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double penetration // NEW VIDS THIS WEEK/ [GOAL MET]
Date: October 12, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
double penetration // NEW VIDS THIS WEEK/ [GOAL MET]
He's not your best friend. You guys just got out of a relationship so it feels that way. You guys will not be able to actually be friends for a long time. It's not possible to get over an ex while being “best friends” right after a relationship. You guys are just having a hard time letting go. Get in or get out. With his manipulative tactics, I say get out.
I would think so, against the ex boss, your wife and the company. Get a lawyer.
Thank you ? and good luck in your journey my mother had breast cancer three times and is to this day a survivor ?
Lots of women are not ok with their partner watching porn and there's nothing wrong with that. You need to be upfront with your expectations and be clear that you consider porn to be cheating.
Sleep on the couch, bruh.
This has nothing to do with politics and everything to do with grooming.
I mean, I'm also a SAHM married to a good guy but 20 years ago was in a terrible relationship with a man who actively isolated me from other people and financially abused me even though I was the one making the money.
I can absolutely see why someone who isn't actively, right now making the choice to be a SAHM would think it's bananas to trust someone enough to be willing to be financially dependent. It's a state of vulnerability and trust that you have to give ahead of time before you see how your partner will behave.
How many times have we heard about men who talk about their wives spending “their” money? How many times have we seen them complain that the house isn't spotless or dinner isn't ready or that after kids they aren't getting enough sex or attention? The default state is already that women are responsible for a large portion of mental, emotional and physical labor in a household. Even in households where the labor is split evenly while both partners are working full time, it is basically a trust fall off a cliff that your husband will continue to equitably split household duties if you're the one home all day.
Again, I'm a SAHM. I have no past “career” to fall back on. I am loved and valued and I love and value my husband in return. But am completely financially vulnerable to him and I get why other people would fine that insane.
Yes tell her.
And it shouldn’t be! that’s normal
Get a lawyer
She is trying to say you damaged the house. She will want to sell it then deduct the repairs from your portion. You should have gotten a legal agreement before buying the house about what happens if you part. You didn’t and it’s about to get ugly. There is no resolving this between the two of you. Cold will be the least of your problems. So get a lawyer now and let them deal with her. This will only get worse.
I'm also 27 and the thought of dating someone who is only 20 is just…not a pleasant one. You're at different stages in your life just in those 7 years. I'm sure nowhere near the same person at 27 as I was at 20.
Other people have said it, but it feels like he's trying to lock you down. Again, as a 27 year old, dating someone barely out of their teens is just very off-putting. 20 year olds feel like kids to me.
Hell, even if the age gap didn't exist the fact that he seems to be pressuring for marriage so soon is in and of itself a huge red flag. That isn't the thought process of a responsible and sound minded man. That's the thought process of a man who wants to isolate you from the outside world.
Okay but why did he roast you like that?
100% agree with this.
You don’t. Cheaters are going to cheat, and he’s a serial cheater.
You’re right, he does need to figure this out without my support. &Wow I never thought about it like that but to be honest, he most likely wouldn’t. He would be too devastated to even talk to me let alone carry on a relationship with me.
You don’t know anything unless you ask.
You think someone with bad enough morals to hide and do this behind your back will just come right out and admit it?
You want all of this to be a bad dream but if they won’t admit it, how do you find out?
My impression of your views on all this makes me think you are a teenage girl who has no idea how real long term relationships work.
Can it be an emotional affair if he doesn't have any romantic feelings for me? I agree this is definitely my fault, I'm the one who got drunk knowing I probably shouldn't have. I've never come onto him or acted on my feelings for him and I've made it clear to him that I never expected anything like that from him. That my feelings were my own mess to deal with. I can't break off my friendship with him completely, he is my bestfriend and he doesn't trust a lot of people to talk to, I don't want to leave him without any support. I thought it didn't matter since our feelings are so one-sided and we were just talking and supporting each other as friends. Now I'm not so sure.
I don't understand why this is such a big issue. Are you jealous? Worried she'll cheat on you?
Both me and my partner have slept with friends that we are still in close, frequent contact with. My partner slept with my best friend before we started dating. My best female friend and I slept together years ago before my partner and I got together. I am still very much best friends with both of them, as is my partner. We go out together and individually all the time.
My female friend has also slept with a lot of her friendship circle, and is now married to one of the men from the group – and they are all still friends in the same circle. It's really not uncommon for this to happen in friend groups that mingle both sexes, especially over long periods of time.
Either you trust your partner or you don't. If she has the capacity to cheat on you, she'd be able to do so with anyone. From what you've described she has offered open communication about the issue and has been honest with you. Has your partner given you any reason to doubt her at all?
Idk… sounds like she is enjoying the attention to me.
Soon he has a family and is gonna be a dream father
Oh honey. What makes you believe this??
He cheated on you. He left you and pursued a future with someone else. This is no one's dream.
You can do much better. Feel your feelings but then let them go. This is not your person. You are only 26, you have forever to find your person.
Jesus… that's one of the most selfish acts I've ever heard. How dare he get you a gift just so that you can wait on him? Fuck… that would send me over the edge and take out enjoyment in the process…
Don't let him take away the curiosity and joy in learning how to sew . Tell him what he did was selfish and put a lot of pressure on you for something you're just starting. What he did wasn't right or fair and has left a bad taste in your mouth regarding learning how to sew.
I'm so sorry to hear about your nephew's story. I hope he's growing up with lots of love received from you and rest of the family. It breaks my heart when I hear someone has abandoned their child… I get flashbacks of witnessing my dad's suffering. The only positive that came out of the whole situation was that my dad grew up to be an absolute overachiever, but unfortunately fueled by hate, resentment, and deeply rooted anger.
You have been with him and his temper since you are 15 years old
Cheating is not cool at all but neither is his temper and belittling you cool at all
I would accept your part of the blame in this and own it but that doesn’t mean you deserve to be treated so badly
Hoping you can break up and move on
So you are dealing with your lack of integrity by showing an even greater lack of integrity. Cool.
From an outsider perspective:
Marriage is for children and strengthening existing family connections.
Dating is for romance, sex and love
Yall dick shaming ur boyfriends on reddit now?? ??
That wasn’t the point of this post.
Sugar baby…wow …nah this bitch was a leach. Anyone behaving like this is a filthy leach and should be kicked to the curb. What a freeloader. Her parents didn’t teach her proper conduct.
You can be totally correct about sexism in media while you’re both watching Iron Man 2 and also be annoying at the same time.
The problem is that technically nothing dialed down. They meet at work and they meet for lunch at work and now they’re going to meet to party…
Do these friends know the affair happened?
I’ve been with my partner for 2 years sometimes I just SOB after nothings wrong with me sometimes I’m overwhelmed with the build up on emotions I would talk to her but it’s at least common for me
Me and my bf pee on each other in the shower ??♀️
I agreed with you previously, but I have to agree again. I cannot believe how many people are saying “but” to literal abuse. It doesn’t matter how angry someone is, they should not resort to abusive actions or words.
I'm just wondering why you think it is your business? Everyone can make terrible decisions all on their own.
There isn't anything you can do you haven't already done. She chose to not believe you and it's not a first time she does it. Only she can fix her issues but first she needs to want to fix them. Relationship without trust is pointless. She will do it again and again because she doesn't trust you. You should talk with her about going to therapy, but you on your own should think about the future of your relationship. If nothing changes, do you want to be with someone who doesn't trust you? Who finds things to accuse you of and doesn't take your explanations? How long will you be able to be with her before resentment will destroy everything?
If you counted in front of her she's probably already making an exit plan
Man I wish I had gotten the preview of future behavior that you did. Would have saved me some trouble.
Let’s hit the gym, send her to those streets.
Life is too short
That is valid.
