You are 100% on the money insisting on counseling or divorce and that it wouldn't be healthy for you or your child to stay in your relationship otherwise. TBH your husband sounds off his rocker with the bizarre accusations. (I hate speculating as reddit tends to do, but it sounds so much like other stories where a partner flies off the handle over something minor/out of nowhere, and it turns out they were looking for an excuse to end things because they were already deep into an affair and wanted an “easy” way out. But then again he already showed his insecurity with blowing up over the vibrator months ago, so who knows. He sounds like a man-baby who maybe is just mad now that an actual baby is here and needs your time and attention, too.)
You are 100% on the money insisting on counseling or divorce and that it wouldn't be healthy for you or your child to stay in your relationship otherwise. TBH your husband sounds off his rocker with the bizarre accusations. (I hate speculating as reddit tends to do, but it sounds so much like other stories where a partner flies off the handle over something minor/out of nowhere, and it turns out they were looking for an excuse to end things because they were already deep into an affair and wanted an “easy” way out. But then again he already showed his insecurity with blowing up over the vibrator months ago, so who knows. He sounds like a man-baby who maybe is just mad now that an actual baby is here and needs your time and attention, too.)
I’m saying that you shouldn’t bring it up to him. This is something for you to work through on your own.