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Date: November 1, 2022
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There’s nothing for you to apologize for. Maybe he thought he could get past the culture thing and realized that wasn’t the case. But it sounds like he didn’t respect your boundaries in the beginning which I think is a huge problem. The best course of action is to distance yourself— true friends don’t act this way. And again, do not apologize. Your feelings are valid and it sounds like he wants to avoid any blame.
You’re young and the minute she hit you the relationship needs to end. It’s abuse. Nobody should put their hands on somebody else. She either has huge anger issues or she’s very immature. And definitely not marriage ready. Good luck to you.
What's happening here is your “friend” has insecurities and issues. Wouldn't really bother listening to much he has to say. You don't need “permission” from him in any way. Simple as that. He's just trying to assert control over people. The only person that has the right to give permission is the girl. But whatever happens between you too bear in mind she also has issues. Chasing a guy around when he's banging other people and getting upset when he doesn't want to be her boyfriend is abnormal.
All in all- wear a condom.
Or it could just be that he was burned at a former workplace/friendliness was misinterpreted, and he suffered consequences for that. It shouldn't be an issue if someone only wants to socialize within a certain subset of the work culture. No one is entitled to your friendship – he's remaining respectfully professional.
If he refuses to use a condom when you want to use a condom, that'd be sexual assualt. No glove, no love. That's it. I don't agree with keeping secrets in a relationship. If he can't respect your sexual boundaries then you should not be with him.
I don't see any possible 'adult' conversation that OP could've had with her boyfriend that would've made him admit he is a thirsty, desperate, dishonest dirtbag without the proof there.
The sister likely had a sense of what he was like and wanted to help her sister find out first hand. And guess what, it worked, and now OP is saved from wasting her precious time in a relationship with a cringey cheater.
If he wasn't a cringey cheater, then no harm, no foul. Nothing would've happened. The sister didn't even need to really do anything, she literally just added him and it was enough to start him off like a jack in the box. I hope he learns from this and gets a grip.
Why don’t you ever pay when you go out or go shopping? If your answer is “he doesn’t let me” that’s bullshit. You’re an equal part of the relationship and you can decline. If you feel guilty it’s probably because you know you don’t treat him the same way he treats you. So why is that? Start insisting the same way he does. Be more assertive.
Staying with her you will just prolong your suffering and will lead you to more disappointments and wasted time you could use to heal.
What's a micro cheat like just the tip?
Question: You ask whether Husband's new behavior suggests a new, hopeful attitude towards the situation, or a purely selfish motive. But if his motives are selfish, then why does he not just claim conjugal rights, use you for sex, and (if this is about children) get you pregnant? Why bother with dates and feelings? In the world of arranged marriage, sex happens before romance even begins. That Husband is going about it the other way is very curious. He seems to have very mixed-up feelings about tradition in the community vs cultural norms in the USA where you live. To me, this suggests that he is indeed working out these feelings.