There is a difference between talking about your sex lives, and being open to sexual conversations, and explicitly buying something to enhance someone else's sex life/to help them with sexually pleasuring themselves now that they're single.
Yep ..the hard younger friend that he's now thinking about pleasuring herself…sorry I'd be out
Yeyyyy you are going to have the best Christmas with your husband and children. !!!! You gonna start a new morning routine You gonna start the Christmas YOURS and HUBBY way. New traditions. New games new ideas Everything.
I would set up Plan now with husband. Night before he preps all veg and cleans kitchen for example In the Morning he does XYZ for your family meal. Evening he cleans XYZ like give him specific jobs list to be done at certain times so you are not overwhelmed and the labour is shared.
My mother gave us best Christmas but she missed it being so busy all day my father was a lazy ass
Do not this happen. Write a list of jobs and times to be done put them on fridge door he can tick off as he does them. Stare the labours.
Orrrrrr start booking a nice restaurant for your Christmas meal. Because that’s what I’m gonna do when my mother decides she not cooking Christmas anymore all my brothers and get assume I will take it over … we’ll that way to much work for me I book a restaurant
This is a difficult situation… I agree that she needs help but that her bad habits shouldn’t be enabled. You could buy her gift card to a grocery store in the area so that you know money is being spent on a necessity like food or hygiene products. This could also work with a gift card to InstaCart if your area has it.
I think it also doesn’t hurt to help her with resources like homeless shelters. However, if she struggles with sobriety or mental health that might not be the best place for her. Honestly, if you’re boyfriend could swing it, it would be good to pay for a basic studio apartment for her so she has somewhere to shower, cook, and sleep. It makes sense to help her because she is the mother of his child… just don’t give her any cash. Pay for survival necessities directly through his account so that you know she is able to have the basics to stay on her feet. But don’t let her be a “middle man” by sending her money with the expectation it’s going to be spent on any of her necessities. If she needs money for a doctor, go with her and pay there. Never give her cash or cart Blanche money on a card.
Someone earlier mentioned setting up a card for her so that you can track the expenses. I think that is step two after the above has happened. That’s a short term privilege to be earned as she transitions to supporting herself again. Also, your boyfriend should take her to court to amend their custody agreement. I’m worried that she will say he hasn’t been paying her child support in an effort to extort more money from him. You need documentation that the child is living with you full time. I’m NAL but you should probably also investigate getting a temporary removal of her parental rights. She’s clearly not well (mentally or physically), and cannot take care of a child. Although she is reasonable now, she may try to take the child to extort more money.
In addition to helping her with basic welfare needs, it might be good to help with some sort of “education” so that she’s not stuck in this same cycle again and again. I don’t know what the best route for that would be since I don’t know much about her situation. Therapy? Financial literacy classes? Job specific training that could help her move towards a career so she can have pride in her work and maybe want to work to keep a job? I know this seems overboard and would honestly suck to pay for, but your boyfriend should think of it as part of an investment into his child’s future. She may be beyond help, but you can at least say that you tried to put her on a structured path towards a healthy lifestyle. Tell her that you want to help her and outline the plan. Hopefully she can see this as a fresh start.
Did you two directly immigrate? Or did your families immigrate?
No. I was talking about what she said…never mentioned myself… I get that you're trying to catch me in some gotcha moment but youre literally using the most easily explainable examples LMAO
He sounds like a flake. At any rate, he doesn’t get to use your abortion as some sort of cudgel to continually punish and shame you with. Who is he to judge you? It’s time for you to stand up for yourself. Tell him he either accepts you and permanently drops the subject of your abortion or you’re done.
Sounds like there's someone else. 3hrs to drop something off at the post office? ma'am..
If you did this, do you think he'd be so understanding? Doubtful. There's a reason he's entertaining you, you're young and he knows someone older wouldn't go for this.
You keep mentioning you're going to talk to him.. about what exactly?
Very valid point. Thank you for pointing that out. How did you navigate it with your husband. Any advice?
What else is new?
We all know that temporary breaks are the prelude of total breakups.
“I’ve told him I don’t like when he picks on what I wear” So yes she told him she doesn’t want him to make those comments yet he continues. Definitely time to drop him.
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You don’t deserve him giving a shit after the lies.
He went soft because he wasn't into me? We have been having sex for four months. If he wasn't into me then he wouldn't have been having sex with me for that long.
Aren’t you making the assumption that he’s embarrassed about it?
Don't tell your family they aren't coming. Tell them you broke up. It's not his friends that are changing his behavior. He is just a bad person.
I didn't say you were in a relationship. I said you had a “situationship”. You two were talking and possibly going to end up being official at some point. You might not be wrong to flirt with the guy but it is wrong for you to flirt with them, send pictures of you and the guy to this guy you were in a talking stage with and then have the audacity to get upset when he doesn't want to talk to you anymore.
What do you think a talking stage leads up to? More talking? Because usually it leads up to an actual relationship. He isn't the toxic one here, he blew up probably because he thought the same thing – that you were headed towards a relationship.
And then all of a sudden the girl he's talking to sends him pictures of her with another guy, tells him this other guy is better than him, and tells him that all he is is someone she talks to when she's bored and he doesn't matter to her at all. He responded accordingly by blocking you because you're toxic.
I'm surprised he even unblocked you.
Maybe when he's living with 2 siblings and 2 in-laws, it will get old. That's the only foreseeable compromise that I can see.
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This is interesting…
Although most posters (including me) think that OP should end the relationship, many citing that with the bf's mental health history (military-related PSTD) that he might be dangerous.
If he might be dangerous, how are we advising OP to initiate the breakup? In person (is that safe with a possibly dangerous person)? Via live video? Pre-recorded message? Text? Voice phone? Privately? In a public place? Alone? With others (friends, family) present nearby? Leaving with packed bags while he's at work or at night when he's asleep?
I'm honestly not quibbling, and only OP can truly have an idea on how her bf would react to a breakup, but it seems a bit contradictory to say the bf is dangerous, but the OP should go ahead and break up with him if it's done in person.
OR maybe I'm not quite reading the room accurately.
Dump him. Take the trash out
What do you get out of this relationship? He sounds like a narcissist.
It's worth mentioning I'm in the national guard and I know she stayed faithful while I was in training. Even wrote to me almost everyday. I wouldn't say she was bragging and more of, just letting me know
Are you satisfied with your current sex life with your GF?
People like what they like.
You don't have to justify your preferences to anybody.
You treated her like a queen for a week but obviously neglected your gf in favor of her.
Let your gf go and be with someone who doesn’t want to cheat on her, emotionally or physically. Both is bad. You are doing the emotional cheating, if it wasn’t clear already.
You treated her like a queen for a week but obviously neglected your gf in favor of her.
Let your gf go and be with someone who doesn’t want to cheat on her, emotionally or physically. Both is bad. You are doing the emotional cheating, if it wasn’t clear already.
he does. he said that it’s his child and he needs to be a part of their life. she (the ex) didn’t expect child support, she just wanted to let him know cause she was feeling guilty.
yes. I am currently 27 weeks pregnant. It’s been hard.
You can buy a place and rent it out if you’re just interested in the investment aspect
Thank you for the help 🙂
Don't have kids, he'll do nothing and you'll have an even bigger work load, this guy is such a child himself
I swear so many of the stories on here involves a baby or marriage before 20.
Take things slow. If you two really like each other, it will happen. But give him the room he needs.
My gf also said something like this on the first date. So we kept it friendly (going out for a drink, having dinner, board games, arcade). And when you are a few months in, ask them how they feel about you now.
