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Juliya, 21 y.o.
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Online Live Sex Chat rooms Juliya
Date: October 14, 2022
AmateurPub
Nope
There's so much going on here but you really badly need to get out of your head how you feel about virginity. It's not healthy and is straight up backward.
I saw the words “husband stitch” in the title and I was seeing red and had to put my phone down for a second before I went on an absolute rage fest.
I read further and it didn't get better. It got worse.
Your husband is not as clueless as you think, clearly, since he had the “sense” (I say that in the loosest, most sarcastic way possible) to ask for the extra stitch as you were being sown back up.
You had just birthed his child, literally ripped your body apart, and the first thing on his mind was “oh yes, let's “joke” with the doctor about adding an extra stitch to make sex more pleasurable for me the next time my wife let's me have some.
No. Just no.
He knew exactly what he was doing, and he wasn't joking. And the fact that he has been pestering you for sex before you're medically cleared proves that.
Dump that absolute dumpster fire of boy that is masquerading as a man in the trash where he belongs, and throw the divorce papers on top of him.
You deserve better than that. Like a parter that respects you? And doesn't treat you like all he views you as is a means for his own sexual gratification?
It sucks because if Jayson ever called Andy’s point stupid, everyone would’ve been on his case.
And yeah they’re doing it to keep the family together and since Jayson is the youngest and the nicest boy ever, they blame him for everything and he stays quite about it.
It doesn't really matter what he said at all. And like you just said. You have a lot of guy friends. Why can't he have female friends. Don't be too controlling about what your partner is doing. And don't be hypocritical. Controlling who they are friends with is not an okay boundary to cross
Thank you for your thorough response, your concern for my family and for sharing a bit about yourself.
This was way more thoughtful than your other comment about my husband having no idea who he married. Briefly, about that, he had a lot of information about me and was hypercritical from the start, which was painful but I endured, but he also knew I came from an abusive household and still managed to verbally and emotionally wear me down. Of course he blamed the pandemic for losing his temper but didn’t agree to go to therapy to work on his anger and his criticism of me.
I know you don’t think much of my therapist but she must’ve taken sage baths after my sessions with her, listening to how rigid and cruel he was. Why didn’t I leave him? Because he was a narcissist who convinced me he knew it all, and his success at work as well as his carefree attitude about people (when I am overly concerned with what others think/feel, especially when I’m not taking good care of myself) underscored that faulty belief. Me being a codependent was the perfect combination for our issues.
Anyway, back in November of 2021, after a series of almost daily arguments and thanksgiving that involved me taking the kids out of the house all evening and having dinner from a convenience store, I said enough is enough. I told him if he didn’t go to therapy that I would leave him. It wasn’t the first time I said it but it had been a really long time since I threatened. I take full responsibility for not doing so, but I couldn’t justify losing time with my kids, being a single mom and having no support from family (my sibling is the only one I’m close to but lives several states away). But I was done. I started sending him articles about coparenting but breaking up, becoming “apartners,” etc. I took my own baby steps. Using your metaphor, the car broke down. But also, in using your metaphor, why was I the one responsible for buying a new one? By myself? When I couldn’t “afford” it? Obviously, looking back, I should’ve taken out a loan, pushed myself, etc because putting myself and my kids through a shitty marriage was unsafe. But I came from a worse unsafe and so my tolerance for pain has always been high.
If only you knew how much I attempted couples therapy with him on my own up until that point. I didn’t want to lose our family. And then bandmate came along. He wasn’t pushy, demanding, or pretty much anything like my husband. Except that they are both reliable, just in different ways. I could count on my husband in emergencies (actually not really as I think about him not calling 911 when I was having a medical emergency because he didn’t think it was one), but I could and can count on my bandmate for emotional support. It still amazes me how emotionally available he is. He was a breath of fresh air and encouraged me to be myself from the start. He’s not perfect and acknowledges it, sometimes to an unhealthy degree, but that’s where we are similar. Obviously I didn’t know all the qualities I love about him from the start, but there are some things that just strike you about people and he was one of those people. From the start I told myself I will be ok if it doesn’t work out, but I needed to get out of, again, to use your metaphor, not just a broken but a burning vehicle. Anyway, it has worked out with him through this incredibly stressful time. And I don’t think there’s any reason to let that go when it’s such a satisfying relationship. And if for some reason it stops being one, and we can’t work it out (although he is in therapy too and would do anything to keep it healthy), my kids and I will be ok. I will not jump into another relationship. I know what I deserve, what everyone deserves (even the asshats on this thread) and I’m not going to settle for familiarity again.
If my kids go through the pain of being cheated on I will acknowledge the hurt I caused their father as I am acknowledging it now, but I hope they never do. Maybe it’s overly naive to think this but if they are truly loved they will not be cheated on, and they will only accept being truly loved and nothing less. So if it happens they will know there wasn’t real love there to begin with and so not much to lose.
As for choosing contentment over happiness, why not both? They can coexist. You can’t always have happiness, obviously, but when there is an opportunity for it, and you’ve had more than your fair share of sadness and isolation, I think you should seize it. Unfortunately, your happiness can be at the expense of someone else’s at times. And that is what I’m dealing with, and came here to contend with… at the same time, it’s such a binary way of thinking that I chose happiness and am in this permanent state of joy and “affair fog” and therefore I left my ex in a state of sadness, shock, anger. No, I am sad to lose access to my children, and he is probably happy that he doesn’t have to pretend to love me anymore. I’ve deleted my post because people were writing ferocious things and I don’t want to feel anymore disappointment in myself or humanity.
Thank you so much ??❤
You caused absolutely nothing. He earned where he is now by abusing you. He caused it.
In my opinion you should have done a lot more. You should have made sure he ended up in prison where he belongs.
Be strong and if you can find someone to talk to do that. Get mentally healthy before you get into another relationship and you'll choose a better partner. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to be safe.