal, but it sounds like he's only this way with her so I can u derstand where the lack of trust is coming from. Emotional cheating is a thing, don't let him tell you it's not.
I hope this works out for you, but I think the kernel of mistrust is going to be nude to dislodge. Good luck.
Where do you live!?
Down the rabbit hole I went
Yeeeeesh stay away from that creep
You def blamed OP
As an animal lover, I can't even read the rest. Leave him immediately. I can not even believe this is a question. First get the kitten away and then you get a way. People that abuse animals should be in jail. Take the kitten to a doctor.
You aren't going to forget that.
It's funny because the only one here who has an excuse to be “childish” is OP's girlfriend, since she was literally a child two years ago.
But actually, the man who is allowing his brother to dictate his relationships and who also drank so much that he had to go to the hospital while his teenage girlfriend dropped everything to come take care of him is way more childish.
and the brother and his girlfriend who reacted with “ew she's childish” because the SO has anxiety also sound childish.
But really OP should dump her, his gf can do better.
You have no idea that’s nothing I can write so much more ??
INFO:
did the accident physically impair you? or did it change how you look? or did you just lose ur progress from the gym bc you had to rest? is this like you just gained weight back, or ur deformed from the accident?
Nothing wrong with your parents style within their own relationship. Some advice is nice but you know your gf best – don’t let them make you second guess yourself. It sounds like you don’t agree with their idea so I would stick with the original plan
I did it, It hurt I cried a lil
I'm curious how exodus supports abortion? The scripture you quoted is “You shall not wrong a stranger or oppress him, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt. You shall not afflict any widow or orphan. If you afflict him at all, and if he does cry out to Me, I will surely hear his cry; and My anger will be kindled, and I will kill you with the sword, and your wives shall become widows and your children fatherless.”
why would u wait, out of respect for someone who told you he doesn’t love you the same? lol. he won’t hesitate to flirt or pursue the next girl
It’s good you’re able to recognize problems and work through them. I hope everything works out
He is for the streets.
Ironically I had a close friend who got dumped out of the blue by his GF for not having sex for four months. SO me waiting a year shows some patience. So I know the reverse to be true.
Oh thank you very much for your offer. I noticed you followed me, I appreciate it Becca, you have a kind soul
Do not engage with Infamous Vagina Spammer
That's my reaction when my wife does it ? I honestly can't comprehend how he can be so bothered
Men have a nude time accepting love, we are loyal but wary creatures by default, and we are not always good at articulating ourselves and our thinking without preparation, or in many cases, swearing lol.
You are over thinking it, and it is kind of a glib answer, but I would say that in the moment, it kinda caught him on the back foot and he tried to be as simple and direct as possible.
Communication is key. We all can share our thoughts but at the end I promise regardless of her reaction to the conversation communicating openly and honestly is the key to a long lasting healthy relationship ?
Can I just say I love how wholesome this thread is? Everyone is giving amazing advice
If you're fine with dating someone with a penis, go for it. If not, she should have told you earlier. If you want kids, or to have vaginal sex it's not going to work. Even with gender affirming surgery it's different.
Idk where OP is from but that thing about moving out of the house as soon as you are of age is mostly a USA thing. In my culture for example it is completely normal to live! with your parents until you get married. Also you don't know what a person's circumstances might be, you don't know what might have went on in his life or why he is living with his parents. Open your mind a little and don't be so judgamental, damn
This just made me cry, thank you so much
I bet he's gonna stay and wait for her then be with her, while all of this eats him alive which leads to a breakup and him starting to see that our advice was the right move along
It says a lot about your friend and her boyfriend that they will still hang out with him. Doesn't seem like a significant loss to lose her imo. Also, I advise you to take legal action against these people.
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I just don’t get why his experiences and dna or whatever excuse his behavior. I’m just gonna chalk it up to you don’t know what you’re talking about.
Sounds like you are being unprofessional because you have feelings in the mix. You should have talked to him directly, or had a manager do it if you were unable to get a hold of him. He was in the wrong not replying to you to start, but you also don't know what else he may be dealing with.
It's not really clear how this all unfolded, if he already had the project for some time, if he maybe had other stuff he was working on as well? It sounds like you got the project day 1, day 2 you text him after work hours? It sounds like you wasted almost 2 days right there and by day 4 you've dropped the project because he has wasted almost as much time as you did? We don't even know if he was working on the project at this point.
All of that said you posted this in relationship advice, and not work advice. It sounds like you expect more from him because you want more from him, it doesn't sound like he returns those feelings because working on a project together would have been the perfect opportunity to talk to you and get to know you. The deeper part of this advice is to evaluate potential partners for who they actually are, not just who you want them to be.
Took this advice and talked to her. It was a quick conversation but she gave me the run around about how she needs to continue to work on herself and blah blah blah. She said everything she could have without actually saying she does not love me. I do not know if she is trying to preserve our relationship incase she can’t find someone or what but I’m out. I do not want to be with someone who won’t be straightforward with me, let alone themselves. Wished her the best and left. Time to see a therapist and move on.
Thanks for the help!
