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Date: September 24, 2022

62 thoughts on “18perfecttits

  1. Order one of those period pain simulators and see how high both of you can go. Bet he’s screaming before you’re even wincing

  2. Considering you’ve only been with this person for a year, you’ve lost your job and say you can’t get another for another month, and there’s about 1 million other red flags, I don’t blame him for not wanting a child at the moment. And OP, based on your other posts you have made over the past few days, I can tell that there’s definitely A LOT of info you are not telling us.

  3. Coming out of an abusive relationship messes up with your head and she clearly has her own issues to deal with. So I won’t necessarily say she is an asshole – though she sounds irresponsible.

    However, it’s not your burden to take on a person as a project and help her if you feel you’re not satisfied with the relationship/situation. Which you clearly are not.

    She is responsible for her happiness and herself – and your are responsible for yours. Since she is the source of yours issues, you need to let her go. Regardless of how much you love her, put yourself first. Be warned that she might gaslight you to force you to keep her in this advantageous situation for her.

  4. So the guy was just a fling. she'd gotten out of a toxic relationship and after that she had a fling with this guy who was her classmate. She says she's cut ties with him ever since she confessed her feelings for me

  5. I actually don't agree with this.

    I went through a similar thing, and it's all of that hope for a possible relationship building up and up, and then it all being crushed when you thought it was going to work out.

    She is just grieving the loss of a relationship she wanted, and just needs space, in my opinion.

    Space to work things out fully is what I would do. Tell him that you just need a few days to sort yourself out mentally and go on, working on yourself

  6. It's time to move on & possibly get some therapy. You didn't take your shot with him & now he has someone in his life.

  7. I guess its also because I dont know why I broke up with her. I dont know if I was down for a serious relationship yet, but once the tears started going I kind of doubled down since I felt I had ruined things anyways.

    I'm usually pretty agreeable. I don't know how to make someone genuinely feel like I'm listening/takening responsibility without seeming.. pandering? Like immediately after the fuckup in the station I was like, 'Yknow what this was a really awful place for me to do this, and I fucked up really badly. Please let me get you out of here and take you home'

  8. Listen to yourself. You are asking us if there is a chance of a life with a prostitute. Smell the coffee cause you sound clueless

  9. He's gaslighting you into believing that you're overreacting. You are not overreacting. Your first instinct was right. You need to leave him. I hate to say that, but I really think you do

  10. She screamed at your child over her dead mother.

    Read that over and over again. If you bring that woman back, you don't really give a shit about your daughter.

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  12. I was in a similar situation minus the physical assault, my sister was psycho and dad always took her side, like screaming abuse top of her lungs and wailing crying running to dad just because I asked if she wanted pizza for dinner. Then I got in trouble… I spent many nights as a teen sleeping at bus shelters purely because I didn’t want to go home. Unfortunately I don’t have a quick fix for you but would strongly recommend moving out asap. Your life will improve tremendously

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  14. Nah, resist the parting shot bro. Don’t stoop. Be classy and clean. Leave no trace. No reason. Nothing. Just let her go.

    Then hit the gym. And when you’re ready, get back out there.

  15. Like everyone else has already said, this was sexual abuse and I’m so sorry it happened to you. You didn’t deserve that, even if you were drinking. If it isn’t ENTHUSIASTIC consent, it’s coercion…

    No one else has mentioned this yet but it was also really, really inappropriate and borderline abusive to force you in front of other people, especially her cousins. Asleep or not (I certainly would have feigned being asleep…) They didn’t consent to being present for that either. She didn’t just disregard your feelings, she also could have potentially made her own family members really uncomfortable/upset by putting them in a situation where they’re witnessing sexual stuff they didn’t agree to be part of. Generally all around gross and inappropriate behavior. I hope you have people you can talk to or some kind of outreach/counselor etc you feel safe telling this story to.

  16. They can’t even confirm Mia is a client. The most you could do is call and say I know x is a client this is what’s happening, I’m telling her Wednesday: do what you need to “if” she is your client

  17. Also try to resolve it without telling your Mum if possible as it may create tensions and rifts between your Mum and wife otherwise.

