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Nury Forero, 23 y.o.
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Online Live Sex Chat rooms Nury Forero
Date: October 16, 2022
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When people can't control their anger (bonus for blaming you for making them angry/gaslighting), that's an enormous red flag, no excuses.
TL; DR: your boyfriend has some really common but poisonous issues.
This isn’t really about the iPad.
It’s about him failing to fit his actual real relationship and life into an ideal that he himself is actually responsible for but for which he isn’t taking responsibility.
When somebody says he isn’t doing anything with his life because he’s just coming home and playing video games, I’m not terribly sympathetic.; that’s a choice to be a boring person.
When he blames that on a partner, it makes me feel downright hostile.
His life sucks because you aren’t buying lingerie? He hasn’t bought a house because of you?
Notice this: he gets bent out of shape because the iPad which he never fixed but which you did is bent out of shape. But he doesn’t let you make it right by replacing it.
This is straight up a need to put his inadequacies and self-disgust on you, making it your fault, and not permitting you to make the changes that would reveal that it’s actually his deficiencies.
This is a common tactic. But it rarely goes away without therapy. Let him go. Refuse to shoulder the blame for his refusal to be an adult and take responsibility for his life and it’s direction.
Why is she your only support system? That isn’t healthy for either of you. It sounds like she is realizing you have a codependent relationship and doesn’t want that anymore, but you are just seeing this in terms of your losses? What have you done to create a support system beyond her? Are there other resources available to you? As you know quite well, there are no guarantees in life, what if she disappeared tomorrow, what would you do? What would happen if she stays, you have a child together and she died in childbirth? How would you handle that? You have not set up any additional support for yourself and you are making her responsible for you completely. That is not fair.
Well that's what I did now but I simply believe her that she doesn't know what she wants. I trust her that it's not easy for her and not just about a different guy or something like that. So I tried to be understanding, obviously because she means a lot to me after ten years. But I'm at a point where I think I habe given her enough time and room. It's frustrating, I care for her but this is so annoying and I think you wouldn't treat someone like that.
Why would you compromise and come to a reasonable accommodation for everyone when you could escalate endlessly and destroy your marriage?