He’s childish and I wouldn’t haven the patience for that
Yes if he distributes them- but he hasn’t yet. We cannot arrest people for crimes we think they will do in the future. A crime needs to occur first. No crime as occurred yet, thus law enforcement won’t do anything yet. If he chooses to break the law and distribute those photos- then there is legal recourse available.
Behave like an adult and break up with her now.
This wasn’t before we met.
It's not worth wasting your time, but lots of people can't make an easy break, cuz feelings, so they “try” to work through it. Typically, it makes things hurt worse, and you pack on tons more baggage to have to work through by staying. Most times, people need to experience it firsthand tho. Life is made of our own unique experiences after all. Is it a mistake? Will you regret giving it a second try? More than likely, but such is life
I doubt the video has actually been deleted. Make sure you check his Cloud account as well, then dump this liar! He WILL use it against you eventually! If you have to then hire a computer expert to help you! And don't record anymore sex acts or send nudes with someone who repeatedly lies or tricks you like this. IMHO I wouldn't record ANYTHING intimate but if I DID it would be in MY SOLE possession! Best wishes and many Blessings!
What you did, in terms of corporate jargon, is called “assuming the sale.” It's a technique they teach sales people, which basically rushes/confused/bullies someone into buying something rather than letting them decide on their own. If you've ever been to a sleazy car dealership or dealt with those really aggressive door to door people who counter every polite attempt to say no, those are the kinds of people who use this kind of tactic the most often. It's obnoxious to be on the receiving end of it in a professional setting. It might be unnerving and a little scary for someone to be that manipulative and forceful about asking for a date. It also is the kind of gross psychological trick that assholes who sell books to other assholes about how to trick women into liking them since no one likes them for who they are would recommend, like negging.
So at best she thought you read pick-up artist books, and subscribe to the misogyny of that mindset, and at worst she thought your lack of concern over her consent or choice made you a serious threat. Leave her the hell alone, and maybe learn how to approach women like they're actual human beings whos opinions are important and who you're not trying to play mind games with.
And neither is a bad thing at the base level… it's pretty much a biological thing for both genders…you just have to ensure that's not the ONLY reason in such scenarios.
Manipulative, extremely honest… or delusional? Because maybe none of these girls are actually interested and he's just trying to make himself feel better? Or he's just being arrogant and wants you to feel lucky that he chose you?
I'd watch for any other red flags with this one.
He's also a damn fool on that front as well because the breasts will be affected by the pregnancy no matter what.
And even if her body didn't change one bit then he's a selfish pos only thinking about having a “sexy” wife and would most likely leave her for someone younger when she eventually starts to change physically as the years go by.
In my experience in a long term relationship, the period I last will go up significantly the longer the relationship goes on…
I don't mean this in an offensive way, but at the start it's all new, exciting, easy to finish early whether you want to or not.
As you get comfortable and it becomes a bit more routine I find I can last a long time. Nothing to do with porn. At all.
Might be worth exploring new things or just having a chat about how you don't enjoy a longer session before jumping to conclusions
You mean your ex-fiancé? Because you wouldn’t be foolish enough to marry someone who sees that your injured & drives away. Right?
This is the Universe telling you not to marry him.
I stopped halfway through, and while I’ve done that before, I’ve honestly never seen a situation like this.
In saying that, I was right there with you as the story went on. Even ignoring the fact that it made no sense for you to agree to marry him, you asked him why he didn’t get you anything. That’s fair enough. Reasonable question.
His response is where I checked out. He got you nothing because you snoop on his phone. I’d be the first person here saying that I don’t condone snooping. But what on earth does one have to do with the other? Unfortunately, it gets monumentally worse. Why? Because you completely ignored his statement and proceeded to tell us when he had the opportunity to do so. This is now mind blowing.
I honestly need to just stop. Why are you still together?
I did my good deed for the day before I even got out of bed. ?
OP, Reddit makes no sense sometimes.
It defies all logic and reasoning why you receive this many downvoted for clearly and concisely COMPLIMENTING YOUR OWN WIFE.
Some people just want to watch the world burn.
“I’m happy to be a sympathetic ear, but I don’t feel qualified to advise you on this. It’s completely outside my expertise and I’d hate to give you bad advice.”
my girlfriend is always taking pictures that I don't get for days, or long later. sometimes she says it's because she was gonna send but got too nervous, sometimes she's doing things for her insecurity. I'd say if she was cheating she'd have tried to just make it seem like it was for you.
It sounds like your boyfriend wasn’t in a good mood. Maybe he will feel better next time you see him.
I hate to bring it up, but is it possible she was sexually assaulted in her past? I know everyone's jumping to cheating, but if she was assaulted, then yes, you'd be her first still. I would ask if that's something that may have happened to her. Sadly, it's always a possibility.
Thank you, exactly what I was thinking. They went out as children, I don't hink there's a reason to be threatened by him. After that, and the entirety of her adult life, they were no more than friends.
The more I think about it the more I realize that he was a safe and positive aspect in her life and likely helped her heal from her bad childhood experiences. He was safe, maybe that petty part of myself was looking at it wrong.