  18. Wanting to punish your partner? That’s messed up and eventually you will loose them being this shitty and selfish. You should have enough love and compassion to want the supposed love of your life to eat dinner. What if your partner becomes paralyzed. Are you going to starve them because they did something to upset you? You’re lucky this has been allowed for 7 years that’s crazy

  19. Continue your therapy and work on moving on. Nothing good will come from trying to reach out to this person again.

  20. I’ve been a contract negotiator for 20 years. Sometimes you hold all the cards and you can just tell them take it or leave it.

  21. Maybe get some literature on sleep training. There’s so many scare stories out there about emotional damage. Maybe if she had some informed strategies that aren’t as seemingly intense as the cry it out strategy you can nudge her that way. Like starting with nap times in the nursery with a monitor. Do you ever offer to put baby down for naps? You could do this and start with staying in the nursery for baby’s nap until baby sleeps, then transition slowly to leaving baby on their own, if your wife sees it gently done she may be more inclined to do it herself.

  22. Lol i wonder why he would a prenup…answer read these shit comments…

    Basically she gets everything and he is her indetured servant for life? Get the fuck out of here.

    I wasnt rooting for him until i read these comments. Now i hope he sticks to his guns and keeps this prenup. Men need to be treated better in divorces this is insane.

    If he is paying her all this money she is Basically his employee not gmhis wife. She better do the laundry, wash them dishes and earn half of everything he fucking owns lol.

  23. Two things, you have trouble opening up, so you’re not going to get involved quickly or have as many options. Others open up quicker, thus have more options, and don’t stay single as long. So what you believe is a reflection of interest and commitment is simply a reflection of how open you vs your partner are. If you’re worried about interest or commitment that’s reflected in how you treat each other once in a relationship. And fir that, google the importance of validation in relationships, bids for attention in relationships, magic relationship ratio, and conflict resolution skills, as how well you both do that for each other is more an indication of interest and commitment that how slowly or quickly you commit in the beginning.

  24. I agree with everything you’ve said. I feel stuck staying because if I stay then he stays in therapy. If I leave what’s stopping him from continuing to hurt women unchecked? I’m not trying to justify his behavior I’m genuinely asking if you think leaving is better for /everyone/ rather than staying and making sure he stops and is held accountable for what he’s done. This is awful and honestly I want to die so I don’t have to be in this situation.

  25. I don't consider it shallow at all, its very responsible and smart. The way I read your post there are several incompatibilities, certainly the way he handles money but also more fundamental things that would bother me. You seem like a person who is happy with what you have, grateful for what you have and work really hard for what you have He seems like a person who is fundamentally unhappy about what he has, is not grateful but feels envious and entitled to more and I have no info on how hot he's worked to better his situation, but the fact that he's not getting his debt down means whatever he's doing isn't enough.

    It's in no way up to me, but I feel like you deserve a person who is like you in a more positive mindset working towards a future as to merging finances, I'm happily married for over 16 years now, but we still have separate checking and savings accounts, and in addition to that we have a joint account we both put monthly money in for the home and all the bills and such. But even if you would do that, you would possibly be legally responsible for spouses debts? and you would def be put in difficult positions like when he has no money to contribute to the joint or when he cant afford things for future children etc

  26. Shark lawyer, nail down the custody agreement watertight, share no emotions with this guy, keep it strictly business.

    He’s showing he is emotionally manipulative – and that won’t change for the sake of your child. So best to just keep it all businesslike and use that shark lawyer to best effect.

  27. Op, talk to your lawyer about this, but you leaving the house might be harmful to your case. I know you don't want to be around him, but you need to fight for everything you are entitled to

  28. This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.

    Hello, I’m 19 and live! at home with my parents. My parents have been going through a lot of shit recently and have finally worked things out. They have been spending a lot more….”alone time” with each other. We live! in a small 1 story with very thin walls. I keep getting woken up in the middle of the night by them and I don’t know what to do. I have brought it up in a casual manner to them and they said they would work on it. I keep getting woken up. Moving out is not an option right now dues to college and my part time job. I really don’t know what to do and I feel like I’m about to explode. Any advice is helpful

  29. Wow, a lot to unpack here

    Firstly, the defensive push/punch was a knee jerk reaction, literally a reflex. If you jokingly “karate chopped him on his knee and he kicked you” would you feel he assaulted you? No! So the same logic stands here, it was a reaction, not an action.

