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  1. I’m going to nursing school so he can be a stay home dad one day.

    Bad idea. Both parties should expect the other to contribute, in my opinion.

    I saw him try to message other girls. And he got ignored. I’m.. embarrassed for him. A bit heartbroken.

    He felt secure in eventually being provided for through you and tried his luck at having his cake and eating it too.

    That, and he's simply an adulterer. Many people are, unfortunately.

    I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. The simple answer Is to leave but damn.

    You didn't do anything wrong, but the answer is, as you said, a simple one.

  2. No assumptions. Read her post again..he was on a project in her city. He bought her a plane ticket and flew her to his hometown and asked her if she could see herself living there.

  3. That is very incorrect and there are plenty of reasons people want to get married. Just because it isn’t for you doesn’t mean every one else who does it is incorrect.

    Just for a start, things you can get through marriage you can’t with a relationship: Health insurance, better car insurance rates, better taxes, the ability to make medical decisions when the other is incapable… I mean the list could go on and on. I don’t judge other who don’t want to get married, you shouldn’t talk down on those that do.

  4. Nothing to feel guilty about, you can't on-line for other people and put your life on hold, with nothing to show for it in the end…

    You have to have self-worth and get yourself established in life, everything else is secondary…

  5. Exactly this. People being miserable here because of their shitty partners who they love so much that they’re slowly dying inside and then come to this sub to find some kind of magic spell which will turn them into amazing partners they wish for. Those don’t exist.

    Let’s be primitive. Write a simple pros and cons list, but I dare you not to write one pro side on sixty different ways so you get an illusion of healthy love. People are wired to do that, but if you are aware of it, you should be able to rationalize what’s your next move.

    And if you love him so damn much, then deal with it. I don’t mean to be rude, but that’s the sum of it.

  6. I think he knows that. He simply doesn't want children. Not now, not ever, and he's agraif to tell you, so he's trying to postpone with very thin excuses. You have to make a decision now.

  7. No. It’s purely security and can only be handles by security. No amount of communication or negotiation with him, will fix it.

    Your knowledge of the person doesn’t change the events happening.

  8. You don’t give someone the benefit of the doubt a month after cheating. That is something they earn after months of proving they have been trustworthy.

  9. u/TerribleGuava4316, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.

    The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.

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  10. I think people are being too harsh on you, OP. It sounds like you have been incredibly generous to him financially and didn’t expect him to spend even remotely the same amount on gifts, you just wanted one thing. And if it was cost that kept him from doing it, your question of “why didn’t you get it?” would have opened up that discussion.

    You buried the lede a little by saying he didn’t buy it because he canceled the order after an argument with you. That seems like an intense reaction to a fight unless it was a HUGE break up inducing fight. And the pop figure seems like it was given to you because he didn’t have time to get a new cricut. (Although I’m confused how he can go out and get one now but had to order on-line before Christmas?)

    You may want to evaluate if things are normal in your relationship. Does he overreact to fights? Do you fight often? Was that fight particularly serious? Was it a fight over bigger issues in your relationship? Are you subconsciously feeling like you pay for too much and he isn’t grateful for it?

    Based on the info in this post, I wouldn’t feel too guilty, he clearly feels bad for his irrational cancelation or he wouldn’t be out buying one. But if you feel that this has made the total gift more expensive, you could offer to pay for some of it or even ask if he’s sure about gifting the funko. Def show gratitude he got it now to help make things less awkward.

  11. Hello /u/toe_boat,

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  12. Depends I guess on what his core beliefs are. If you have some disagreements but ultimately agree on the fundamental things then go for it. If not, it won't work out. The debates are fun for now, until they stop being thought experiments and become real life.

    I could never date someone who thinks debating about my basic human rights is a fun exercise, for example. Because for me it's not an exercise, it's my life. Not having easy access to contraceptives, abortions, having no protection from workplace harassment or discrimination for example will affect me. I can't tolerate this being a simple thought experiment to the person I'm dating, because this is someone I want to feel safe with.

    I want to complain and be comforted because a creepy man did something to me at work. I don't want a lecture about what I was wearing or that I'm being too sensitive.

    If the anti-discrimination bill gets passed I'd want to celebrate with the people I love, and if my partner is anti-LGBTQ+ I can't do that.

    If my partner voted for a president who is pro killing their political opposition, I would never forgive them.

    If by some freak accident I get pregnant, I will want to terminate. And I would want my partner's support because I've heard it's very uncomfortable to do it alone. If my partner tried to get in my way in any way shape or form, it's over.

    It's probably ideal to sit down and ask each other about these hypotheticals. Ask yourself what you would want in these scenarios. Ask him about what he'd do. Press for details, ask for the how's and why's. See if his beliefs line up with your needs and your beliefs with his needs.

  13. Yep that’s on the agenda friend! Wasn’t planning on taking medical advice from redditors haha. Just wanted to see if anyone out there who is also in an relationship where one party has HSV-2 could give me some pointers & kind words!

  14. That would’ve been healthier and I’m not saying he handled it well. I’m only defending him asking for a paternity test.

  15. Infertile does not mean sterile, especially as you’re getting older.

    Remember those sex Ed classes that said to always put a nodder on before putting it in? That was for a reason. Even ‘just the tip’ could put a swimmer in the water

  16. He's not wrong though. When someone from your group jumps in, it drags you in. It does mean he would have to defend her in that case.

    If she got attacked he wouldn't run off. He'd need to defend his friend.

    So yeah he's right that her jumping in did drag him in.