Still dont like the size of it though lol
He needs therapy. His behavior is 100% unacceptable. Do not subject your child to this. He gets help or you go. Don’t go to couples counseling until he’s done some work on his own. This isn’t a you problem, it’s a him problem. Now is the time to create and enforce a boundary. If you won’t do it for yourself, do it for your child.
Dude this girl is going to get pregnant from her fwb and you live! with her. This is a mess. If you have to tell her ANYTHING – tell her to get on birth control ASAP
He sounds like he's 12, but he's almost 30? Dump him and never date a guy five years younger. Guys are more immature and when they are younger than you there will be a huge gap in maturity.
Jesus no, Im not like that. So I dont have to Tell him anything? I just wanted to Tell him that i dont wanna lose him completly, that’s it
Get your ring back beforeem you say anything also!
Kick his disgusting ass to the curb, sell your home, and find something more affordable. I know that is easier said than done, but it will make your life better in the long run
You are 100% the one in the wrong here IMO.
If they wanted to be a couple, they would be. They've even tried it and decided it's not for them.
However, best friends are family. EVEN IF THEY'VE PREVIOUSLY SLEPT TOGETHER. You're trying to tear his family apart.
This is obviously not the relationship for you, unless you can get over your insecurities, apologise profusely to both of them and never behave like this again.
Yea it’s been a really rough time for parents of little ones over covid. If you are feeling a bit touch starved then I think maybe you should get massages. I know it’s not your wife and what you want but it can help to kind of chip away at the loss.
It’s not a cure all but she might also be a tad depressed which is causing her to recoil into her she’ll a bit.
Try to organise some child free time for you as a couple and for her alone. I know money is always an issue but investment in anything can raise dividends. Maybe find another parent and swap the kids off to each other for a half a day on Saturday.
It does get better. It is nude though and your not a bad person for feeling this way.
The only way to respond is to say “That’s a strange way to announce that you’re a gay trans man.”
How is he your best friend and she's his fiance of 7 years and you've never met?
The silent treatment is abuse. He should be in therapy to work on his anger issues. You also seem very naive.
Give it time. Don’t get married until you two have figured this out. Talk, talk, and more talk. Having kids is a completely different lifestyle and incompatibility is a deal breaker. Best to you.
but in your original post you say you covered his eyes and immediately felt shame, before even noticing your wife and SIL.
I'd bet he could feel them looking at him.
It was literally a scene of two men in bed, talking and kissing lol.
She’ll learn
This is the second time you have posted about this. You’re going to get the same answers. You blew through the boundaries of your relationship. If he still hasn’t responded, he’s done.
New sobriety is huge too. I wonder if you don't each need to work on your own issues now. That could mean disengaging some from each other. Can you get therapy for yourself?
Let them heave each other
You have to just rip off the plaster and tell her. However we from what boyfriend said it seems to me that she already knows and don't care. If that is the case I would seek another woman for your threesome.
If his grief means that he can't treat you decently *and* he won't seek help so that he can address his grief, you need to leave. I'm sorry.
People can go at different paces though. The idea of going to someone’s place on a first date is not only dangerous, but for some people… to fast?
I mean. Maybe that worked for you. But what is it Linda said in bobs burgers… “you haven’t even smelled each others farts yet?!” Granted she changed her mind at the end. But that’s cause the show needs a moral. She was right in the beginning by Lmao that’s just WAY to fast for most people
People can go at different paces though. The idea of going to someone’s place on a first date is not only dangerous, but for some people… to fast?
I mean. Maybe that worked for you. But what is it Linda said in bobs burgers… “you haven’t even smelled each others farts yet?!” Granted she changed her mind at the end. But that’s cause the show needs a moral. She was right in the beginning by Lmao that’s just WAY to fast for most people
I would give it a few more dates. And then just have a check in with where things are at.
However, for future reference, there is no reason to be nervous when telling someone what you’re looking for. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you want if from them. Or that you know that yet. It just lets them know what you’re looking for so neither of you waste the others time.
I lost my mom a number of years ago. We were very close as adults and I could truly say she was my best friend. I didn't deal with it very well on the inside. But what I never did was be cruel or ungrateful to those that helped me by word or deed. My partner, my ex and his wife, my neighbors, my friends. They made time for me and I didn't take any of it for granted. They also had lives and families and other friends and carried on with them at the same time. I was, and am to this day, so grateful for their love and caring.
Your partner is totally discounting your loving and supportive actions, and further, is treating you horribly, negating all you've done and do, as you deal with the changes in your own life.
Please take a step back, and let him wallow in his grief for now as you take care of yourself. You will burn out trying to satisfy someone who can't be at this time. Take care of you and your mental health and your new sobriety. You have too much at stake to be his emotional punching bag at present.
A lot of reasons-none of which make you wrong, it makes you human.
-You are the sole financial provider, which is not bad. But you're also holding down the fort at home, while he does nothing it seems. My job gives me 4-5 months off a year in one period due to the off-season, during that period I do everything in the household, because my husband is working. When we are both working, we divide and conquer. Before he went to med school, he was a teacher and in his summers he would do the household work, while I was working. Never in my 10 years of marriage has one of been the sole provider of everything. (with the exception of a period after a stillbirth, but even then we ended up paying for a house cleaner and ordering a lot of food b/c we just couldn't)
-Spouses don't need to be emotional support animals. Yes you should support each other, but there should also be other people to talk to- whether this be friends, a counsellor, an live! support group. But there needs to be healthy boundary where you each have other people.
