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Willyt98, 24 y.o.
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Date: December 15, 2022
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Why are they even sending gifs and pictures in the first place? All of it does not sound like a normal babysitter parent relationship. The secrecy, her coming over for an hour ish, deleted texts, kids told to lie… dodgy
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You both sound like shitty immature partners. 4 years and you've seen nothing? Have you been constantly viating his boundaries that whole time? His reaction sounds like a lot BUT we have only your side which very much glosses over your own behavior.
She even made a post during one saying “missing him” but my messages were left on unread
I have no words for such disrespect
the only thoughts i have is divorce him. he’s 22 with a 12 year old brain. why waste your time being bogged down? you’re clearly a very capable, badass individual. find someone who admires that about you not one who tries to bury you in their toxic masculinity beliefs
So, is it just financially that she doesn't trust you? Or is it all the way around? Because if it's just about money and she cannot get that out of her head, then maybe you could sort of take that bull by the horns and tell her that you are prepared to maintain completely separate finances. You will never so much as borrow a nickel from her, you will always pay your own way, and if things progress to cohabitation, and eventually marriage, then you can have one joint account where you each contribute your “share” for household expenses, and have a prenup, ect.
If that won't set her mind at ease, nothing ever will and you will have to decide whether or not you can have a life with someone who refuses to trust you.
And if what she means is that she doesn't see herself EVER fully trusting you about ANYTHING – then you probably should accept that she is still too damaged right now to be in a healthy relationship, and you should probably end things before you become further invested in a relationship that will never work.