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Allison Palmer, 28 y.o.
Location: Medell, ín, Colombia
Room subject: very hot [0 tokens remaining]
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Date: September 16, 2022
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You already know what the problem is. That she doesn’t see the issue with her attitude and actions. You have set a boundary, and she refuses to respect it. You should leave, and find yourself someone else.
The concern here is that she has shown a pattern of ultimatums which is not healthy for a relationship. It's actually a red flag as it is controlling.
I can get behind the alcohol or her Ultimatum if the drinking is excessive. You gave in and now she is pressing for the dog to be rehomed.
Forcing you to get rid of your dog is just going to breed resentment between you two.
Keeping him could possibly do the same.
You can keep your dog and just break up with her and still be a father to the baby. You'd still need a solution such as a dog walker though or doggy day care but it would remove the controlling/manipulative GF.
If you go this route I'd suggest you consult a lawyer immediately and say nothing until after you have found a new place to on-line (unless you own the place). Don't forget the DNA test JIC, (I am very pro DNA test).
If you do the doggy daycare route/ dog walking you need to have a good amount of money to afford it and your child.
As the price of doggy daycare or dog walking isn't accounting for any vet bills you may incur if he is attacked or he attacks or if a dog gets sick and contagious and your dog gets sick.
That means you'd need to either create an emergency fund for him or get him doggy health insurance, possibly both (if you haven't done so).
As a side note: just because the dog isn't hers doesn't mean she couldn't have taken him for a walk.
If she is going to use the “not my responsibility” card there will be many things that occur in your relationship (should it continue) that isn't technically your responsibility.
It would do her well to remember that.
This is already screaming dysfunctional and the baby hasn't even been born yet.
Which he has every right to do considering the circumstances. I don't see anyone bashing women for making accusations against men, even when the resukts are far less life altering than I dunno…. finding out his child may or may not even be his. Women cheat just as much as men so having valid reason to question and hopefully get peace of mind isn't asking much in comparison.
If questioning someone's character was reason to bash or ostracize someone then I see a whole lot of women who should be getting that very same treatment all over the place.
Yeah I don’t plan on being friends with him for much longer
You're not friends now. You're trying to get an innocent animal away from an abusive asshole.
I missed the phobia, could you elaborate on what you mean? I re-read their comment but I can’t work out which bit you mean.
This sounds like a huge trust-gap.
Obviously without knowing all the people involved this is impossible to sort. But.
In your place, I would feel the vacation would be dishonest, or at least lacking in complete honesty, which comes to the same thing.
I would probably bow out of the vacation and the relationship right away.
You say the tickets are non-transferable… but maybe she can get her back-pocket boy’s name on the ticket. But that can be her problem: your problem is, you’re in a relationship with someone you don’t trust and apparently with good reason. You might write a nice note to the parents and say, “Thank you, but it’s become clear we aren’t going to work out, and I feel it would be dishonest to go on this trip at this point.”