    Onto the “cause”, if he’s aware that your nipples are a sensitive, and a point of contention, then that’s up to him to remember, (and you to remind him). Me and My SO are really sexually charged, and her nipples are quite sensitive, we spend almost every moment of our time at home hard, so they’re always there…staring at me…right there…sorry…what was I saying? AH YES!

    He NEEDS to learn that they’re sensitive! He probably thinks it’s like you grabbing his shaft, but in reality it could be closer to you grabbing the tubes of his balls, and you need to drill this home into his mind, so there’s no confusion. To him they’re a turn on, for you it’s pain! Your body autonomy trumps his need for “nipple-contact”.

    This last part is really subjective, but my SO once threw a coat hanger in my general direction (aimed at the floor, bounced up and hit my leg. It impacted (through jeans) with about as much force of a pair of socks. Tbh I was more surprised that was the outlet she chose than the actual force involved (conversation leads to throwing), but this is a TOTALLY different scenario (physical pain leads to a defence reflex).

    Your reaction was justified. His bruise (if that) will heal in days, your trust in him is what he needs to work on.

    Both of you should talk about it, listen to each other, then chalk it up as a life lesson. Both of you shouldn’t make a big deal about it if you’re both willing to be understanding and listen to each other, but at the end of the day, it’s your body.

  30. If they didn't have a child, I would say do it but since they do have a child, I say leave it alone. For all you know, she told him herself and they've moved past it.

    You haven't seen her since then. Just move on with your life

  31. He’s a narcissist. He wronged you. States it wasn’t wrong. And then when you say it was wrong he says it’s your fault. Best to distance yourself from sociopaths and trust karma to get them in the end.

  32. okay everyone is demonizing the sister, but i feel the best way to approach this actually is to get her to go to therapy for her angry outbursts. what she is doing isn’t right, and she needs professional help. bring it up to her in a compassionate way, that you’re worried for her and care for her and want to see her thrive. these outbursts are often rooted to something deeper that needs to be worked through with a therapist.

  33. I didn’t judge my ex for cheating when he was 18 cause he was young and it was in the past. Then 5 years into our relationship, he cheated with my best friend! Although people can change to an extent, what someone is capable of doing even one time says a lot about them.

  34. Accept he rather watch sweaty men throw a ball around then be with his girlfriend? Relationships with enlisted men are hard enough without him throwing away what little time you have together away.

  35. I'm older than your boyfriend and I game a lot. Not 13 hours a day on average, but let's say around 8, though I've gone on way longer marathons too. Most people will say that I'm addicted and that it's not normal. I can see where they're coming from, but I disagree.

    However, I don't have a partner or kids. Gaming is just my escape from boredom, just like other hobbies before it. In fact, right now I'm here on reddit because I'm bored with gaming. If I had something better to do, I would.

    All of this is to say, it doesn't look good even to another passionate gamer. But also because I know how people would be quick to judge me, before blowing up on him, could you try and talk to him calmly first? Try to understand why he is sinking so much time into it, without being accusatory. If he's not indeed an addict, there should be a reason and you could work on it instead of ruining your relationship via constant escalation.

  36. because he’s out with his cousin. It’s totally normal. Was the girl not his cousin?

    Tracking your partners location is really fucking crazy

  37. Your fiancé sounds absolutely delusional.

    But reality is, what are YOU going to do about it

    You should have serious thought about existing this relationship. Being with him is a world full of hurt and sabotage where he does it to himself, and you. There is no redemption with this guy as he sees himself perfectly in the right and doesn’t seek help

  38. Well it sounds like your accepting that dynamic. You are the captain of your own ship. It’s ok to say your not happy and walk away, but don’t complain if you choose not to. Your not married, share No assets together, no children together. The purpose of dating is to find the person your compatible with. He doesn’t sound like the one. You can’t find the one until you move on from this unfulfilling relationship.

  39. I do see a therapist and they’re not allowed to actually give me advice, they just listen. It doesn’t help me in the slightest and just makes me re live my trauma. I’d need a psychologist and I just don’t have the money.

  40. He’s not interested anymore for whatever reasons.

    You need you end it. Crying and wishing it was better won’t change him.

    At this point, it’s about you staying when you know it’s long over.

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