If there's one thing I'd change about my 20s, it would be just accepting I'm not compatible with the sort of person who feels free to have sex with other people until I file the HR6.9 form specifically asking them not to, rather than trying to find “communicative” ways to solve this problem with people who are strategically making themselves as difficult as possible to communicate with like they're the goddamn unseelie court. Not only did it not actually deter anyone who was determined to find ways to continue sleeping with other people (they just started loophole-mining the definition of “having sex with other people” or outright ignored the agreement), but it caused quite a lot of confusion with me asking to be sexually exclusive and them interpreting it as “he wants to be officially bf/gf now”.
Even if you accept that it was somehow unclear from the context clues of going to all major occasions together and staying round each other's houses that you were at least close enough to a couple that sleeping with other people was on shaky ground (which, to be clear, I don't think you should), relying on “I just said I wasn't *currently* having sex with other people at that exact moment, not that I would continue to not do so” is downright scummy.
I have to be honest here but i have three sphynx cats who are my absolute life. If i was sleeping with someone who was leaving pills lying about repeatedly and didn't give two fucks about it I wouldn't be with them. In the same way as if i didn't trust someone i was dating to keep windows and doors shut etc then i wouldn't have them at my house.
Her behaviour is weird af. Even if the food bowls weren't right by the pill drawer the cats could still see them and eat them. As a one off mistake then yeah that's careless and id be pissed but repeatedly? That's fucking insane behaviour.
I'd say see it through for now just for your own sake so you can know you were the bigger person all along. And as soon as you know he's healthy, tell him you know and that she can help him recover because you won't be there. I will say for certain if you live together and are going to leave him, get the living situation sorted out before he leaves the hospital. If he dies, that's going to be a much more complicated situation.
Apparently, depression in men can show up as anger and not sadness? Can you encourage him to get screened? Have you talked about this with him & how it's affecting you?
What’s the appropriate age for marriage?
I give in fuck it why not
It’s not wrong. Curious, why were you tracking him in the first place?
I’ve seen a baby nearly die of blood loss due to a botched circumcision.
Break up man. You need to cut your losses here
I was married to someone like that, but we ended up being separated geographically due to a business we bought. Man, being apart was eye-opening. Being apart was difficult, but I couldn’t handle the negativity and whining and clinginess. The final straw was when my nephew got cancer and the children’s hospital was in my city and my brother’s family lived a few towns away. I would often spend the night at the hospital with my nephew so he wasn’t alone. After one particularly difficult night with my nephew, I got out of the hospital and turned my phone back on to have messages from him accusing me of cheating. He didn’t actually think I was at the hospital. My blood went icy. Literally it dawned on me that life was too short and I didn’t have to listen to this bullshit anymore. And that was that. I never looked back.
If he’s only been angling for a relationship or fooling around, he was never a real friend anyway.
Money she's been telling me we pay full rent. When actually she reci3ves benefit.
I don't want out. But, as an individual in a relationship, i have respectful my true self and protect my mental and physical health when relationships become to 'toxic'
It's really not. You said it yourself, most parents priority would be their kids. Not the next branch.
If everyone was like you people we wouldn't need bridges, we could just scale rivers in a single bound with the giant leaps you make.
BTDT. The result was ultimately divorce.
You should talk to him about this. Calmly and reasonably. Make sure he has room in the conversation to tell you what he needs, as well as you telling him what you need. Offer couple's counseling as an option.
However, you need to understand that there are no magic words. There is no magic tone of voice. You could spend ten years trying to express yourself just right so he'll listen, only to discover he simply doesn't want to listen. This is what happened in my marriage. And the thing I realized is that his behavior was absolutely intentional and very effective for what he wanted–it kept me feeling insecure about his love for me, kept me walking on eggshells so as not to upset him, and allowed him to avoid difficult conversations and accountability for his actions. It worked great, so why would he ever stop?
At some point you need to decide if you're willing to live like this permanently. Only you can decide when that point is, but I can tell you from experience that being subjected to this kind of behavior is psychologically devastating in the long run. I wouldn't recommend staying as long as I did.
Sounds like her husband and her mother have both called her fat her whole life so she's considering getting surgery to fix it, and can pay for it in cash with her own money. She hasn't done it and now won't because divorce is expensive. So, Who cares? It feels like you thought you found a “gotcha!” post in her history and are still trying to run with it.
Her husband calls her fat, isn't present in their lives, and now has concrete plans to cheat on her with another married woman. That's what she's asking about.
Yet another age gap post.
Congratulations on being able to leave! It's not easy but you did it!
Parental alienation is a real thing. It doesn't help that her mother spoils her either. She'll come around when she gets older. Hopefully she won't have daddy issues.
When talking about monogamy and non monogamy, it really depends on each persons preferences, at least that's what i think. If you are not 100% on board with the idea, or are “forced” into it by a partner under any circumstances… it will fail for sure.
To be honest even if people agree intellectually with a lot of the “advantages” of non monogamy when they actually try it a lot of people discover they can't actually do it for a lot of reasons ranging from jealousy to building resentment because of the difference in how easy it is for women to do it and how hard it is for men(unless you are and Adonis lookalike, or have the confidence of Thanos as a man you will hit a wall of constant rejection that will kill any self esteem you have).
Now, why chose monogamy: again different reasons for different people, so i can only share my view for it. In a relationship i see sex as a special bond between the partners, a bond i don't and can't share with another person outside the relationship. In order to actually love a person i need to know that she chose me and keeps choosing me every day, just as i do for her, if that is not possible for her and she needs external validation or just more/different sexual activity that i can provide than sadly it means we are not compatible and we will have a miserable future together, and honestly if you care about your partner you want them to be happy even if that's not with you.
Plus there is one more reason that i see is ignored in a lot of cases, a medical reason, STD's are no joke, specially in our society today, and the more sexual partners you have the more risk you take to get an STD. I have seen lives literally destroyed for one night of fun, with people getting horrible diseases that stick with you your hole life or even kill you(i lost a friend last year to HIV, that he got sleeping with a girl he picked up in a bar one night, and yeah he used a condom did not help). It might not seem that possible or that big of a deal… until you get one of these diseases and then your entire life revolves around it and you realize that one night of fun cost you your life.
All that being said, this is my point of view, and i am a monogamous guy, I am happy for people who chose non monogamy, and can actually do it(read a lot of stories here on Reddit of non monogamy working, but i have never seen IRL an open relationship working, or any other type of ethical non monogamy for that matter, they all fail after a few years and the roots of the failure can be traced back to sharing their partner, that does not mean it does not work just that I have not seen one example of it IRL)
Marriages aren’t about each person putting in 50/50. Relationships work because each person puts in 100% effort. Besides, your husbands portion of money isn’t equal to half— it’s far less than what you make so his logic is not logical. He sounds manipulative if you couldn’t feel open at the time to speak up to his nonsense and are waiting to bring it up so you don’t cause an argument.
Love a great ending!
What's there to love anymore? Everything your relationship is built on is a lie. He'll do it again and hide it better. He isn't disgusted with himself. He is only upset he's caught. Cut this off now before you get an STD. You are worth more than this. You deserve better than this. You gave him very lax boundaries and he abused him. You can't babysit him forever and he can't be trusted. This is not sustainable long term, trust me, I've been there with a cheater. They clean their behavior up until you stop keeping a watchful eye on what they're doing and then they go back to cheating.
Completely makes sense. We figured the same things. Saved money alot. But being with my husband on his own and having a whole family dynamic thrown in was hella different. Trust me when i say having a personal space to escape to is so important for your mental health.
If you do choose to do so maybe make sure u have a good friend or someone u could go to incase shit hits the fan worse case scenario. But just consider all the options and scenarios too.
Yeah, I get the feeling the wife is telling OP what he wants to hear and the. Just doing what she thinks is best.
Depends on your background or your country (I still know Countries where you need to find a reason to win more money during the divorce) I guess. If you look at op's posts you'll see that something is definetly off with him.
