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Yonhee Bae, 20 y.o.
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Date: January 1, 2023
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My husband does this to me nearly every day. He has ADHD. He easily loses his thoughts, so he jumps in while they're active in his mind. That often means he isn't listening very carefully because he's thinking about what he wants to say next. That's how he's explained it to me, anyway.
I've tried just about everything from calling him out in the moment to going quiet to talking over him (a real battle of wills). We've had dozens of talks about it where I expressed how frustrating it is. He hasn't stopped.
The only strategy that's had any success is warning him ahead of time that I don't want to be interrupted. That means right before I say anything. “I'd like to talk to you about weekend plans. I'd appreciate if you not interrupt. I'll let you know when I'm finished my thoughts.” That not only focuses him on the topic, but reminds him that he needs to restrain himself.
It also helps to have these talks when he's most alert. He's more likely to interrupt at night when he's tired.
So, to sum up, my advice is you state your need and your intentions upfront.
and not only does she refuse, but she gets agitated and pushes that on him.
considering that her husband (and a good majority of the comments here) is acting like she is losing the plot, i can understand that perfectly well. notice he des not say that he struggles to understand her – he says she does not make sense and pushes his lack of understanding as solely her fault. that is absolutely agitating when you are not saying anything niche or out there.
I dated a guy exactly like this. Trust me, it’ll get worse
A woman has needs.
Why can't you get a place for just the two of you?