-Spouses should have other social networks other than being together 100% of the time, its okay to not want to hang out with him. My husband loves fishing- I get 0 joy out of it. He goes out and does that with his friends, while I go to a broadway musical. I get 0 joy out of star wars, he doesn't care for rom-coms.
-Supporting your spouse is exhausting- and its okay not to want to drain your emotional energy, especially when he's not doing stuff to get better. We ALL want jobs that bring us joy, nobody wants a job they hate. But sometimes in life, you need to work at jobs that aren't as lifegiving until you get that job you love. I'm in sports medicine and I first had to work as an assistant to this douche, i hated it but eventually the stars aligned and now I work for a sports team doing what I love. I wouldn't have gotten this job without doing jobs I hated that gave me experience, opportunities, and exposure.
Thank you.
It would totally depend on what the crime was.
It would totally depend on what the crime was.
but thank you regardless for your message
Good for you! Your parents were and are selfish. You clearly own them nothing. Therapy will help you but I would forever leave them out of your life. Good luck to you!
“The fish you catch is determined by the bait you use and the pond you fish in”
I’m seeing this become relevant to all ranges of successful men in my dating pool.
As a 24f I was raised hoping to find a man that would take care of me the way it was idealistically presented in media, like pretty woman, and songs like “Bills, Bills, Bills”, and that that treatment would come as a result of being sexually open and visually attractive.
What’s happening is more and more young people are seeing relationships as transactional instead of prioritizing connection. Instead of finding a man who thinks he can buy any women’s love, they need to be inspiring the kind of love that makes a man want to spoil her.
More and more, men are seeing women as objects, and women seeing men as opportunity.
We all have a strong idea of love and romance, but are thinking about it in sense of romcom characters instead of following our emotions and trying to find a true Life Partner.
Your son just needs hope that there are still genuine women out there. He may need to take a genuine look inside himself and see if he is even the kind of person that a good women should want to be with. I suspect his hopelessness is a result of low self esteem, regardless for looks there are a whole range of reasons why he could feel inadequate.
While I do believe women my age are struggling just as nude as him to find ourselves, it sounds like your son may need you to talk to him about women more.
“The fish you catch is determined by the bait you use and the pond you fish in”
I’m seeing this become relevant to all ranges of successful men in my dating pool.
As a 24f I was raised hoping to find a man that would take care of me the way it was idealistically presented in media, like pretty woman, and songs like “Bills, Bills, Bills”, and that that treatment would come as a result of being sexually open and visually attractive.
What’s happening is more and more young people are seeing relationships as transactional instead of prioritizing connection. Instead of finding a man who thinks he can buy any women’s love, they need to be inspiring the kind of love that makes a man want to spoil her.
More and more, men are seeing women as objects, and women seeing men as opportunity.
We all have a strong idea of love and romance, but are thinking about it in sense of romcom characters instead of following our emotions and trying to find a true Life Partner.
Your son just needs hope that there are still genuine women out there. He may need to take a genuine look inside himself and see if he is even the kind of person that a good women should want to be with. I suspect his hopelessness is a result of low self esteem, regardless for looks there are a whole range of reasons why he could feel inadequate.
While I do believe women my age are struggling just as nude as him to find ourselves, it sounds like your son may need you to talk to him about women more.
It sounds to me like there's a good chance your partner wouldn't even try to have shared custody.
Please get some therapy, because I'm afraid you might make decisions based on erroneous beliefs. I do realize you're struggling. Please don't believe you have zero choices, though. Either get therapy through health insurance, or something live!, whatever you can afford. If BF wants to know, say you're having a touch of insurance and want to deal with it properly.
I don't see this working out. He doesn't respect you and is going to have a harder time respecting you once you are finished medical school. There are also more important things than money and his business may be successful now but may fold but doctors will always have a steady job with a good income.
I'm not going to lie I'd probably beat the shite out of my boss in this instance. Like fuck the job you are not going to beast my child.
Congrats on the child support.
Thats so nude to do I can't imagine my life without her
Instead of worrying about more kids right now, maybe you need to focus on making sure you're pulling your weight and really helping 50% of the time, including night feedings. And make sure you're both getting breaks. Ask her what she needs.
Even thinking about another baby right now is ridiculous. She's clearly still traumatized. Give her time and help.
Then in a few years, you can talk about it again. And having a kid and adopting the next one isn't weird. There are hundreds of thousands of mixed families with a combo of bio and adopted kids. And surrogates are legal in the US too. So there are plenty of options and she's very young still. You married a 22 year old at 32. Your life stages were very different at that time.
Perfect thank you! I don’t know if I’m in danger or not since she hasn’t said anything directly to me yet. The messages are concerning.
I already did, didn’t like it hehe
When you get married, that’s now your immediate family. If you are unable to prioritise your fiancé over your mother maybe you shouldn’t get married? And when you have kids, will you allow her toxic presence around you children, doing to their self-esteem what she did to you? Will you prioritise your own need to be validated by your mother over your children’s well-being? Denying your children the best environment you can give, when that means cutting out bad people from your family’s life?