He didn’t attack you consciously, so that means he didn’t attack you. Work out how to avoid this happening again and support him if he wants to try therapy to help him recover from his trauma.
I had back surgery 12 years ago. During my first night in the hospital, which happened to be New Year’s Eve, I had complications with my bladder control. The hospital was incredibly short staffed, my calls to the nurse were going unanswered, and I ended up in basically a massive puddle of pee in tears, beyond embarrassed. I cannot describe the CNA who checked on my as anything less than an angel. She showed up, figured out what was happening, and set about cleaning me up and changing my bed while making normal conversation about everything except what happened allowing me to regain my composure and dignity. I barely remember my surgeon’s name but I still remember the name of that CNA.
Ok, so first of all I think your husband is underestimating the number of idiots in the world. If it's true that you've always been top of your class, have multiple degrees and aren't totally clueless in terms of common sense/emotional intelligence or street smarts then I'd say there's a high chance that you're far above average. Honestly, even if it was mostly “hard work,” I would say being able to concentrate for long periods of time and motivate yourself to work hard *is* a form of intelligence or at least an extremely valuable and admirable skill that a lot of people would be jealous of and that makes your intelligence way more functional than a lot of people's.
There's no reason your husband needs to rate your intelligence at all (maybe he gets a pass for that if you asked him directly). And even though I just said there's probably a good argument for you being ranked highly, this is a highly subjective topic. As you and he both point out, there are multiple kinds of intelligence and different ways of defining intelligence. So I guess my question is, why is he choosing to define intelligence in a way that makes his beloved wife merely average/slightly above, when it sounds like there are lots of other options and good points in favor of you being well above average.
She may have helped you at one time, but it sounds like she's controlling and manipulative. You should be very upset about the way she treats you and your family. Stop looking at her with rose colored glasses and see the situation for what it is. You need to speak up for yourself and your family, and tell her how wrong her behavior is.
I scared to even ask….
I'm not gonna call you stupid. But yeah this is not gentle behavior. I bet he showed you all his bad parts slowly, a bit at a time, so you kept thinking each individual thing was just a little bad thing. But now you can see behind the curtain, he's just a pile of shit in the shape of a man. You may have more bad relationships in the future, but they will not be this flavor of bad again, because now you'll know the warning signs and leave sooner next time. I know from experience, my relationships have rarely been bad the same way twice. Sending you strength, from one cum dumpster bitch to another ?
There isn’t enough runway in your relationship for that plane to take off. Try admitting to her and yourself that your actions were actually cheating. You’re gaslighting her and yourself, confused about why she doesn’t trust you.
I know it looks bad. But it feels wrong that she lives in a 152 square meters while we share a 58 outside of town. even if it isn't about the money, its about what this symbolizes. I don't know, it doesn't feel good
That's great if both of you can self-check and introspect before things get out of hand. Kudos
If she's not interested and you value your relationship, don't do it. Unless both people are absolutely sure they want to do it, the odds of ruining your relationship are high.
To be clear, you’re 18 now, and have been dating a 26 year old man for 2 years? So when you started dating you were 16 and he was 24?
Best case scenario he’s a child predator. Worst case scenario he’s a sex trafficker and child predator. If I were you, I would end this relationship right now. Ghost him, block him, protect yourself. This is not a safe situation for you.
Just be prepared because if his ex gives him 1inch of a chance, he's going to drop you in a second.
The fun part for OP is that unless OP confesses, he will never know for sure.
Were the dates incorrect? Was it a creative writing blurb? Did she switch names for privacy in case anyone read it?
You know what, OP should break up with her. There isn't a damn lick of trust here, which is THE most important thing in a relationship.
Or maybe his wife sees that his dad always put his hobby first. Plenty of fathers have hobbies sure, but at the expense of a wife doing more than her share of the work.
He is younger than you and might have other expectations of a relationship. Look out for someone 2 or 3 years older than you with relationship experience.
I would suggest just being supportive. Though I understand sex as a role in a relationship that brings you two closer, It sounds to me like this is a mental thing, and there's nothing you really CAN do for this. I see others recommending you talk to a doctor, and that couldn't hurt. Just make sure it's his decision as much as yours.
First of all, if you are sleeping over why do you have to ask to use the bathroom? Second why do you need to tell him you are doing #2? And 3rd, everyone shit!
Yeah, she does compliment me quite a lot. She seems to do that with her other friends too, though. Someone else joked we’d make a good couple, but that lead to a conversation where I told everyone I was straight and the next time someone joked about it she politely shut it down, I think she didn’t want me to be uncomfortable. I guess I didn’t really know I was attracted to her at the time, so I was okay with her shutting it down.
He need to slow down on eating fast
What makes you say that?
It’s really disturbing behaviour for sure and definitely abusive. I think she needs help and hopefully your kid isn’t seeing her odd behaviour.
Restaurant life. Sorry to hear that
I did, and she said it was inappropriate to spend time with a girl that wasn't her, and she evaded why she didn't mention it earlier.
All I can tell you is that I’m a woman who reads these types of books and they don’t make me horny at all. I think of the sex scenes as ways to emotionally connect with the characters, it’s how the author gets you to care about them.
I’m also not into most of the male main characters. I would say your girlfriend is the same. Ask her about it. Talk to her about it.
You’re far too young to get married. Sounds like you should split up because you don’t sound like you want to be with her. Try dating some other people.
His intent is to manipulate you into giving in. It's failing because you can tell that he's doing it. If you didn't, you'd start questioning your boundaries and feel bad that you make him feel like you don't trust him.
I see that sees are all bad signs and I agree. The thing is you’re correct, the relationship is new. And I want to make things work because we clicked so fast and things come naturally between us.
I used to be in this line of work, in Ca. Clubs have bouncers stationed around the room to be sure that weird dudes aren't taking pictures. And lol this sub gets fake posts all of the time. It would be bizarre to DM people and be like “ooo this is fake.” It doesn't pass the sniff test.
It is cheating
No OP is not a sex worker. She is “pro” sex work.
If you are uncomfortable with it then you need to communicate this to him. A healthy relationship is all about communication. Don't let emotion control the conversation. And I see a lot of “don't be insecure” comments. You are allowed to have boundaries. And this is coming from a plus sized sex positive woman who sends and receives porn and pics of nakey people to her own partner. It's not insecurity. Its a preference and boundary.
This isn't going to change, can you live like this the rest of your life?
Firstly it needs to be addressed what values you have that are different and you're going to have to speak with her about the conflicting values.
Second is that you are experiencing negative emotions about the past, which is unchangeable. Fomo is not a good thing to get wrapped up in. You need to ask truly why you want to have sex so much more. It can also be related to content you consume. Make sure you have a logical basis for your arguments. Really take the time and ask yourself why is it that this is what you want
I'm unsure if you are stuck in the mindset that your current relationship is lost, and you want to move on and have sex with other people because you are experiencing fomo of others experiences. To give away power like that will cause you anguish through comparison.
I think it would be beneficial for you to lay out your concern about kids and getting married. Make sure you have the best logic on why this is true for yourself. Presenting these facts will allow your partner to know what you want. I'm trying to cover the scenario of breaking up with someone due to only fomo. If it's about sex only, maybe there is an opportunity to see what your partners needs are sexually. It's possible that they may want more sex, there are just too many factors to consider, hence why you should ask
Just surprise her 2 days before vday.
She is surprised, less pressure, not every restaurant is full. Well next year.
You're not compatible. Move on
I just wanna say that you could potentially be eligible for ssdi (assuming you're american) off your work record, as ssdi does not care* about resources and other forms of support. SSI does and will take into account earnings from a spouse or other types of support.
everything social security is supposed to do, per their own rules, are basically at the hands of whoever handles the paperwork. Many humans involved at ssa, most of whom don't know all the rules. The asterisk denotes instances of where SSA is supposed to do something, not that they always do.
