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Model from: de
Languages: de,en
Birth Date: 2000-09-03
Body Type: bodyTypeAverage
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color: hairColorRed
Eyes color: eyeColorGreen
Subculture: subcultureStudent
Date: October 11, 2022
And you’re right about the LDR.. if she has some type of personality disorder, it would be difficult for me to catch.
Save your breath. OP is an attention seeker who posts and never replies – zero comments and counting.
His last post was about how he was going to kill himself no matter what.
This is a situation that you have both allowed to happen. She is acting as a perpetual teenager wtihout responsibility or independence, and you have enabled it. You have named a lot of things that are BIG issues in a relationship, so I'm not sure what you mean by “little issue outside of this”. Perhaps you might mean that you don't fight and you are both polite to each other. But that is hardly a relationship! In a relationship, regardless of who “makes the big bucks”, you should both feel that you are equals in the relationship. It is a relationship killer when one person is doing all the heavy lifting in the relationship and the other just coasts.
You have mentioned that:
She is not taking the initiative to get a job or get on track toward a career She does not take the initiative to do any chores (and even though you hear more about the ones that don't, there are tons of kids who do this without being nagged constantly) She does not contribute financially, in fact, you support her 100% She is not providing you any emotional support, which sounds like you would need when you are working 2 full-time jobs and caring for a sick father! You no longer have sexual relationship
Turning yourself into a doormat pleases noone, least of all yourself. Honestly, if I had a nickel for every post I've read where it turns out that the leech partner has been cheating in one way or another out of boredom…. Anyway, I'm not saying that is what is going on here. But I am sorry to say that you do not have a healthy relationship.
If you are holding back your real feelings and problems from her, you are creating distance in your relationship – you're not growing together. You are just two people sharing space and being superficially nice to one another. And you are the one who is treating her as a child who can't handle these “adult” situations – reinforcing your parent/child dynamic.
She isn't a child though. You don't improve the relationship by holding back the truth. You can say things kindly but you also need to express your own needs. You have held back from having your own financial, emotional, and sexual needs (not to mention, you must be exhausted) met for so long it's not surprising if all that ends up being left is resentment. You're resenting her because she is acting like a child, but she also could come to resent you for holding it over her and being cranky and withdrawn all the time. You need a partner to STEP UP. Honestly, dogs are less work and provide more.
Let's put it this way though, the longer you allow this to go on, the harder it is for her to start getting back into the work world and living life as an adult.
Start talking to her. Have real conversations instead of over-editing your thoughts. Ask her if she is happy with how things are now. What goals does she have for herself this year? When does she see herself being fully employed because you are almost at your breaking point. And honestly, what does she do every day all day if she isn't employed? How does she spend her time? And the big one, does she think she is depressed? If so, can you two work on a plan to actively address that? Final note: your weight gain may also be related directly to the stress you are under. Good luck!
He clearly had a father figure growing up, and guess what? It’s a shitty father figure. If OP wants to stand by him that’s his right, but it’s also his mother’s right to be done.
Ugh thank you. I feel so lost
If a woman told me that I would suggest she leave. OP hasn't left but with the whole “she wants to but he (for the reason stated and I suspect a few more) doesn't” it could still come to that. I have a feeling we actually agree, but I expressed myself so poorly in my comment I've flipped my whole premise. Sorry if I've irritated you.
Yeah I would 100% not want someone with that attitude in leadership.
Reverse the genders and you have your answer my guy.