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Date: October 23, 2022
What he told me the doctor said *
I’m sorry what the two of you are going through, that’s unimaginable. However, you’re as much of a part of this decision as she is. The decision on whether to raise the rapist’s baby needs to be a “two yes” situation. If you don’t feel comfortable with raising or loving this child, your wife needs to know while there’s enough time for her to consider all her options. This is not something that you should be forced to do. Because this child will be better off in a home where it is loved and wanted. It will be able to tell if it’s not, because its half siblings will be loved. And just because she decides to keep it, doesn’t mean you should be forced to financially support and raise it. I know your wife is worried about the foster system, but if you work with an agency before she gives birth, the baby will have parents lined up and ready to take over when she gives birth. Speak to your lawyer to make sure that the rapist doesn’t get to stop you from adopting the baby out.
Not wanting to be involved, or go to the doctor, or raise it, does not make you a bad person. If the world was a just place, this child would never exist. I’m not sure if the two of you are doing couples, counseling or therapy, but I would highly urge you speak to your therapist about this, privately, so they could find a way to broach the topic for the two of you to have an honest conversation in a safe environment.
Oh man I remember feeling this way when I was pregnant. Being pregnant isn’t always great. I love being a parent but having to be the only one carrying the load of that is a lot. Easy to be resentful especially when you’re younger and your life changes drastically. Your feelings are valid but I think you need to focus on your bachelorette party. You both deserve the experiences you want. You can still have a bad ass bachelorette party even if it’s a year after the wedding. Start planning the bachelorette party you can have now that you’ve made this choice to have the baby.
Like someone else said, start planning now, let your fiancé know you plans. If he’s not supportive that’s a problem, but I think you should prepare yourself for a very different experiences for the next 9ish months of pregnancy. Express how you want your fiancé to support you through this time. But I think trying to take away his bachelor party would be a bit unfair and would lead to more resentment.
Maybe the wedding needs to wait? Maybe you’re not ready for the baby? I don’t think the bachelor party is the issue.
Going to flip the situation around. You’re now the one who isn’t as involved in the therapy process anymore and requesting oral sex from him. He ignores your message. You send it again. He tells you he no longer finds you desirable and you’re not contributing to the relationship anymore isn’t helping the case. You don’t reply to that message in the past 2 days. He posts on Reddit that you are emotionally immature and manipulative.
The answer in both cases seems to be: End the relationship. You’re not compatible for different reasons. Both of which are unfortunate. Both of you are displaying emotional immaturity.