In that case sounds like I dodged a bullet
Because of your want for her, you are not thinking straight.
He asked you to be in an open relationship on Valentines Day
You thought he would grow up. You thought he would become a better person.
But he just showed you that he is not capable of being the partner you want him to be
Time to start thinking about yourself and the kids and putting together and exit strategy
Oh, my bad. I see I said that. I have posted their ages and my age. I thought my exs age was irrelevant so that’s why I didn’t include it. You simply could’ve asked for it instead of making an accusation and basically rebuking that I was in a relationship/abused. Ty xx
Maybe bed bugs lol. But for the sake of all women I hope he never touched a gun
I cooked him some of his favorite food for dinner, and now he isn't tensing up when I touch him, so baby steps 🙂
My advice is going off the idea that you guys haven't done foreplay…… anyway
I'm happy you did this… a man's favorite meal does more for him than you know….. reminds me of great moments . So, its great you are taking it slow… but besides taking it slow, you do have to approach sex AS A TEAM. . so the advice ill give you is “ROUnDING BASES”…. so as you know the “bases” first base, Second base, and third etc…. . Once he becomes comfortable again. Kissing and affection are great beginner exercises. Deep tongue kisses(if he is comfortable)…. now ROUNDING A BASE means to approach the NEXT BASE, but never go there…
So while deep kissing your goal would be to get him comfortable with being topless… and then you being shirtless, and then you being fully topless…. slowly of course while not going below the neck.
And all of it is step by step, until you get to base 2…. also bring the idea up in therapy if possible, so you will still take it slow but be proactive and keep communication strong.
I think from your comments that you're saying that you haven't spoken to this other contact since you started dating your GF. If you were never unfaithful/messaging other people then no, you don't deserve to be broken up with for being unfaithful. But that doesn't mean you're getting back together. She might have other reasons.
I don't mind if it's like rarely but not if my partner regularly goes out to eat alone with a woman. He wouldn’t be my partner then. Everyone has different boundaries and that one is not an unreasonable one.
How many children do you have and why is your step daughter going to residential care?
You may not be at fault, but you allowed him to kiss you.
This may not be the reality, but it will be your husband's reality if you don't tell him ASAP.
While innocent, you welcomed him in, was alone with him, and gave him emotional support. It can easily be twisted as an emotional affair.
I used to be a bit like this. I was afraid of being taken advantage of financially (due to a previous relationship where that happened) and that's why I was really mindful that I never paid more than the other. For some reason this only happened in one relationship though, I guess I was still processing the previous one. I'm good now.
My gf also had a phase where her sex drive was very low. It's completely normal to feel the way you feel. I also remember times when we had sex but it just felt like she was doing it because she felt obligated and because she felt sorry for me. Honestly, which man wants to be pity-fucked? I desire her and I want to be desired. I want her to WANT me! And I know that's kind of unfair because it's a lot to ask someone to FEEL a certain way about something, but here we are. I'm not apologizing for what I want and neither should you.
Unfortunately, I have no solution for you because our circumstances are very different. But always remember that it's not you against her, it's you and her together against the problem.
Cataloging for herself is one thing but showing those pictures to her friends in a round robin discussion of photos is another thing.
So you can ask her to stop it and if she doesn't, then you can stop being in a relationship with her because you're not comfortable with this going on
She’s not their mommy.
Do whatever will benefit you financially the most. If you do agree to sign an NDA, make sure it's one that only concerns divorce proceedings.
How long have you dated and how frequently in a month do you meet in real life?
Do you both take turns travelling?
I also suggest if OP starts a driving service or even keeps driving at night, he have a dash camera (pointed at him), GPS tracking him, and a way to store the data from both for a couple months.
Thanks for your point of view.
I guess that what made me react bad is that she seemed really enthusiastic and maybe jealous?
Never heard it called that. ??
I can’t imagine myself saying it to stranger let alone to a friend. And for it to come from my boyfriend? That hurts.
Or get a vasectomy. He makes literally no sense.
Unfortunate time to know how to read.
Why did it matter how long you were taking? She didn’t have anything scheduled.
Her complete ingratitude should have you reevaluate your efforts and her feelings towards them. You may feel you are doing benefit but she’s not appreciating it. That marriage comment would make many reconsider a relationship.
Next time. Just stop doing the dishes. Let her do them. You lost control of your emotions instead of handled the situation. Stand up for yourself. If you feel disrespected then get back your respect.
She never apologized because she doesn’t respect you. She’s tried to buy you off instead and criticize you more. You need to really reflect if you are the one making this relationship work and if she’s just using your efforts. Until she gets tired and moves on.
Lose boyfriend, keep dogs.
She wants to get back on her meds and I supported her in doing so. She hasn't made an appointment for it yet, unfortunately. I do agree with you tho. I'm not stupid and can normally tell if I'm being manipulated but I haven't had any experience with being in a relationship with mental issues so I don't know if shes genuine or using it as an excuse.
Her reaction was verbally abusive. Why are you tolerating that?
Thank you. I am doing my best to be more positive about all this.
Thank you. I am doing my best to be more positive about all this.
You’re waaaaay too busy to have a full time sprouting relationship. Hit the pause button on the girl situation. You have MAJOR important things coming up that will make your life THRIVE!
Don’t you dare quit on your goals!!! Focus! You got this!!!
They do when it makes sense. You have no clue the reasoning for the problem and unless your bf did something egregious which would require you to go against his wishes then you should have respected his decision. Doubt he came to it lightly. Your bf is your partner and who you support, if he’s ok with his decision and doesn’t want to reconcile, it’s not up to you to fix it.
They do when it makes sense. You have no clue the reasoning for the problem and unless your bf did something egregious which would require you to go against his wishes then you should have respected his decision. Doubt he came to it lightly. Your bf is your partner and who you support, if he’s ok with his decision and doesn’t want to reconcile, it’s not up to you to fix it.
Well, I guess you learn something you stay out of it isn’t your business you let him work out his own families, issues and now you know why. He’s a grown man. He knows what he wants to do and what he doesn’t wanna do so if you love him, be a good girlfriend and let him handle his own issues.
She sounds like a miserable person to know, let alone be friends with.
If you don’t wake up and let this man go, then you will be pregnant within a year. I bet money on it because he’ll make sure of it. If you’re not careful, he’ll systematically make sure you are that stay at home mom.
Additional to that, they sound like the least matched couple possible. This chick might have another unbearable unempethetic pretentious asshole out there to be their soulmate, but it isn't op.
Finding someone who has the same ideals is you is part of dating. If you find your ideals are so unrealistic that no one will agree to it, you need to work on it.
At the end of the day, you can't force someone to compromise when they don't want to.
she scheduled 10am on a sunday, WTFF
she scheduled 10am on a sunday, WTFF
It's because he's leaving his pregnant wife at home and heading out of the country to go party. Anything could happen but he's so worried about getting a few nuts with some randoms with his boys that he isn't prioritizing her, the baby, or the marriage.
Why are you with someone who hates you and keeps you around as a joke?
It definitely won’t be the doom of our relationship. I’m very committed. It’s just an aspect that has been lacking, so I’m trying to figure out how to improve it. When we talked about expectations a couple weeks ago, he said “I’ll make it up to you” so that’s why I expected a change by the next gift giving event.
It's just this one thing. Usually, he makes mostly nice stuff. But the one thing he's SO happy about is just hideous! He has talked about it many times and how proud he is about it. It is so ugly
You have a man who loves you and cares deeply about your career goals and mental health and you somehow see this as a red flag?
Your friends are probably low key jealous. You’re not depending on him- you can get a job anytime plus YOURE GETTING A DEGREE.
