Not every minute detail of the relationship rules need to be spelled out…
It’s implied when you’re in a monogamous relationship that kissing other people is against the rules. The only times that’s not true is when kissing other people has been discussed as to be fair game.
Just like most people don’t discuss crazy stuff like gangbangs or glory holes not being allowed. If it’s not discussed to be allowed, it’s not allowed by default.
What are you doing with a man his age who is unable to buy a gun due to prior convictions, has temper tantrums like a toddler and itching to use the n-word because he has total disregard for black people? Someone with that short of temper should not be allowed to have a gun especially near you. Where is your family? Do you have a support system who can help you to get away from him?
To be honest , a few issues have already come up … it’s nothing serious enough yet that I’d want to end it even with a partner without BPD . I think I’m just seeing this condition in her and these issues now that I’m aware of her condition. I completely agree with the navigation/compatibility thing too , really good advice thank you
True. Yes we’ve spoken about it numerous times over the last couple years and from his side he thinks could be related to him maybe having depression or possible adhd/asd.
I love him and don’t want to keep bringing it up once a week because he has stresses at work and thinks this just adds to it, makes him really upset to know I’m unfulfilled romantically/sexually.
There are a lot of us who had weird sexual experiences as kids, and you have nothing to feel ashamed of. You were just a kid, you didn’t have any ability to A. Know what you were doing B. Understand any of it C. Be able to understand what is healthy curiosity and if you should even be concerned
Kids have influences from parents, siblings and family members, books, tv, and a hundred other different things that make us very curious about sex. It’s okay. You didn’t do anything really wrong, as long as you didn’t sexually violate your pet, just a kiss and imagining it was a person is yes weird, but innocent child experimentation.
Please don’t be so hot on yourself. As for telling your boyfriend, if he is not the kind to judge you then yes get it off your chest. If he’s a judgmental kind of person who will make you feel bad, hold off. Try testing him. Ask him to tell you something, and let him know you’re trying to work up the courage to tell him something that really embarrasses you about childhood. See what he says and if he’s kind about it first.
I wouldn't jump straight to divorce without getting couples therapy first. It's very clear he's not placing enough value on you or the kids while thinking it's perfectly acceptable to spend thousands on a stupid country club membership for himself. His priorities are skewed, and it needs to be addressed with a neutral, specialized party. If he refuses couples therapy, drop his ass.
Thanks for your reply, I just hope he gives me a chance; I’m very gentleman like and light hearted, which I would think doesn’t give off a challenging energy. I will say again though that I don’t do ultimatums.
Hey, going through something similar. Sometimes it is just not the same. What happened that ended it the first time?
Not every minute detail of the relationship rules need to be spelled out…
It’s implied when you’re in a monogamous relationship that kissing other people is against the rules. The only times that’s not true is when kissing other people has been discussed as to be fair game.
Just like most people don’t discuss crazy stuff like gangbangs or glory holes not being allowed. If it’s not discussed to be allowed, it’s not allowed by default.
What are you doing with a man his age who is unable to buy a gun due to prior convictions, has temper tantrums like a toddler and itching to use the n-word because he has total disregard for black people? Someone with that short of temper should not be allowed to have a gun especially near you. Where is your family? Do you have a support system who can help you to get away from him?
To be honest , a few issues have already come up … it’s nothing serious enough yet that I’d want to end it even with a partner without BPD . I think I’m just seeing this condition in her and these issues now that I’m aware of her condition. I completely agree with the navigation/compatibility thing too , really good advice thank you
He was drunk and tired. It’s that simple. Stop overthinking this.
Good lesson for you here: no one owes you sex. They are always allowed to say no for any reason. Let this go.
If that's true, get therapy! You are in no condition for a romantic relationship.
This is the same guy who screamed at you because you wouldn’t make him a sandwich and said he was only with you because of your ‘caring nature.’
Have some self respect and dump this guy.
True. Yes we’ve spoken about it numerous times over the last couple years and from his side he thinks could be related to him maybe having depression or possible adhd/asd.
I love him and don’t want to keep bringing it up once a week because he has stresses at work and thinks this just adds to it, makes him really upset to know I’m unfulfilled romantically/sexually.
There are a lot of us who had weird sexual experiences as kids, and you have nothing to feel ashamed of. You were just a kid, you didn’t have any ability to A. Know what you were doing B. Understand any of it C. Be able to understand what is healthy curiosity and if you should even be concerned
Kids have influences from parents, siblings and family members, books, tv, and a hundred other different things that make us very curious about sex. It’s okay. You didn’t do anything really wrong, as long as you didn’t sexually violate your pet, just a kiss and imagining it was a person is yes weird, but innocent child experimentation.
Please don’t be so hot on yourself. As for telling your boyfriend, if he is not the kind to judge you then yes get it off your chest. If he’s a judgmental kind of person who will make you feel bad, hold off. Try testing him. Ask him to tell you something, and let him know you’re trying to work up the courage to tell him something that really embarrasses you about childhood. See what he says and if he’s kind about it first.
Let us know how it goes. Good luck ? OP
I wouldn't jump straight to divorce without getting couples therapy first. It's very clear he's not placing enough value on you or the kids while thinking it's perfectly acceptable to spend thousands on a stupid country club membership for himself. His priorities are skewed, and it needs to be addressed with a neutral, specialized party. If he refuses couples therapy, drop his ass.
Thanks for your reply, I just hope he gives me a chance; I’m very gentleman like and light hearted, which I would think doesn’t give off a challenging energy. I will say again though that I don’t do ultimatums.
Seinfeld