This is a him problem, and he needs to work out how to deal with it – you shouldn't be jumping through hoops to make him feel better. He's basically saying he 'can't believe how loose you were'.
I'd still wouldn't jump on the relationship too fast. Because these things aren't him being a “good” person. This is how a normal person should react.
UpdateMe!
I don't have an answer because I would have snapped. I'm so sorry, OP.
OK so I feel like we need a little bit more here. What specifically is it that your parents do not like? I know you gave some descriptives like weird and annoying, but have they ever mentioned anything specifically to you? Simply saying that someone is weird and annoying usually doesn’t result in a shouting match as you described, so can we try to get some more details on what they don’t like? Maybe they notice some thing that you might not notice at this moment. But if they truly are just yelling because they think he’s ‘weird’ then that’s very bizarre but I think you should try to sit your parents down perhaps to have a more open honest conversation. Try not to automatically dismiss their opinions either. Not saying that you do that but it’s just a little nude to believe that they’re screaming over a guy that they just think is a little “weird “
Yeah a lot of cheating discoveries might start like this, but also a lot of stories that have nothing to do with cheating. It's a weird confirmation bias because the only time we hear about these stories is when it turns out to be the worst. But the times where the answer is “oh yeah he's interested in my friend Chad, so I'm trying to set them up” or “we happened to be walking in at the same time so we decided to work out together. He's got some weak quads lol” or “he knows the person who I need to impress in an internship so he was giving me tips” or “yeah I told him I was having trouble hitting a PR on the bench, so he was showing me a new circuit that could help”
Those are all boring and don't make good stories, so we don't hear as many of those
OP also has had 2 other children since the divorce.
So you're saying that you're the one that gave her the warped view that she gets a sat in other people's reproductive rights.
You realize that makes you the bad guy, right?
I did get away, but then she texted me and I couldn't resist it.
I’m not here trying to be a prick, so I’m sorry. I’m honestly here trying to provide legitimate advice.
If that’s all you have to say, then you’re either trolling or quite frankly refusing to acknowledge the truth and just want validation not to end things.
Dump her. She’s not getting any better, respect yourself and let yourself be happy!
Being a “military wife” sucks. Just plain sucks.
She's not giving you an ultimatum so much as telling you her boundaries. She doesnt want to be a military wife. That is entirely reasonable.
If you do this, she has to live! the life of a single person and single mother for months and months at a time,regularly for the rest of her life, but instead of being able to go out and find someone to be a partner to her, she already has one that is never there for her. Her life will be very much negatively affected by this. Its not just the distance. By not seeing you again, she gets to move on to a partner who will actually be there for her and her potential future children and be a partner to her.
So I think maybe you're being the unreasonable one. She's not telling you you can't go, she's just telling you she doesn't want a partner who's in the military so if you do, you guys won't be together anymore.
Yeah I thought so too. It just consumed his for you page completely so I didn’t know if it was a problem. Also didn’t want him to think me having friends means I’m cheating because he didn’t allow me to have friends for so long and said now that “he’s changed” he says I can hang out with friends without having to worry. I haven’t hung out with friends yet and bailed on many invites. I’m just scared if I do it will start a fight because his tiktok seems to be telling him if I have friends I’m cheating.
So a random nobody tells you rumors about your dad's GF who you thought you got along well with and before you ask him if that's true you stand in his face as if you wanted to fight? What were you gonna do to your GF's dad for God's sake? get into a fistfight to prove you were a man and probably get beaten by this war veteran and then what? you messed up big time and you pressed your GF's red button which is why she got so defensive, it's her freakin' dad! You need to grow up and learn from this!
I hope he tells bartenders to ask if people are alcoholics so they won't serve them. If you didn't dance for those guys, they'd just go somewhere else to get their dance lol. Your friend is an idiot.
To be honest I’ve never dealt with someone who drinks like this before so all the times I thought it might be alcoholism I’ve made excuses thinking I was just being dramatic, but now that I’ve been told twice that it sounds like he’s got a drinking problem it is definitely making me think that perhaps I was actually right.
I’m going to speak to him tomorrow about it because I just don’t think I can continue the relationship if he carries on drinking the way he does, thank you.
You need to leave. I’m close to your age. You don’t need a child to take care of and that’s exactly what you have. Remember being happy and independent? Go back to that.
Sorry. Having a problem with him masturbating too much to where it’s affecting your sex life and preferring it to sec with you doesn’t make you crazy. Him gaslighting you is a problem.
She does drive me other places sometimes. She’ll know I need to go somewhere, she’ll offer to drive, I’ll say no it’s ok thank you I’ll uber/walk, she’ll refuse and insist on driving. The times when she sleeps over though is when she drives me home. The thing is, we are close friends, so if I keep refusing, she’ll think something’s off. I buy her food in return. I really have tried solving this by not having her drive me but just like she’d think something’s wrong if I spoke to her about not sleeping over, she’d be upset if I kept refusing her rides.