Why in the world would you pass up this once in a lifetime GIFT? He SAID 6 months tops! Not trap you for life.
What is there to think about???
If she really was being flirty, the correct thing to do here would be to ask her out… like on a DATE. What you said to her was basically “I want to have sex with you, but I don’t like you enough to care about you romantically.”
If she wasn’t actually being flirty, then she was probably creeped out.
Either way, apologize and let her know you value her as a friend, and that you maybe should have just kept your mouth shut, or asked her out in a way that doesn’t say all you’re worried about is getting your dick wet.
I’m leaning more toward she wanted you to to ask her out but it’s possible you misread her friendship as being flirty…
Ignore it.
If you see a delicious cake in the store and think “mmm that looks tasty” do you always buy and eat the entire thing that day?
If you see someone leave the keys in their Ferrari do you immediately drive it off?
Or do you engage your conscious mind and ignore the thoughts and impulses?
The answer is grow up. Don't get married.
Never met a Narc or an extremely selfish and dense person before huh? If parents and siblings can screw each other SOs this can and does happen.
Yeah, if dude will drop a 17 year friendship for a new one-month girlfriend, he deserves neither the friendship nor the girlfriend.
Let his wife know. If your wife loses her shit, you know she values him over you.
I am so so sorry but she has just lost all feelings for you. Probably because of the distance. But that isn't a reflection of you as a person. You are probably an amazing person and spouse. But it is too late to be hers.
It's called she's not happy in your marriage and it doesn't sound like there's anything you can do to change it.
People change over time and considering that you guys got together as teens, I'm going to guess that you are both very different than when you first started dating. Maybe you're not, but it sounds like she is.
When I see teens talking about marriage on here, I always say the same thing: you're going to grow and change and there's a good chance that you may not grow and change at the same rate or in the same way as your partner. I'm guessing that's what's happened here. It's sad, but it happens.
Just wanted to tell you I'm a bi woman who has been with my husband for 11yrs. I would never ever do what your wife did to my husband because she cheated. It's cheating to do anything sexual (setting, sexual/nude pics, emotionally affair, making plans for sex) with someone who is not your partner. Yes my husband and have talked about threesomes but that was something we communicated before any other step.
And with the new change of how now it can't be the three (and you only watch) it has to he her husband also, she's pushing it to be where you okay her cheating. She never wanted you to be part of it. She wants her cake and to eat it too.
I understand the consequences are my fault and no one else's but I'm still not happy to be in this situation.
He sounds very controlling and emotionally manipulative. He gets mad then blames you. He's threatening to move to Japan if you won't get back together with him. How is this not emotional blackmail?
What is best for you? What is best for your son? Answer these questions –
He lied about being married. Lied about the breakup. Left his wife because she was sick (semifinished you stay better hope you don’t get sick). Oh and he was 32 pursing someone a decade younger than him.
How many more red flags ya want?
I've read better creative writing on here. I think this deserves an F.
No one moves to Canada as a foreign Dr & continues in that profession automatically.
They aren't mutually exclusive. What OP is experiencing is a very old fashioned relationship where women had alot of their needs met by a “good” man in exchange for the occasional raping! It's not right, but it was the foundation for a number of relationships in the past.
It's easy for everyone to say “leave him”, but you can see that OP is generally happy with the other aspects of her life so it's not that simple. Clearly marital rape is awful and I don't want to trivialise it, but when lots of things are good and one thing is bad it's makes the decision to focus on the bad thing very tricky.
It's not something I would put up with personally.
Sounds like you’re just adding stuff to make yourself feel better since most of the comments are saying that you are playing a childish game.
She claims that these were toxic relationships and some of them abused her in horrific ways.
She said that she just never bothered to go back that far and delete them. Then she said that it hurt too bad to see the pics and that’s why she never deleted them.
As someone who has been in abusive relationships, I've gone through the same thing. I had pictures of my ex on my phone and any time I attempted to search for them and delete them, I would end up having an anxiety attack.
That said, your feelings are completely valid.
Maybe you could suggest that she lets you delete the pictures for her? I see that as a win-win. She no longer has to risk accidentally coming across them, and you no longer have to worry why she has pictures of her ex laying around
Honey, it is extremely common for abusers to make their true colors known only when the woman is “trapped” with marriage or a child. This is not a safe environment for you or your baby girl. What he is doing is abuse, plain and simple. His reaction is NOT your fault. He is an adult and he is responsible for managing his own emotions in a way that doesn’t hurt his pregnant fiancé.
You need to get out. Do you have friends or family that you can stay with, or who can support you through the birth?
Any dude who resists using a condom when asked should be shown the door and given a foot-assisted trip through it.
Any dude who resists using a condom when asked should be shown the door and given a foot-assisted trip through it.
as an ultimatum and said that if I don't change she'll feel too hurt (to the point of self harming) and will end this relationship.
This is the end of the relationship. If this tactic works, she will use it again.
You can either leave, or you can spend the rest of your life caving in to threats.
I hate to say it but this was my first thought. She tried something with someone else, realised the grass was indeed not greener, realised she had a good thing going with you and changed her mind.
It could have been something simple like going on a date, doesn't have to be physical contact.
I hate to say it but this was my first thought. She tried something with someone else, realised the grass was indeed not greener, realised she had a good thing going with you and changed her mind.
It could have been something simple like going on a date, doesn't have to be physical contact.
I think you're right but I don't know how to break off the friendship we've been friends since middle school and he's talked to me about his mental health struggles and I don't want to be responsible if he does anything
I think you're right but I don't know how to break off the friendship we've been friends since middle school and he's talked to me about his mental health struggles and I don't want to be responsible if he does anything
Leave. Tell hime to fuck off and get somewhere safe, also talk to law enforcement to keep aneye on things and warn your family
It's not realistic to think you're only going to have sex with virgins for the rest of your life. Pretty much everyone you date for the rest of your life will have had sex with other guys before.
People have sex for different reasons. Some times it's for love, sometimes it's for physical intimacy and connection, sometimes it's because people are horny or lonely. There's nothing wrong with any of those things.
What she's done in the past isn't really important. But if you're interested in being in a monogamous romantic relationship with her, then both of you will decide NOT to have sex with anyone else, just each other. The fact that she's had sex with other people in the past doesn't mean she doesn't care about you, and it doesn't mean she can't be monogamous with you from now on.
No spouse can compete with the thrill of receiving compliments and attention from another.
Nor should they have to.
The kind of external validation your wife needs should come from within. She is broken and 100% responsible for the failed marriage.
She is a broken person who is not suitable for a long term relationship.
start therapy you are distorting the facts
8 years happy vs. marriage is your story your wife cheats on you all the time real… she's not very happy
she signed up to go to another man's bed instead of the gym for over a month… to go to the gym to sleep with the guy.
cheated on you in the past
get her on a polygraph,
kids to have a dna test. get yourself std tests
she will continue to sleep with others,
Nope he wanted to see what was on the other side of that wall, so he went, didn't like what was there and now they both are trying to climb back over. ? you're not immature for saying fuck that. If they don't respect that boundary, let them know you're gonna call the cops for harassment.
I've been there, took both my ex and BFF back. It was horrible and it split our friend group, 3 of my friends were on my side and everyone else was on her side and was giving me shit for coming in between them (which I didn't, she was salty that he asked me out instead of her. We both had a crush on him..this was back in 10th grade) it was a horrible month ? we all lived in a small town so everyone at school knew everyone's business.
You need to ask her what you can do to satisfy her. STOP FOCUSING ON OTHERS. SHE CHOSE YOU. Now talk to her about what you both like. What you want and need.
The cheating aside which if you think that is going to magically be fixed by living closer you're only fooling yourself.
