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Date: October 11, 2022
AmateurPub
She is clearly using you for your money. Dump that gold-digging, manipulative, moocher arse of hers and start working towards paying your personal debt off. You deserve better. You have been sensible enough to see her manipulation of hers and her tendencies changing the moment she figured you got a well-paying job.
If for some miraculous reason you still want to be with her draw a clear boundary going forward thing will be split down 50|50 no excuses whether she earns enough or not. If she cannot pay for a month it's her responsibility to figure it out, borrow money or sell her stuff but you will not be paying for her. And if she cannot manage to get it, she goes out the door.
Squatters rights basically don’t exist in someone’s primary domicile anyway. It’s for abandoned properties.
She’d have tenant’s rights, but with no formal tenancy agreement, it’d be a case of statutory minimum notice.
Your sister physically assaulted you (bodily harm).
Your mother FAILED TO HELP YOU, instead trying to get your phone. She then told you you deserved it
Your father IGNORED YOU BEING ASSAULTED and went off and did his own thing.
Your sister only stopped when you gave her your phone. She was not going to stop otherwise and your parents had no intention of stopping her. Instead of helping you they went shopping.
Let’s say this happened again. For whatever reason, you can’t capitulate. Would your sister stop? Or would she keep going until you were significantly injured or worse? And your parents- what would they do? They have already shown that they will coddle and protect her. So they lie to the cops. They maybe leave you at a hospital if you are lucky.
Leave. Now.
Call the police and take photos NOW of your injuries. Go to medical and get it logged.
They haven’t changed, they won’t help you. Walk away now with some bruises and a broken heart that they are like this. Find your chosen family.
And please seek therapy- they have conditioned you to be passive to trauma which puts you in danger.
Really hardcore drugs and very intense sex. Sometimes at the same time. Escape every responsibility I have in life and fuck all the way off to parties for 3 days. Sometimes the parties start on a Tuesday. I can be in different cities, surrounded by the most unlikely of company. A few weeks ago I was in a flat in a city 3 hours from home surrounded in really really sexy Thai women and one other white guy (who I knew). No sex that day, unlucky, but it was surreal.
Fuck life off completely sometimes and disappear, do what you love. Whatever that is. Find your happy and thrive ?
Even in accounting we recognize that the hardware is separate from the subscription. Stop paying with no guilt. You didn’t buy her minutes, you bought her the phone.
He reminds me of the stepdad that poops everywhere and makes the kids clean it up. This is a control issue. It could be a fetish issue. He is clogging the toilet and forcing you and the kids to live with it. Then bullies you for refusing to deal with his literal shit. Ask him if this is really the hill he is willing to die on, because you will be happy to explain to anyone that will listen exactly why you're filing for divorce.
What you're feeling isn't love, it's crippling emotional dependence.
Yes, right. I’d feel the same way if OP were a woman and the other party a man and they pecked a male friend on the lips, or a female friend on the lips, UNDER THESE SAME CIRCUMSTANCES.
He did state otherwise and when she proposed he said no. Not sure what more he could do.
Well, I moved in with my husband a month after meeting him and here we are 12 years later.
Honestly, everyone is different. How long has it been since he divorced? Have you flat out asked him if he sees this going anywhere?
Yeahhh that’s a last nail in the coffin situation. No caring person would ever even dream of making you feel bad for not wanting to be sexually abused, because that’s what that is.
She made the biggest decision you can possibly make in a relationship without consulting you & from my perspective is just keeping you around to fill in for her do-nothing boyfriend when the baby comes. My advice is get out asap, those two are harpies & you are certainly too sweet of a person to be abused & manipulated by trash bags like them.
Sadly- or fortunately?- OP’s bf has SAID it: he doesn’t want to have sex with HER. He said it in a mind twisting way- something about a kink, blah, blah, blah- but he literally told her, I gotta picture someone else. She needs to get out of there. He doesn’t like women in real life.
It’s funny how these people make these posts, then when the community asks for context to help them provide insightful advice, OP disappears.
Dude were you born yesterday? She has a hookup app hidden on her phone and got cagey and defensive when you caught her with it.
Even if she hasn’t cheated yet she’s clearly thinking about it and window shopping whenever you get on her nerves.
Hold up. She called you weak and immature for leaving??
YOU ARE DONE.
You are dealing with an adult woman who will not get therapy to deal with her own issues and she resorts to namecalling?
I don't think the kids got their bad bullshot behavior from Dad.
I think Dad left this house of hell.
I'm sorry, but you need to tell her:
“I am sorry, but your kids don't want me around and after they called me names you decided to pile on top too. I do not need to be in a relationship where me bowing out of a fight you are having with YOUR unruly children out of respect for your parenting results in you calling me names. This relationship just ended. I wish you and your family all the best.”
Walk the fuck away.
I would bet money that you didn't even hear her say “Don't call him a douchebag”.
There is shitty parenting going on here and it is wayyy above your pay grade.
She needs to NOT be in a relationship and focus on her kids for a few years.
Please. Please do not stay in any relationship when you are being verbally abused. Because that is what is happening.
Now you know why that marriage ended. She learned nothing. Step away.
It sounds like you hurt your own feelings. Are my double D's still above my elbows at 40 after breastfeeding? Barely. Do I speak badly about them or myself? Fuck no! Don't speak poorly about yourself, both because there's no acceptable response and because that type of thinking becomes a habit. You start to hear that negative voice in your head when you look in the mirror. That's some toxic shit to do to yourself.
Honestly it took a while, my resentment only negatively affected me, a good friend told me that forgiving is not the same as condoning and that led be on the right track. Sure I thought about petty revenge but what does around comes around. Too much of a headache for people that don’t matter.
He resorted to name calling, is holding a double standard, and then left and ignored you insured of communicating; he’s not being a good partner. If it were me, i would try discussing it and if no meaningful changes occur, i would leave. Actually i would just dump him, bit you can try to discuss it if you think it’s worth it.
What I mean is that she has experienced this situation already once with her first baby. Not the fact she had an actual baby. She is doing what she can to protect herself and her children for later. Even he put it's unplanned and surprised.
My girlfriend has her own house and a 14y kid, I have two disabled teenagers and rent. We've been dating for 10 years because she has no desire to marry or have more kids in her house all the time. A guy that does not want more (or any) kids is only with you as long as that issue doesn't become a deal brealer. I'm OK with it in my life.
If you want a house, kids, etc. You want them with someone as enthusiastic about the idea as you. If you're 2 years in and he's not actively planning that with you it's probably time to reject the 'sunk cost fallacy' and move in with one of your single friends that's also dating with that intention and start dating again.
He is a teacher and it makes him uncomfortable; it's in the other post
Where are you reading that she “desperately” wants a child with an ex she had a week long fling with and then stopped talking to? Because she wants to keep the child she ended up pregnant with, and has decided she doesn’t want to put herself through an abortion? Get a grip lol It makes no sense to sit here and tell somebody they need to get an abortion in this situation just because that’s what you would do.
I think that's why my wife suggested it in the first place. She's also never been with anyone else, and I think she feels a bit more comfortable given the fact that it's her best friend and someone she trusts more than anyone else.
You've been together for over 3 years, this is “part of who you are”, yet you've never ever talked about it before?
Why are you even putting yourself in this at all? Clearly he just moved on and your friend is into him. You shouldn't tell her anything, let her be happy.