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Sara, 22 y.o.
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Date: November 3, 2022
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Tell him to buzz off.
Reading your post:
he got worried about a bad nursing team for his siblings, threw them out and got all of them over to your house.
So you are living in a nursing home now. Without a chance on a say in whatever concerns both of you.
Depending on their condition and the progress/ stagnation of his siblings health status you may be in for tenth of years of life being unimportant in your own home.
YOU value your marriage. HE values his siblings.
The chance, that you may be really able to sit through it until it eventually ever gets better again are very small.
Depending on what caused their conditions they still may have a very long life ahead of them.
You spoke about “brittle bones”.
Prior to ever thinking of having children, please have checked genetically, if there isn't a hereditary health condition in that family.
Where his parents may be responsible for his siblings mental state, the brittle bone issue very likely can't be imputed to them.
Inform yourself of what is REALLY happening in that family.
Him being apparently healthy may not be a safeguard of him transmitting a genetically transmissible condition.
Consider having children twice and really really do get records straight. Otherwise what HE is going through currently with his siblings may become YOUR future with your children.
You have taken that decision now, which really shows how much you love him and stand by him.
But do rember: if it becomes unbearble… these are his kin. Not yours. You had no say. So it's not a responsibility YOU have to bear until you own age.
I am very sorry that this happened to you. And seeing your husband act as though he was a skilled medical caregiver and could decide on all that without medical supervision makes me upset for his siblings. And for you.
He may be in to -one not so far day- being totally burned out. Healthcare is a job division eating up the peoples strengt and lives who are working in it.
Please do consider that.
And closely watch your own mental and physical health and chose to take the door if it becomes unbearable.
He left your common marriage the day he went to housemate and caregiver modus with his siblings.
I don't know if you really processed this by now.
Probably why we don’t marry 20 year olds.
I would leave. From your other comments you’ve tried counseling and talking it out. Time to call it a day and ditch the insecure boy.
My got this man was blackout drunk and the woman was sober. This wasn’t cheating. She SA’ed him.