Some people are too busy to have a relationship and they don't even know it. They want a relationship but only have. 005 hours to dedicate to that every day and it's up to you too recognize that and move on. They may never get it.
I'd take this as a lesson in how to not rearrange your life for someone else. You need to go to the college you want to go to. Live where is best for you. Unless you are getting married it's not worth giving that stuff up for a possible relationship. You can end up screwing yourself over.
Show her the Adam Ruins Everything bit on diamonds & weddings rings. All you are paying for is lining the pockets of a corporation.
This is like if your partner was listening to a tourism company about how much you should spend on an average vacation.
If she wants 5-10 and you want 2-5…. Couldn’t you guys just compromise on a 5k ring?
thank you… i have cut her off now. but i have always been terrible at leaving romantic relationships so i’m not sure how to go about this one. nonetheless i know i should
Yeah this girl is clearly wasting your time
If she can't block someone from a foreign country who clearly has unresolved feelings for her then what chance do you have
It was a good choice to break up with her , now you just have to stick to your decision.
Not this exact situation. I have been long distance for a couple months at a time and it was extremely stressful and awful, and that wasn't a permanent state like you're in.
I have been young and not wanted to break up with someone when the relationship was beyond repair, because I felt like I would never have anything so special again. Hint: I did and even better
Yeah this girl is clearly wasting your time
If she can't block someone from a foreign country who clearly has unresolved feelings for her then what chance do you have
It was a good choice to break up with her , now you just have to stick to your decision.
Strikes me this relationship would be tiring even if she did happen to have sex more. Feels to me you focus on the sex almost as consolation while avoiding the real problem is that you find her so emotionally draining in general.
No way I call her back. She's a few French fries short of a happy meal.
When we first have that 'oh' moment where we sort of flip the switch and see a friend as a viable romantic potential it can be easy to get overwhelmed. You thought about all the 'big' ideas, like social ramifications and etc and yup, fair enough. Valid.
But in the process you also got well ahead of yourself. That's why you start small, explore, and in many ways really reflect on your own feelings here as well.
I don’t think you’ve been together long enough to make a major move together, especially since you don’t live together yet. It’s a huge gamble for both of you
Maybe he can’t do small talk or connect over sports or whatever crap mimbos are into
You are so, so sweet. He doesn’t deserve it.
I wanna tell you to pretend the screenshots came from somewhere that people were making fun of tinder profiles on. Or that a friend sends over the worst she finds to you, and that’s how you found it.
He’s gross.
How is it hat projecting exactly?
Yeah, I wouldn't want that either.
That's why I think it's a good idea to communicate how much you value your friendship, that this is bothering you, and asking her what she thinks.
You're not forcing her to do anything, just giving her information about your feelings and asking for information about her feelings.
She can still choose not to hang out with you if she doesn't want to.
Truthfully, the best thing for it right now is to give her some space. You were uncharacteristically cruel and hit her where it likely hurts the most when she was only trying to be honest. If I were in her shoes, I'd be rethinking things because of how you responded, not about the kids thing. She needs to come back from your response first; then worry about if kids are a dealbreaker for you or not.
FWIW, I am in a relationship where he wants to be with me more than the idea of having children. But there was a time when he tried to discuss some conflicting emotions and instead of a discussion, I told him to leave (we weren't living together at that time). We worked things out – it's been nearly 2.5 years since then, and just over 3 total together – but I regret hardcore not talking to him when he was trying to open up. I don't think we would have temporarily broken up if we'd talked instead.
I always wondered if people like you really feel the sense of smug satisfaction you portray, like are you actually a greased ponytailed schmuck giggling to himself while he slangs generic insults.
One day, one of you fellas took it to the max. He actually reached out to my partner on Facebook (his smugness betrayed him, he was positive she was fake) which means I got to see him and his life, and oh my god, was it satisfying for me.
Just a little umpa lumpa with a happy meal box over his face in his profile.
Just know, I know that’s you, if it’s not, shoot me your socials, show me how a real man gets down. Put my child self to shame!
I think you could have added “more often” than the general “men leave their wives” statement. You made it sound like a given. Also, I had a gf with an autoimmune disorder and it didn't cause our breakup. So, it's definitely not a given.
Nope, he doesn't have a legal leg to stand on. Gifts are gifts not transactions. Get a restraining order.
The issue is with your uncle!..He is the one choosing and liking young girls!
You should feel disgusted and call him out on his track records!.
What on earth is “trap yaoi” ?
too immature of people, must be in the teens ?
Its how teens do ok :((
The photos were of him having sex with a different girl.
First of all, we don’t know if he was SAed because we don’t know how drunk she was.
But second, and most importantly, none of my comment changes if it were SA and I specifically worded it as such. That’s why there’s no mention of cheating. If the genders were reversed it would be exactly the same because all of the decisions I described happened after the drunken night.
Being SAed vs cheating wouldn’t have changed that OP didn’t tell their partner what happened, which they still had a right to know for their own sexual health and transparency. It wouldn’t have changed OP not informing his gf that he got another girl pregnant. It wouldn’t have changed that instead he left her in the dark and dumped her out of the blue. It wouldn’t have changed that he immediately got together with someone new and younger or that he proposed very quickly.
So you don’t have to wonder what I would say at all.
Lol ? update me on what happens lol not only she is a coworker she is also a married women. If you don’t see the disaster in this by all means go ahead and tell us what happens but I can bet ya you probably at some point will lose your job and have to move
This would make her day. People like her thrive on knowing they hurt and damaged people.
His actions after the fact don't paint him in good light. And yes he was raped so he needs to break up with the 21 year old. His ex is allowed her feelings and if she has chosen to move on, that's ok too.
He is a teacher and it makes him uncomfortable; it's in the other post
I think you’d be benefitted by making a new post in both this sub and in r/DeadBedrooms , asking about how to broach the subject.
Something like ‘I love you and I love having sex with you, but I need you to stop pressuring me when I say no.’
But to be honest, if theyre giving you the silent treatment, I would just break up. It’s so immature.
My family has been very disapproving of the relationship and unfair to my boyfriend
Nah, I think they were pretty fair. I have a vocabulary of a sailor and not once have I used it against a person, let alone a partner.
This dude is violent, aggressive and lacks basic communication skills. If I were you, I would have been packed and gone by now.
What the fuck are you talking about? You don't know if I had an abortion myself or not. You just don't. You're just making assumptions that fit your narrative. On top of that, I know plenty of women who had to have the procedure for one reason or another and I talked to them about it. Every single one of them had a different reaction to it. You are invalidating the experiences of every woman that isn't you or who had different feelings about it than you had.
I don't know why you're so angry. But that doesn’t give you the right to shit on other women or their feelings. And it was blatantly obvious that you didn't read what I wrote.
You’ve been separated 4 months and you JUST moved back in to me that says you’re reconciliation really started within the last week or two maybe his friend already had it planned I know my friend group plans birthdays in advance. I don’t think this is divorce worth and you’re letting your feelings overrule reasoning. You can easily talk this out. Throwing away a marriage especially when you have kids over something like this would be an absolute shame that you’ll very likely look back and regret later
Your daughter and your ability to pick up your daughter are your responsibility, not your barely legal girlfriends responsibility
What a shit thing to say, and no it isn’t.
Your fiancee sounds like a nightmare if you ever break up.
Long distance can challenge people but I just don't like the run around youre getting. She sounds completely off and uncooperative.
You don't want to be stuck in this loop of second guessing and wondering if everything is going to be ok. You're worth more than a blind sided breakup and a limp attempt and discussing or fixing it.
Just remember your worth going into this.. If you crawl to get them back sometimes they just want to see you crawl.
Breaking up over one partner intentionally withholding the fact they have an STD and then having unprotected sex anyway*
Fixed your comment.
