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Drew, y.o.
Location: California
Room subject: PUT IN LOVENSE EDGE [289 tokens left]
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Date: November 1, 2022
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Just to be clear, my husband and I aren’t currently trying for a baby
I recently got on the pill and we’re using condom
Does your husband not know condoms prevent his sperm from going into your vaginal canal?
Also, why are you lying to him? Talk to him. And if you feel you can't talk to him, there are larger issues in your relationship than your fear of having kids right now.
I wouldn't go tit-for-tat here.
First, asking her to unfollow and block her exes is very different from what she did without asking. So it's not like you would be proving the salient point here, which is that she did not respect your autonomy. If you skip the asking step and take her phone yourself, all you're doing is joining her in the mud and losing any credibility you would have in objecting to her actual misconduct.
Second, I will freely admit to my own bias here, but the idea that you have to block your exes “just because” makes no sense to me. If someone is hung up on an ex, they will continue to be hung up on them regardless of IG. If someone is going to cheat with an ex, they will definitely find a way to do that in or out of DMs. Monitoring a significant other's social media is both weirdly controlling and completely ineffective. If someone is concerned about an SO's exes, they should perform some introspection to figure out if the insecurity is internally or externally motivated, and if they conclude that there is some behavior on their SO's part that they dislike, talk to the SO about it to (a) see if there's an explanation that assuages their concerns or (b) see if the SO is willing to change that behavior.
Third, this is an excellent opportunity to communicate with your girlfriend about something she did that bothered you. You're in a relationship — there will be conflict. It's inevitable! How you two raise and then resolve a conflict is much more important to your future together than who's following whom on social media. You're supposed to be a team. She treated you like a subordinate. Talk about it with her. If you can't have a difficult conversation with her, then that's the problem you should be focusing on.