I’m not saying you owe her a dumpling or anyt but what kind of piss poor communication is even happening here?
She should have used her words to ask for one if that’s what she wanted it enough to be angry about it.
You should have used your words to tell her no if that’s what you meant instead of “pretending” not to notice. Guarantee that fooled no one and this isn’t about the dumpling but about being deliberately ignored.
Please talk to each other (in clear, direct sentences) about the event. Acknowledge you were both probably tired and a little hungry and feeling peevish.
Spoke to her today. She said she just needed time to herself to work through her own head. But she said it ain't over. You're right that it's lonely, it's been lonely for me too, but I'm committed.
We've discussed the possibility of kids in the past, she says she'd like to be a mother but pregnancy scares her. She'd be a great mother if she does decide to do that, but I would never pressure her.
Neither of us have much money, so financial stability could indeed be an issue but I've been trying to save up for awhile, I'll be able to visit in May 2023. I haven't done my due diligence in terms of researching immigration, but I figured I would need to know more about it when I can actually do it. This flight will be our first time meaning. I had money to boo her a flight here in March 2020 but covid was running rampant at the time and that lockdown shit went on forever. When the shit finally lifted, I ended up having to put that money toward some other shit.
She also told me she would be too anxious to fly to America alone, she has a mother who's physically disabled and a deadbeat brother who does absolutely nothing to help her. She basically has to carry that entire household on her back. Weight's heavy on her shoulders, I'm very proud of her for how she's managed. Told her I'd be willing to bring em all over here. She was also rightfully afraid of guns and getting shot. I own a couple myself and that made her uncomfortable.
But yeah, she reassured me today that we're okay and that she just needed some time to work through this on her own. I'm gonna give her that space and try not to worry so much.
My take is the lack of tact in your response hurt him the way his words hurt you. While he did not mean it, he hurt you as well. He owes you an apology. BTW, saying he was the smartest guy in the room is arrogant. A better choice of words, “I did not find the courses challenging enough, so I transfered to…”
it is so crazy that a lot of y'all are just assuming that she's doing it just to spite him, or because she has second doubts. Sometimes we get caught up in the moment and say stupid things that we didn't take time to think about. That doesn't mean it's got deeper meaning. Yeah he wasn't that, “1st” choice, but he was the end choice. She liked mark on a superficial level. Probably only sexual attraction. But she likes OP on a fundamentally deeper and more emotional level. She sounds like she really loves this guy. So many of y'all are telling him that he's probably cheating and that he should look into it, and you're only filling his head with anxiety. shame On all y'all saying she's definitely cheating or that she definitely doesn't love him. Shame shame shame.
Yea I would say she just needs to get out and thrive a bit. It’s unhealthy for of them if this is the case then. If she actually did get out she would realize just how much of her own life she still has to live. These are honestly the best solutions I can think of, does she have friends she does dinners with or some boyfriends?? It’s much better for
Unfortunately, the story of an age gap relationship where the older one has the emotional intelligence of a pot plant is not uncommon. You can't build a life with someone who runs away when asked to have a grown up conversation. Particularly one about repeated behaviour. You don't say what the issue is exactly, but I am going to take a wild stab in the dark and suggest you have to be the adult about money in the relationship, he gets to be the impulsive spendy child. There is a reason why he has failed to bond with anyone his own age. He needs to face the music of “this isn't working, I'm moving on”.
Exactly. Don’t set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.
That’s what I meant by foul play meaning her mom is controlling your relationship which sucks.
ESH
I’m not saying you owe her a dumpling or anyt but what kind of piss poor communication is even happening here?
She should have used her words to ask for one if that’s what she wanted it enough to be angry about it.
You should have used your words to tell her no if that’s what you meant instead of “pretending” not to notice. Guarantee that fooled no one and this isn’t about the dumpling but about being deliberately ignored.
Please talk to each other (in clear, direct sentences) about the event. Acknowledge you were both probably tired and a little hungry and feeling peevish.
Spoke to her today. She said she just needed time to herself to work through her own head. But she said it ain't over. You're right that it's lonely, it's been lonely for me too, but I'm committed.
We've discussed the possibility of kids in the past, she says she'd like to be a mother but pregnancy scares her. She'd be a great mother if she does decide to do that, but I would never pressure her.
Neither of us have much money, so financial stability could indeed be an issue but I've been trying to save up for awhile, I'll be able to visit in May 2023. I haven't done my due diligence in terms of researching immigration, but I figured I would need to know more about it when I can actually do it. This flight will be our first time meaning. I had money to boo her a flight here in March 2020 but covid was running rampant at the time and that lockdown shit went on forever. When the shit finally lifted, I ended up having to put that money toward some other shit.
She also told me she would be too anxious to fly to America alone, she has a mother who's physically disabled and a deadbeat brother who does absolutely nothing to help her. She basically has to carry that entire household on her back. Weight's heavy on her shoulders, I'm very proud of her for how she's managed. Told her I'd be willing to bring em all over here. She was also rightfully afraid of guns and getting shot. I own a couple myself and that made her uncomfortable.
But yeah, she reassured me today that we're okay and that she just needed some time to work through this on her own. I'm gonna give her that space and try not to worry so much.
My take is the lack of tact in your response hurt him the way his words hurt you. While he did not mean it, he hurt you as well. He owes you an apology. BTW, saying he was the smartest guy in the room is arrogant. A better choice of words, “I did not find the courses challenging enough, so I transfered to…”
She would be dead to me as well.
If you're hanging with him..and his friends, announce the public title then and there and then never speak to him again
He needs a residential address , no po or office addresses works .
*43M
Sounds like he just moved on. And you will too, in time.
Blocking is twofold, he doesn't have to see your posts and you his.
It probably feels harsh because it was so soon. His post could be his way of getting over.
I hope the best for you.
it is so crazy that a lot of y'all are just assuming that she's doing it just to spite him, or because she has second doubts. Sometimes we get caught up in the moment and say stupid things that we didn't take time to think about. That doesn't mean it's got deeper meaning. Yeah he wasn't that, “1st” choice, but he was the end choice. She liked mark on a superficial level. Probably only sexual attraction. But she likes OP on a fundamentally deeper and more emotional level. She sounds like she really loves this guy. So many of y'all are telling him that he's probably cheating and that he should look into it, and you're only filling his head with anxiety. shame On all y'all saying she's definitely cheating or that she definitely doesn't love him. Shame shame shame.
Yea I would say she just needs to get out and thrive a bit. It’s unhealthy for of them if this is the case then. If she actually did get out she would realize just how much of her own life she still has to live. These are honestly the best solutions I can think of, does she have friends she does dinners with or some boyfriends?? It’s much better for
Unfortunately, the story of an age gap relationship where the older one has the emotional intelligence of a pot plant is not uncommon. You can't build a life with someone who runs away when asked to have a grown up conversation. Particularly one about repeated behaviour. You don't say what the issue is exactly, but I am going to take a wild stab in the dark and suggest you have to be the adult about money in the relationship, he gets to be the impulsive spendy child. There is a reason why he has failed to bond with anyone his own age. He needs to face the music of “this isn't working, I'm moving on”.
Thank you for your response.
I love this.