Battling HPV? Do you have a notion what you're on about?
Thanks for your reply! That is great advice, to do 50% of what i feel like doing. I will remember that! Thank you!
You mean ex
Didn't want to spoil her birthday discussing it on the day she was in a generally happy mood went out for a nice meal ect she seemed happy.
That’s a hundred percent what I got out of it too. The threesome thing isn’t the real issue here, it’s her likely affair with this individual.
Lmao. Sweet Karma.
Dump all of these fucking losers. They aren't worth being called your family after this little stunt.
There was one time when he choked one of our dogs
What the fuck
Yeah, she probably doesn't like the husband and was trying to bait him into playing around.
Dude a girl who dates 5 guys at the same time would definitely not be my first choice…. And girl who “did stuff” with someone else a few days before me would also not be ok with me. But the beauty of life is that you are different than me, and you can accept what is ok for you…. Can you live with this?? If you can them hey this may be the woman for you…. It you cant then there is your answer…. Hope it works out for you Buddy.
You both want different things. Dump him and move on with your life
I think you may care for him than he does for you. So you need to ask yourself: Are you ok with that? If you are not find someone who will treat you better than this.
Right? This whole post is ridiculous.
I’m getting tired of these porn posts
i keep thinking that it's my fault, if i wouldn't have been so emotional, he would've still been interested. if i wouldn't have had sex with him so soon, he would've valued me more. i feel like i cheapened myself and ruined all the fun and mystery by throwing myself at him, because now he knows i have feelings for him, he knows im scared, he know's he has all the power in this.
Your only mistake was to pick the wrong guy. Thinking of it as a manipulative game that you misplayed is a very bad way to go.
She’s in the wrong. She is jealous, possessive, and passive aggressive. You are allowed to have friends, and you explained it to her very well.
Her behavior won’t improve after you’ve married. Are you certain that you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who monitors your notifications, lies to you about not being upset when she is, and expects you to not speak to your friends? I wouldn’t.
Does your family have a history with alcohol?
I'm envious! 🙂
You are incredibly kind, thank you. I will try and grieve and be hurt as long as I need. I’ve already been preparing for the worst. But I will post an update on this situation as it develops. Thank you very much for your advice and help
I am not hung up on denying it.
I simply just do not perceive myself to be controlling.
I am very open-minded but clearly reddit is not the place to come to for advice as there are so many beta males on here.
No wonder there are so many cheating stories.
Best of luck, everyone.
My comment is pointing out that women suffer from this unfair thing. Your response is essentially “men have it bad too! Look how it sucks for them!” While sexism affects all genders in different ways, I do still think women are much more disadvantaged (6x is much higher than 1.75x after), and I respectfully reject your notion of balance and the implications behind it
Tijuana's not exactly a place you want to go for a day visit, or at all. And realistically, what “help” are you going to be doing over there? Folding clothes and dishing out the food at lunch time?
You're better off donating to a charity dedicated to getting those people the funds to buy the food and medicine they need. Volunteering for one day (read 8 hours) isn't going to make the earth shattering difference you've hypnotized yourself into thinking it will achieve.
You can get in serious shit (kidnapped, mugged, killed, etc) for speaking the wrong language or not being fluent enough in front of the wrong person. Your husband is 100% right to be pissed at you for not talking with him, and he's also justified in being pissed for you turning this into a “controlling” thing (since when has worrying about your SO's safety become a negative thing in relationships?).
You want “preserve who you are”? Donate. It's a simple solution; you get to give yourself the pat on the back you so desperately want, your husband gets to sleep at night knowing you'll be 100% safe. Win win.
4 months – 7 weeks= Not worth starting a family with someone you've known for 2 months.
This is actually really common and they all seem to end the same way. In a famous example, Elvis Presley was upset when Priscilla got pregnant so soon after their wedding (like it was her fault) because he didn't see mothers as sexual beings. There was no lack of love but love isn't enough. It never is.
Have you asked your fiance what his plan is for sex for the rest of your lives?
idk but it would be a hell no for me
Bruh
Your comments are so out of pocket. Controlling her over a guy who has her number (which she was pressured into giving). Good luck with that. Hopefully your gf gains confidence because when she does I guarantee she won’t see the benefit of dating you any longer
You get both of you into individual therapy
DEPENDATHOTAMUS! I'm dead. This is amazing. Clearly my first time seeing this version.
Agreed. Wait. It should be over the phone, not text.
If anyone tries to put Clorox on your crotch, don’t let them!! Do you know how dangerous that is for your skin?
I'm sorry you went/are going through that, but unless you're pregnant and want to keep it or need support if you decide otherwise, there's no need to contact him.
Thank you for commenting. I’m glad he told me to build our trust but yea ignorance is bliss and kinda wish I didn’t know at the same time. He knew I’d react this way I guess ? anyways I appreciate the advice it’s a very good stance.
As someone who is admittedly just like the gf…. Almost thought this was about my for a second before the examples…. It’s not fair of us to belittle our significant others, even if they are not stepping up to the plate to handle problems. She (and I) need to work on our language around these feelings of having to be the competent one and when it is necessary and when it is us feeling like we need to be the one who solves all the problems instead of letting others take life at their own pace.
But for you, it is so incredibly frustrating to feel “held back” by somebody. Ran out of gas? My job to fix it. Afraid of the hill? My job to make you comfortable at my own expense. Trouble teaching someone to swim? My job too. It’s exhausting and it makes us bitter.
You both need work. My therapist says I should consider couples therapy to held deal with this dynamic. If the relationship is worth it to you I guess I suggest the same.
You were raped and your fiancé is handling this VERY INAPPROPRIATELY. He should be mad at the dude that assaulted you…not you babes.
Take care and seriously considered if you wanna get married to this dude after this. His behavior is trash and marriage normally makes things like that worse not better.
Yeah, she dodged a bullet with you. You were already making all of her important life decisions for her. Big red flag. Let her go and work on yourself.
What is exactly normal? I don’t see a problem here. Everyone has different normals
My thoughts but expected it to be hella controversial.
It’s one thing if you’re staying home and not having to work, quite another if you’re also working full time
Or just stop stalking this woman?
We “officially” got engaged a week ago.
We've only been together for 6 months.
Since then, I realized that maybe this isn't a good idea
I would be less worried about there being a spark and more worried that you think getting engaged at the 6 month mark to a 24 yr old that you barely know isn't the red flag you should be concerned about. Please do hold off on wedding planning.
If there is no spark, why did you get engaged? If you are unsure how to have a healthy relationship, wouldn't it be prudent to work on recognizing healthy and unhealthy dynamics within a relationship vs. (apparently) believing that whatever relationship you are in is THE relationship? It is called dating for a reason. You date, you figure out what you're looking for in a partner, what is totally unacceptable, what your goals are, what your relationship goals are, etc.
If you’re able to, check out your blocked contacts list and blocked list on social media. There’s a chance he blocked her accounts on your phone to ensure she doesn’t come up when you search for her.
You said over a year so I assumed that meant you moved in together less than a year in. If it was at the year mark, yes that’s normal.
cut it off
It’s not a small thing. He’s being unkind and disrespectful to you. He knows you don’t like it but he does it anyway. He’s not a nice man at all.
Oh God is this why both my LTR has lasted ~6 years
Because he's helping his friend?
She wants to be with a cheater? Let her. Call her bluff. Lawyer up.
She's telling you her love for you is actually for the paycheck you bring home. Believe her.
She's telling you she'll dump you, or cheat on you if she can find someone that can support a better lifestyle.
She might already be. Believe her.
You deserve better.
Leave her lazy entitled ass immediately. Tell her to go back to her cheating ex and enjoy being made a fool of because she deserves it. All she is interested in is having some man pay for her expensive lifestyle. She's an odious waste of space.