It really sucks being cheated on and I have given 2 cheating boyfriends a second chance in the past and they both cheated again within a few weeks.
You're young and I'm sure you're a smart, beautiful, and strong woman. It shouldn't be hard to chart a new path forward with someone new who respects you and your relationship. If you forgave this jerk you'd just be settling for being treated as though you're second best and you deserve much better than that. Good luck for a happy future without having to deal with a cheating jerk.
I don’t think you get it. Like I understand that. But he looks at these women and needs to see “something different” EVERY TIME I LEAVE. I get every so often. But every time? That’s kinda weird. Why not just Break up then. If you’re so into other people.
Then why are you accusing her of using tinder on her phone when she stated she grabbed his phone? Which is a reasonable thing to do. When someone is trying to earn your trust back. And they are looking shady again and you need proof to their shadiness.
I don’t think you get it. Like I understand that. But he looks at these women and needs to see “something different” EVERY TIME I LEAVE. I get every so often. But every time? That’s kinda weird. Why not just Break up then. If you’re so into other people.
You know why? Because you get what you put up with.
They may continue to cheat. They WILL lose respect for your weakness in taking them back, and due to that loss of respect they will lose passion for you, and then love. Then the relationship will die out with a whimper.
In a situation like that, always pull the cord because at least you can look in the mirror at yourself. Imagine wasting more time with this shitty partner, what would that say about you? Shameful.
Therapy is a great start. I have so many questions, but really I'd like some information. You call yourself a narcissist, emotionally abusive, all of that. And you call him misogynistic. Can we have some examples of those?
Only reason I ask is because without examples, it's hot to say whether you were emotionally abusive or if you were gaslighted into thinking so. Or he was actually misogynistic or if he was actually ok. You know?
There are going to be people who tell you to play it cool and just try to be friends moving forward. Those people are wishful thinking idiots. You will NEVER see her in the same light again. Even if you try, that feeling of nonchalant betrayal will sneak up on you out of the blue and have you wondering when she's going to do something like that again.
You don't have to be an asshole to her, but do yourself a favor and choose to move beyond her. If you don't, she will have you mired in a world of confusion and self-doubt. See, SHE probably doesn't know why she did what she did, so anything she says as to “why” is gonna be crap?
Dont tey to rekindle that shit.
You're 20. This was a speed-bump. Leave that whole situation in your rear view and go meet someone new.
We can't help here really. There could be any number of reasons for this from really awful to potentially quite nice. I think the best thing to do is let her know that it's OK and she doesn't need to be sorry and you're there for her if she feels comfortable talking about it.
Not sure why you’re getting downvoted lol. Grooming is when you build up the confidence of a minor so that when they are a legal adult, you have quicker and more immediate access to them. OP isn’t a minor, so he isn’t being groomed by definition. I think the word people are looking for more so is an age gap manipulation.
It’s creepy behavior on her part obviously, but nothing that men don’t already do literally the time with younger women; and in many instances when there’s actual grooming involved and they’ve already been speaking to said woman since she was 16/17 (a minor.)
My advice to OP would be to avoid this situation due to the age gap and risks of an uneven power dynamic, but at the end of the day he’s a legal adult so if he wants to hook up with her, he can.
That's because he respected and looked up to you. That's now been completely destroyed because he found out that you're willing to cheat, betray, and make a farce of relationships that are meant to be based on love and trust.
Why don’t you defend yourself? Tell her what you just posted- that you are a great father and that her statement is very hurtful
Ask her out to a casual lunch and take it from there
It really sucks being cheated on and I have given 2 cheating boyfriends a second chance in the past and they both cheated again within a few weeks.
You're young and I'm sure you're a smart, beautiful, and strong woman. It shouldn't be hard to chart a new path forward with someone new who respects you and your relationship. If you forgave this jerk you'd just be settling for being treated as though you're second best and you deserve much better than that. Good luck for a happy future without having to deal with a cheating jerk.
Not many places hire strippers over 25
I don’t think you get it. Like I understand that. But he looks at these women and needs to see “something different” EVERY TIME I LEAVE. I get every so often. But every time? That’s kinda weird. Why not just Break up then. If you’re so into other people.
Then why are you accusing her of using tinder on her phone when she stated she grabbed his phone? Which is a reasonable thing to do. When someone is trying to earn your trust back. And they are looking shady again and you need proof to their shadiness.
I don’t think you get it. Like I understand that. But he looks at these women and needs to see “something different” EVERY TIME I LEAVE. I get every so often. But every time? That’s kinda weird. Why not just Break up then. If you’re so into other people.
He should just divorce her. She's not worth all of this. There are better women out there. He needs therapy first.
Yes, no tolerance for cheaters.
You know why? Because you get what you put up with.
They may continue to cheat. They WILL lose respect for your weakness in taking them back, and due to that loss of respect they will lose passion for you, and then love. Then the relationship will die out with a whimper.
In a situation like that, always pull the cord because at least you can look in the mirror at yourself. Imagine wasting more time with this shitty partner, what would that say about you? Shameful.
Therapy is a great start. I have so many questions, but really I'd like some information. You call yourself a narcissist, emotionally abusive, all of that. And you call him misogynistic. Can we have some examples of those?
Only reason I ask is because without examples, it's hot to say whether you were emotionally abusive or if you were gaslighted into thinking so. Or he was actually misogynistic or if he was actually ok. You know?
That's gonna take a few days or idk how long. The poor dude got his soul ripped out
There are going to be people who tell you to play it cool and just try to be friends moving forward. Those people are wishful thinking idiots. You will NEVER see her in the same light again. Even if you try, that feeling of nonchalant betrayal will sneak up on you out of the blue and have you wondering when she's going to do something like that again.
You don't have to be an asshole to her, but do yourself a favor and choose to move beyond her. If you don't, she will have you mired in a world of confusion and self-doubt. See, SHE probably doesn't know why she did what she did, so anything she says as to “why” is gonna be crap?
Dont tey to rekindle that shit.
You're 20. This was a speed-bump. Leave that whole situation in your rear view and go meet someone new.
We can't help here really. There could be any number of reasons for this from really awful to potentially quite nice. I think the best thing to do is let her know that it's OK and she doesn't need to be sorry and you're there for her if she feels comfortable talking about it.
DAMMIT NO
Not sure why you’re getting downvoted lol. Grooming is when you build up the confidence of a minor so that when they are a legal adult, you have quicker and more immediate access to them. OP isn’t a minor, so he isn’t being groomed by definition. I think the word people are looking for more so is an age gap manipulation.
It’s creepy behavior on her part obviously, but nothing that men don’t already do literally the time with younger women; and in many instances when there’s actual grooming involved and they’ve already been speaking to said woman since she was 16/17 (a minor.)
My advice to OP would be to avoid this situation due to the age gap and risks of an uneven power dynamic, but at the end of the day he’s a legal adult so if he wants to hook up with her, he can.
That's because he respected and looked up to you. That's now been completely destroyed because he found out that you're willing to cheat, betray, and make a farce of relationships that are meant to be based on love and trust.
Cut her off, in literally every way possible, and (this is important) keep going to therapy.