So she made you wait to be intimate while sleeping with other people?? I personally would feel offended and used.
You could be right, but also some people just don't believe in long distance relationships.
I agree with you partially, meds effect everyone differently, im not a doctor but I have a medical background with school loans to prove it lol the point was to see if there are others out there and my research over the past couple of months is compelling. People who have no connections in life, telling stories that are sometimes word for word the same. I think concerta is a wonderful medicine, ridilin also has these same side effects. not nude to google it the info is readily available. this was news to me when i wrote this
No. My partner was though live!.
Any person will broke up with you for that you are so bad
Yes we had sex but again nothing came of it. We were close friends and we had a moment of weakness because we were both going through things. Then we dead the situation
Yes, this is a gay man. He’s also probably got a porn addiction, and treats you like a piece of shit, tf are you still doing with them?
You're overthinking it
Um .. who texts their dad about how nude his new stepmom is? The fact that dad married a very hot young thing and your BF admires that and you are significantly younger than he is suggests a pattern in that family. I know you don’t want to talk about it but it’s clearly a factor.
Yeah, I know that. I tried BetterHelp, but the therapist there didn’t seem to be interested in anything but finding a problem she could give me medicine for. Do you know how to go about finding a good therapist?
I haven't looked, but referencing your post history is not stalking. Post history is publicly available.
“BE GONE THOT!” – Hopefully you
I told him we’re completely if it happens again whether it’s soon or 50 years from now
Sure, then I gues you could say the same about her
What she did is more than a little deceptive. This woman is absolutely horrible for all of it. She did give you one gift though, making it very easy to move past this relationship. Forget about the gifts, they are gone and in short time the money will not be missed.
“And then they'd apparently had a “long talk” about how they didn't want to “ruin” their friendship”. This is the only reason why he isn't leaving you for her. Why would you stay with this cheater when he admitted that you're his second choice??!!
He's 31 and acting like a jealous 16 year old. Noo!! Reactivate your Facebook and unfriendly him and block him, so he can't search it.
Tell him your past is your past and you will not entertain him questioning you over photos that are older than your relationship.
Personally I would leave and block him everywhere. Life should not be a gameshow.
?
Then that tells you to leave this relationship. You are not to take a backseat.
Then that tells you to leave this relationship. You are not to take a backseat.
Thanks for the advice!
No. Gross.
He's a selfish, lazy, self centered, cheap procrastinator.
You can do so much better. ditch him and move on. You deserve better than three tulips and McDonalds.
Show her you are nothing like her and cut her off. She can keep the rapist as a friend. Now I wonder if she set you up knowing what he would do to you and that is why she has no problem keeping him around.
Dont try to change for him. You do enough for him already and he clearly doesn't appreciate it. I'm certain you'd be happier if you left, especially if there's sexual issues between you as well. You don't have to live! like this.
Idk what to tell you. The dog sounds significantly less annoying.
If you're old enough to have sex, you're old enough to have a difficult conversation about sex.
Yeah I think if he lets her know it's about sex, it might also give her a complex in her next relationship. Like she might have sex before she's ready with the next guy because she will make an assumption about his timeline, based on OP's timeline.
There was a post around recently about a girl whose boyfriend was afraid of sex and sexual contact. There was a great comment about breaking down each step of intimacy (from sitting next to each other fully clothed, all the way up to penetrative sex). The advice was to make it as granular as possible, and not skip any of the steps, so that the partner could feel comfortable slowly escalating. You wouldn't have to see it as a zero sum game that way, and your gf could still take it slow.
i suffer from a lot of anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation……… so i very clearly have absolutely no self esteem . i have no friends either since moving to college so my life consists of classes and work. that's it. i don't like being by myself because i start wondering why i'm alone and then the suicidal thoughts begin.
You should break up with him.
“I tried to steer it away from that, but it didn’t work and we both got heated and he asked me a question four times in a row and when I would get four or five words out, he would cut me off, say “not an answer, try again”, and after the fourth time with that, I do admit I snapped and raised my voice and cut him off. And that’s where it went truly downhill. I got accused of losing my shit at him over a topic I said i wouldn’t do it on. It was one of the bricks of our new foundation and I broke it.”
This ^ is reactive abuse. He pushes and pushes and pushes until you lose it and then be cries victim.
Your relationship is toxic, through and through. Not only are you apparently not sexually compatible but you are not healthy in a mountain of other ways.
It's time to separate and head for divorce.
Lol okay lemme know how it works out for ya
No, you shouldn't have.
Is he the most handsome man in the world?
Yeah it was just a joke, but thank you for making your ambivalence towards me abundantly clear.
This would only lead to more conflict. There's nothing good that could come from it. He's not worth it.
Successfully attacked your senior dog = 3 times Unsuccessfully attacked your kid = 1 time
Save your kid and your old doggo!!!!!!!!! Dont tell me you gonna wait for it to attack again then you'll decide! I would euthanize the dog.
Sportin' the flavor saver I see ? good luck though!
Your comment right here should be enough answer for you. You’re asking strangers to find any reason to stay in the relationship! That should be a huge alarm bells in your head right now!