  17. Hello /u/Tuky_alienae,

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  18. Again, that’s fair and I’m sure it’s common, but to assuming somebody’s being lovebombed just because they’re treated well and there’s and age gap just isn’t fair. We know nothing about them or their relationship. They could be dating a long time now. He could just be acting like a gentleman and getting her flowers. We really have no clue

  19. I don't think 3 texts in 3 days is “texting too many times”. Maybe he's just busy with life at the moment ?

    But if the texting is really what bothered him I wouldn't lose too much time with him, in all honesty…

  20. Whether it’s official yet or not, it definitely sounds like the end. The fat lady might not be singing, but she’s clearing her throat.

  21. To each their own.

    I had someone do this for me one time and I highly respected them for it. I appreciated their honesty and fixed the things they mentioned.

    If you are already breaking up with someone:

    Because each thing you say gives them another thing they can argue with you about and try to change your mind, or to say they can change, or to call you shallow, etc etc.

    Then don't be easy to influenced. You already made up your mind on the break up…

  22. I guess he was prescribed way back in high school with some behavioral citations. He told me he’s never seen a psychiatrist. He goes to the same pcp I go to and she draws his blood once a month for it, that’s about it

  23. He isn’t missing, he moved.

    You fucked around and found out ?‍♀️ good for him, I would have done the exact same thing he did.

  24. Yup. That also meant she had someone specific in mind. Who would ask for something so obviously fraught purely on spec?

    The idea that there wasn’t anyone and she just wanted to try it out with some rando is if anything more horrifying.

  25. This sounds like an unwise way to go. Too confusing. When a couple breaks up, they need distance, not a shared home and dog.

    One of you should move out – get a sublettor for the duration. You and your ex can keep in loose touch with an occasional text but no monitoring who sleeps where. That's not healthy.

  26. Are you sure, she won't move in if she is older or as soon as you have children? Especially the “she is single and lonely”- card plus he being a mommy-boy makes this really likely.

  27. If you know these things about yourself and therapy and medication aren't working, what do you really think Reddit can tell you? There isn't a magic button you can press that makes you less exhausting to be around. You clearly cannot stop being this way even with medication and therapy, so maybe just be honest with yourself about who you are and where you're at in life and let him go be with someone who isn't going to rip his head off every time he blinks the wrong way?

    Like, why are you here asking a social media app how to fix your brain instead of talking to the therapist you pay who went to school to learn how to help people fix their brains? What insights as to why you can't moderate your emotions like an adult do you think fat_penguin_ass or bud_42069 have for you that someone trained to help people overcome their own shittiness doesn't?

  28. Yes, I know it’s only been 4 months… still it’s nude but I will do what’s right and leave this all behind me

  29. She's been holding this for six years.

    …are you sure there's nothing else she is still holding?

    I would find it very hot to move past this.

  30. Take a class together. Origami, how to decorate a cake, make a clay ashtray, whatever. Explore a new place/ new food. Go to the thrift store & try to find a present for the other person (or an outfit). Try a new sexual kink you’ve wondered about.

  31. Here’s the thing though, what if he came to you and said he changed his mind? That’s the fear of the new love interest. Would the rejected person have FOMO and just have to find out?

  32. Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry that happened to you. It's really awful that you saw it coming and your ex wasn't able to accept his feelings and be honest with you.

    I already broke up with him, but wanted a few different perspectives, so thank you for sharing!

  33. He wants to justify 1. what he did during your temporary breakups or, most likely, 2. what he's continuing to do. Which is there's someone Melvin has been hooking up with. In his ?? (penis owner's brain), he thinks you're giving it up. A third angle is that he wants you to be sexual active so he won't be guilty of cheating. Fourthly, he is insecure, and should you ever hint or confess, he'll either be extremely turned on or go off in a jealous rage.

    Stick to your guns. If he can't handle your sexuality, it's his loss.

  34. This doesn’t sound great. Have you told him you would like to meet them? How it makes you feel that you haven’t? I would ask him if there was anything holding him back from wanting to introduce you to them. If he doesn’t have a reasonable answer to that question i would start feeling like he’s hiding something.

  35. He does not keep me, doesn't give me costly presents or pays me pocket money. Doesn't even pay my wage. I'm financially independet.

  36. That was exactly my point–once people have decided someone is a victim of something, they're not going to believe protests that they aren't.

    If this is a true story (it sounds extreme that he would get that much shit when couples with actual age gaps exist everywhere and I'm beginning to have my doubts), then yes, she really needs to take him seriously and they need to work together to come up with a consistent response.

    It's just all very weird–like, how fucking old can a 26-yo man possibly look??? To the point where their 5-yo is picking up on it and crying? WTF? What kind of town did they move to? It's all very weird.

  37. Did she specifically tell you his size is why she orgasmed so much, or did you just make that part up?

  38. Agreed, I've been there too (of course it's more common for men, as we're usually the ones expected to make that first move), sometimes by women I was 100% positive were interested in me. Sometimes you just mis-read the signals, it happens.

  39. I am not going to copy paste like you did???? you copy pasted it and I told you exactly what that means only you have romantic goggles on it to make the woman seem good and that she tried!!! The little play is not effort!!! And he didn't say that she jerked him off only that she played with him a little!!!!

  40. Go to Surviving Infidelity.com. It helped me with a cheating wife. He is blame shifting, and gas lighting.he cheated. He refused to take responsibility for his actions

  41. “I miss my old girlfriend who did so much for me.”

    How can someone seriously say this shit and not burst into flames out of sheer shame is a mystery to me. It must be nice to be so unburdened with any sort of ability to self-reflect.

  42. True ….although disclaimer , he’s the one who insists I keep the car on my days off even though I think it’s uneconomical – because he doesn’t feel safe with me using public transport. I guess the next best thing would be me to figure out my car situation soon so that there’s no issue to begin with

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