If my husband ever had a black-eye or told me he got injured… I’d be running straight to the hospital/clinic… wherever… to be with them! I’d be so worried! Also… the only reason why I’d find it acceptable to cancel/postpone the anniversary dinner/celebration is to make sure they get some rest! But if they insisted they still wanna go out… I’d go out but I’d still be worried about them. Not their looks… their health! But also we’d be joking about it for weeks…. Together!
If your gf is more worried about appearances….. that’s a shallow relationship. Can you really see yourself with this type of person for the rest of your life. Imagine your future kids having friggin anxiety because they don’t look “perfect” and have to be the “perfect” image all the time. THAT is exhausting and unbearable.
But… you do you, man.
She didn’t “cheat” she ended the title “relationship” before she started to see other people
How was this arranged if his family doesn’t respect you. We’re you a part of business deal or breeding deal? You and your husband were never compatible. You need to call it quits now before you end up in the hospital or dead.
I am not condoning your wife going through your phone.
As a therapist, however, I can tell you that you should be commenting on your therapist‘s appearance. That was disrespectful to your wife and inappropriate boundary crossing with your therapist.
I dated a guy with OCD. We had a couple conversations about what a (slightly above) reasonable level of clean looks like versus his expectations. I made sure the level of clean met the reasonable level and he did the deep cleaning.
OP's gf doesn't sound like she cares to try to meet the low end of his standards, and that's a core values problem. They may be one of those couples who maintain their own homes instead of live! together, which is perfectly fine.
“He left zero room for negotiation so I had little choice but to agree.” Oh, no you had a choice. And as soon as he acted like that you should have dumped him.
Yea your husband is a pig. If it were my dad doing that I'd call him out on it too and if I heard he yelled at my mom and got in my mom's face over it later I wouldn't let that fly either. He's fucking disgusting and I hope he sees all the people in this thread saying so.
Exactly this.
Yea your husband is a pig. If it were my dad doing that I'd call him out on it too and if I heard he yelled at my mom and got in my mom's face over it later I wouldn't let that fly either. He's fucking disgusting and I hope he sees all the people in this thread saying so.
Drop her
Thanks, I appreciate your feedback. I hope for the best too.
People who cheat are convinced that everyone does
Big red flag
I probably should’ve said this in my original post but both me and my boyfriend have great grades. I had above a 4.0 in high school and so did he. And no, I’ve made plenty of new friends and kept my relationships with my high school friends.
This is also part of why i’m so confused what they’re so against.
You are now finding out why this 30 year old man went after someone so much younger than him. You are his mother. You cook him dinner and do his laundry and he wants to tie you down with children.
Do not have sex with him, and get away from him as soon as you can.
Oh, sorry. We must be reading different posts. The one I see has someone talking about how they are an elegantly-dressed MD in the presence of a lot of guys one could define as “alternatives” and is shocked that “they” rejected her, at least once implicitly in favor of another alt. Giving a bit of an overall vibe of “how dare these lesser people reject me?”
Cheating is cheating. Gender doesn't matter in this situation. I'm really sorry you're going through this, but you made the right decision in leaving and not going back. I hope you can find peace and someone who will appreciate you and stay loyal to you regardless of their sexuality.
Most likely, they are not open minded people. While you’re open to their scene and lifestyle, they are not open to yours. They just don’t approve of how you dress and what you do. Nothing to do with who you are.
There's really nothing you can do to “balance” pregnancy hormones. Fuck with those and you run the risk of losing the baby. No doctor will do it just because pregnancy made the woman a bitch
This isn’t normal. Maybe if it’s a gay best friend. Too weird dude.
I’ve never seen someone be this willfully stupid. She’s either cheating already or about to and you’re asking what you should do? Dump her and stop being so blind.
I don’t get this. You don’t have to rush to get married. You can still have a bachelorette party (minus the booze). This seems to be a you problem more than him.
If he was leaving you right after the baby was born, I would fully agree he shouldn’t go, but that isn’t happening.
Bachelor party is for the guy, wedding is for the girl. Although the pregnancy does complicate things..
I've done this before while having a deep conversation in my car with someone. He would have seen them try and recloth if there was anything sexual happening.
Exactly. My fiancé had therapy live!, kinda like a videocall. I COULD habe eavesdropped, never did. Such an invasion of privacy
Forgiveness is for you. There's really nothing you can't forget because you wear the scars both mentally and physically and his mere existence is a trigger for you.
Your brother seems irredeemable and whether he said what he said or not, doesn't negate that he hasn't changed and perhaps he wants some money from you.
Op, continue your therapy and living as freely and safely as possible. It's been 23 years. It's too late.
There's no true repentance from your brother at all.
K thx bye
I mean, I'm obviously going to talk with her all about it again if I bring up an open relationship so maybe just me bringing that up makes her realize how I feel the situation is.
I mean, I'm obviously going to talk with her all about it again if I bring up an open relationship so maybe just me bringing that up makes her realize how I feel the situation is.
What kind of environment are you in where kissing multiple different men/women a night is commonplace?
We call once a day. I would talk about more interesting topics with them, but they just wanna hear about my day, which is sometimes a bit annoying (after a long day at work they start asking questions about work and again giving advice).
I think it’s also a Balkan/Eastern-European cultural thing…
We call once a day. I would talk about more interesting topics with them, but they just wanna hear about my day, which is sometimes a bit annoying (after a long day at work they start asking questions about work and again giving advice).
I think it’s also a Balkan/Eastern-European cultural thing…
We call once a day. I would talk about more interesting topics with them, but they just wanna hear about my day, which is sometimes a bit annoying (after a long day at work they start asking questions about work and again giving advice).
I think it’s also a Balkan/Eastern-European cultural thing…
Well, I would say that those alternative forms of intimacy should have done something what was intended. Its clear that you weren't completely ignoring him.
Again, his choices were wrong. His feelings…Well…that's something to discuss.
I know when my ex put on the weight, didn't feel 'sexy' and all the common body changes she experienced – she was still the only woman I wanted. It fucking sucked. It does a real number on both sides. The rejection really messes with you and can really impact your state of mind and your ability to make the right choices in a situation that would otherwise be a non-issue. Start with the feelings of rejection, add onto that the stresses of being a new parent, knowing you're WRONG to have the expectations and needs you're feeling, that masturbation is also often viewed as shameful too so people (both men and women look down on folks who do it), lack of sleep because you have a newborn, financial stresses, etc.
It's not an excuse, it's context.
Then he absolutely fucked up.
I know OK has it punishable with a felony and up to 5 years.
You sound like you need to.work on yourself and your mental health. Never mind your relationship, this is clearly about you.
Yes. Leave her alone. And please read about cancer research.
You’re annoying.
Do S & A have an art studio?
32 year old American trying to lockdown and capture a 22 year old foreigner 🙁 I already know his character, he sounds like a manipulative exploitative user. Please don't let him trick you babe he doesn't deserve you or any future children with you
Either they are all in on it….or it's not entirely true.
No you’re not being a prude, if she wants to fuck other people while in a relationship then she needs to date poly men and not get into monogamous relationships
Did you overreact?
Maybe, maybe not.
You messaged her parents out of concern (or revenge). Doesn't really matter.
Call it closure on your part and never look back.
Well, if he didn’t kiss them or get BJs, that makes it ok then.
I think you need to develop an escape plan. Tell your parents about the issue and take off to live! with them. If you can.
She didn't say it until he commented. His reaction was absolutely over the top. She is not blameless.
His reaction was unacceptable. Adults don’t act that way. And for what triggered it, she sure as hell didn’t deserve that.
She might not have even fully realized it until that exact moment, when they were discussing these things out loud and running away on their fantasies together. Women are told to expect marriage and children all their lives, and that very well could have been the moment she realized that in her heart, she didn’t naturally see children in her future.
The way to have the discussion is to go “hey honey, can we talk? I know we fantasized about having kids in the future but I'm not sure I want them anymore”. Not to fantasize about not having kids before admitting it.
Again – you have no idea what the timeline on this thought process was, and neither does OP. Operating under the assumption that she acted with malice here is ridiculous and baseless, when she literally came out and told him honestly before the wedding and gave him the out and invited him to have that discussion.
And honestly, with the stupid animal-like display he put on after finding out the truth, I wouldn’t be surprised if anyone would be reluctant to have an honest and difficult conversation with him. Act like a spaz, watch people tiptoe around you like you’re a spaz, and all that.
If you change your mind about wanting kids, it's you who needs to speak first, not wait until you're fantasizing about the future and your partner realizes your plans have changed.
She did. You’re upset she didn’t plan a whole event to discuss something that might be relatively new information to her as well. It literally doesn’t matter as long as OP has the information before the wedding, and he does.
By the way, you're a coward for insulting me and then blocking me.
I didn’t block you, lol.
I hope so.
Yes, they always do that. Telling people to blow up their lives due to morality without thinking through the consequences. OP doesn't have any obligation to get involved, she just needs to walk away.
she was saying how much she loved me and didn't wanna lose me but that she made too many mistakes and said she didn't deserve the love I was giving her
While the obvious read is that she did something conspicuously bad like cheat or whatever I actually think it is just as plausible that this represents a lack of self esteem on her part. That when she says she doesn't 'deserve' your love that's a harsh judgment of herseelf. That her 'mistakes' are probably not real mistakes but rather just harsh judgements of herself. If she has had a history of being nude on herself then this would obviously fit.
Regardless, she did give you the explanation. That really she just doesn't feel she deserves you, whatever the reason. Being in a relationship where you don't feel good enough can be absolute torture and I think given she said all that it does make sense.
She was for a time, but stopped for financial reasons while we were still LDR and has yet to find another therapist I am, yes. As for whether I want kids, that's a little more complicated. In theory, yeah, but given the way the world is going we've both agreed that it might not be kind to do so. We tentatively plan to have the procedure reversed later on if things get better for the world, but we've both agreed that we would be content to live out our lives together without kids
I simply would never advise anyone to get a fwb tattoo
A lot of kink play is platonic. And it doesn't necessarily mean anyone is “gay” or “straight”.
Where did she lie in the first place?
Oh so you’re sad sad
Oh so you’re sad sad
Oh so you’re sad sad